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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU in not telling my mother I spent the 8k she gave me....

241 replies

Username12345 · 04/10/2014 17:11

....on crap.

She told me it was for me. But after I spent it she told me it was to put towards important things like a car or wedding.

Oops.

OP posts:
melj1213 · 13/04/2020 14:35

ZOMBIE THREAD

This thread is 6 YEARS old

Bowerbird5 · 13/04/2020 15:10

Wow I would be disappointed if my kids did that but perhaps she need to say first. It wouldn't have been so bad if you used half to buy a car.

Bowerbird5 · 13/04/2020 15:11

Oh I should have turned to last page before posting.

Coffeecak3 · 13/04/2020 15:21

@Username12345. A gift is a gift. You were unwise perhaps to spend the money on ‘crap’ as you call I but if it’s technically your money then that’s your choice.

SuperlativeScrubs · 13/04/2020 15:33

It's funny, because if it had been a new car or a holiday or spending it on any other hobby that isn't gaming then the tone of this threat would be entirely different.

I get it OP. I have spent on in-game purchases because Gaming is a hobby I enjoy just as much as Music.

You have no obligation to tell her at all, as an adult. Just don't even mention it. She can't gift you money to spend on yourself then call up a few months later stipulating what you should spend it on. That's not a gift.

SparklingGin · 13/04/2020 15:33

There are people at the moment struggling to feed their family in the current crisis, I find the timing of your post distasteful to say the least.

SuperlativeScrubs · 13/04/2020 15:33

Good god. Zombie thread Hmm

Queenoftheashes · 13/04/2020 15:35

So, OP, did you tell her?
And did you ever need to pay for a wedding or house?

Smolbeanlizzie · 13/04/2020 15:37

You just do... Its easy

eggcream · 13/04/2020 15:39

There are people at the moment struggling to feed their family in the current crisis, I find the timing of your post distasteful to say the least

@SparklingGin the OP posted almost 6 YEARS AGO
I doubt she was fucking psychic.

Smolbeanlizzie · 13/04/2020 15:40

They need advice, your being selfish by denying them that. Multiple just died while writing this, does that mean I can't post this reply?

ghostyslovesheets · 13/04/2020 15:40

@Smolbeanlizzie

are you bored?

Smolbeanlizzie · 13/04/2020 15:42

Lol bruh momenttt

Smolbeanlizzie · 13/04/2020 15:43

I'm currently playing warframe which I have spent money in, and have over 200 hours
No I'm very amused.

saraclara · 13/04/2020 15:44

I would imagine op's mother has given her the money to avoid inheritance tax. Her choice if she wants to 'piss it up the wall'.

You realise that the OP's mum has nothing to gain from avoiding inheritance tax, right? She's trying to avoid THE OP having to pay inheritance tax when the mum dies. Which is a thoughful act. OP on the other hand has been thoughtless with that money.

SunshineCake · 13/04/2020 15:46

Does anyone remember when ...... threads were funny?

Goady in an entertaining way. The hamster in the soup is one I recall.

MontysOarlock · 13/04/2020 15:48

ZOMBIE thread from 2014

Sparklesocks · 13/04/2020 15:50

@Smolbeanlizzie clearly not amused enough if weirdly going through 6 year old threads and replying to them...

lotusbell · 13/04/2020 15:50

Not even sure why you posted this to be honest, OP. You don't even sound that arsed about it.

lotusbell · 13/04/2020 15:51

Ha, just seen the original post date

Smolbeanlizzie · 13/04/2020 15:55

It was on the gaming section and... We're all on momsnet so we're all pretty sad ngl

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 13/04/2020 15:59

Essential gaming stuff??? Biscuit

Zombiemum1946 · 13/04/2020 16:00

If I were you I'd start saving every penny I could. What's done is done, and unless she asks for specifics keep quiet. If you spent thousands on a gaming laptop you should have no need to go out, ask friends to come round to socialise, cut back on everything you can. You messed up but you can fix it if you're serious enough about it. Good luck.

WombOfOnesOwn · 13/04/2020 16:00

The gaming companies that make these types of games focus an unbelievable amount of energy on hooking the 10% of customers who make any in-game purchases. The big spenders can go through an absolutely absurd amount of money.

MANY of the people who spend top percentile amounts on in-game purchases are people who have had recent windfall income and have relatively low fixed financial obligations, or have recently obtained a new line of credit. This is in fact their target audience: people who will later be ashamed and horrified by how much they've frittered away. They prey on 18 year olds new to university with their first credit cards, bored stay-at-home parents who just got a small inheritance, stuff like that.

They actually develop whole "personas" based on these scenarios, the better to exploit them. These game companies have entire teams devoted to creating just the right treasure box opening animations that give people the biggest dopamine rush and likelihood of plunking down a little more money afterward.

I used to work one floor above a company that did this, and went to lunch with its employees. It was enlightening to see how they thought of customers, and absolutely ensured that I will never install a "free to play" game on my smartphone or PC.

OP is a bit more gleefully sociopathic about the whole thing than most people would be, but the truth is that it's probably a lot easier for the OP to sneer and act in control of the situation, than to confront how badly they have been conned, and how little control they actually had over the situation as it was occurring. It's very uncomfortable for people who've been trapped in a dopamine release cycle to admit to their irrationality and lack of ability to think about others while in the cycle.

Gambling would have been better. At least there's the chance of winning a real, rather than virtual, jackpot.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 13/04/2020 16:00

Ah a zombie?