AIBU in not telling my mother I spent the 8k she gave me....

[Username12345]

....on crap.

She told me it was for me. But after I spent it she told me it was to put towards important things like a car or wedding.

Oops.

Really OP, grow up.

You have issue with you and your mothers relationship.

Spending the best part of £8k on something as intangible as in game purchases isn't going to go unnoticed.

Your mother will know you pissed it up the wall even if you don't tell her- you have nothing to show for it.

The very fact you keep on taking her hand outs is testament to that.

I think my 'armchair psychology' is closer to the mark than you want to admit.

Go on- tell her what you did with it- I'm guessing it won't actually bother her too much if she wants to get rid of the cash- she'll just think you're an idiot for not doing something more useful with it as you are clearly not as financially secure as she is.

I'm pretty sure no one else on this thread is 'jealous' of someone spending nearly £8k on games calaveras - I certainly think it's very, very sad.

Another thought OP, your mum could stop putting money in your account at any point, you are living as though you have a much bigger income than you do. It doesn't matter if it was gaming or eating out regularly, or switching from Asda to Waitrose, the effect is the same, you spent it as it was day to day income for living, not ring fenced for something particular.

this in itself is fine as your mum didn't tell you not to do this, but you are used to having a larger lifestyle than your income allows, and she could just stop without warning.

Mumoftwoyoungkids's idea of transfering it out straight away and then also trying to save from your normal income to make up for your overspend is a good one. You will get used to the new lifestyle quickly and you will have a nice lump sum for something 'big' later.

Don't tell your mum. Just fix it rather than having a fight with her.

Hmmm - slightly off topic and a long thread, so forgive me if this has been mentioned, but I believe that your mum is only entitled to give you £3k per year tax free. You may have already declared it as income but if not, the other £5k is, I think, subject to income tax . . .

I could easily waste that amount of money in 17 months on books, a few bits of make up in a month, meals out and silly little things.

It is a waste of money I guess, but no more than spending it on a wedding or holiday is, imo.

I never understood spending thousands on a holiday that last two weeks at most usually.

Don't tell her, she gave it to you with no strings attached and it was yours to spend as you wanted, regardless of what anyone else thinks about what you spent it on.

No, longtallsally, her mum can give her what she wants. If she does within seven years, anything bar 3k pa will fall back into her estate and be chargeable to inheritance tax.

FFS, next time buy an Alienware PC and either purchase some complete games without microtransactions, or some subscriptions to a pay-to-play few good quality MMOs.

You know why microtransactions exist? Because they successfully entice some people into spending far more in a month than they ever would have in six months on a pay-to-play game.

calaveras

Now you mention it...

*to a few pay-to-play

YABU only if you now expect her to give you more to fund essentials (or non-essentials). Otherwise, if an unsolicited gift, it's your choice.

It wasn't really £8k on gaming was it?

In-app purchases aren't really about games. They are about feeding compulsive behaviour, and they feed the same brain functions as slot machines. www.gamasutra.com/view/feature/195806/chasing_the_whale_examining_the_.php

With real games it would take you many years to spend thousands of pounds, because real games provide you with a work of art - a game that has had hundreds of thousands of man hours spent on art, music, logic, etc, and in return for that you pay a flat price. In-app purchases on the other hand are basically slot machines - simple games that can be coded by one person, and which have as their raison d'etre, NOT to provide a good game for a fair price, but to hook a few people and get them to spend THOUSANDS, on a game whose fair price is two or three quid (of course the headline price is 'free', the purchases come after they've sucked you in).

There's a big difference between spending thousands on shitty games worth a few quid, and say spending thousands on a car, or a fancy computer - at least the computer or car are priced according to fair value.

My opinion is that once money is given as a gift, you have to let go of it. That is why I don't lend/ give money. I would have trouble letting go of my emotions and control over the cash.

Everyone on this thread is acting like the OP held her mother at gunpoint. It was only after she had lent her the money that she told her the terms.

I get that most people would deem £8000 on gaming a waste of money. Well, I deem £8000 on a car a waste of money. Maybe I deem £8000 on private education a waste of money- its all subjective.

Don't tell her, just replace it and control yourself better in future.

Bearbehind- not every outgoing has to be tangible to be well spent, btw. Like debt or bills for instance, so the mother won't necessarily ask 'I can't see where my money went, where is it?'

However, my OH and I bought a nice holiday and a TV for our living room, as it was summer and we had some overtime. It just so happened that just after that, my OH's dad gave us £4000 after selling his house (so did my OH's siblings) A few weeks later, he visited us and then got annoyed because he thought we had spent the money on sunning ourselves and getting a big TV, when in reality the money he had given us was in our sons' savings account. He was really embarrassed when I told him I would walk him to the bank to give him his cash.

You wouldn't take a parcel back at Christmas, so don't give money you can't afford to give away.

Agapanthers

I agree with every word you said about these "free" "games"!

I really wish people were less snooty about spending money on purchasing games outright, because it's created this huge market for "free" entertainment in the forms of games.

It's bad for individuals' pockets and it's bad for games: Plants versus Zombies was much better than micro-transaction-mad PvZ2.

username DH is dying to know which game?

Oh goodness, OP. The things you could have done with a lump sum like that

If I had that kind of money given to me, I could clear every penny of old student debt I have off, go on a nice holiday, save enough to cover all of my bills for the next year, learn to drive and take my my dd on some day trips with whatever was left.

I don't think any parent hands over an amount of money such as that, unless the family is a very wealthy one, without it being meant for something 'big' - paying off debt, buying a car, putting towards a house deposit or a wedding, etc. I haven't read the full thread but I have to ask - why have you spent £8000 so frivolously? Would it not have taken your mum a long time to have saved? Even if your mum has inherited the money somehow, surely it has taken somebody somewhere a long time to accumulate such a sum? I can't even afford to save £10 a month for my little girl right now, so I hate to think of the time and sacrifices it would take to save £8000 up for her.

I would personally be utterly ashamed of myself if faced with your reality - that will sound harsh, but I just mean that that's how I would feel, not how you should feel. But honestly, I would spend my time dreading my mother ever asking what my plans for the money were. I wouldn't know how to tell her and frankly, I'm not sure she'd want to hear the answer in your case...

It's their money, their hobby, they could make a career out of it, their mother decided to give them 8k so they obviously aren't in poverty, I'm sure she can handle it if she's a sensible mother.

If she asks then yes I'd tell her. It all seems a bit odd that your mum would randomly give you 8k for no apparent reason.

You muppet
That’s all I can say !

A fool and their money are soon parted. Here true over two generations.

This thread is 6 YEARS old so I’m guessing it’s been sorted by now 🤦🏻‍♀️

The only word that comes to my mind OP is that you are a loser 😂