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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU in not telling my mother I spent the 8k she gave me....

241 replies

Username12345 · 04/10/2014 17:11

....on crap.

She told me it was for me. But after I spent it she told me it was to put towards important things like a car or wedding.

Oops.

OP posts:
drudgetrudy · 04/10/2014 20:39

Well- a gift is a gift- and if your Mum didn't specify what it was for she can't say anything. However if her hard-earned money was just frittered in this way I think she is entitled to be hurt and I doubt that more money will be coming your way if you do want a wedding/house deposit/car.

Personally I'd try not to tell her and try starting to save.

HappyAgainOneDay · 04/10/2014 20:40

Good God! If I were the OP'smother and found that she'd wasted hard earned money that I'd given her, there would be no more to come. I save for the future and that includes what I leave my DS for after I've died. If he'd wasted a large amount of a gift from anyone from me, I'd leave it to someone who knew how money had to be worked for or Battersea Dogs and Cats Home.

doobledootch · 04/10/2014 20:42

Did you just start this thread becAuse you felt your mother's disapproval wouldn't make you feel bad enough? Wink

If she didn't stipulate when she gave you the money that it was to be spent on x, then she can't complain now. As for everyone else, well it just isn't any of their business.

buffythemuffinslayer · 04/10/2014 20:43

That is a huge amount to spend on gaming stuff! I understand she gave it to you, but £8k is proper money, not pocket change.

That said, at 18 I received about £2k from my father as inheritance, and spent it on crap. Which overall added up to a great university experience, and he was the kind of man who would spend it on the same, but I still regret it. It made me more careful with money in the long term.

Start saving - now. Enough to buy something significant in a couple of years and let her know.

Original poster
Username12345 · 04/10/2014 20:55

By gaming do you mean gambling?

No.

Your posts and the 'Oops' comment make me think that you are very young OP

I'm not. I really should know better. It was more of an instant gratification thing.

Getting an Alienware PC with multiple screen set up would be a costly.

I wish it was that amazing. If it was material I could at least sell it. It was more like in-game purchases.

Why was she giving you 8 grand in the first place? Were you in financial difficulty?

To save apparently before I spent it. No, I'm not in financial difficulty.

I think she is entitled to be hurt and I doubt that more money will be coming your way if you do want a wedding/house deposit/car.

She's still paying in money for me.

OP posts:
Whereisegg · 04/10/2014 21:02

in game purchases! Shock

ChippingInLatteLover · 04/10/2014 21:04

How would you feel about stopping spending on gaming & non essentials and saving that money back again?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 04/10/2014 21:06

Well she did albeit very kindly give it to you and in my book you can't give someone money and dictate how they spend it.
So no Y.N.B.U.

ImperialBlether · 04/10/2014 21:07

Did your mother have to work to give you that money?

Nusalembongan · 04/10/2014 21:08

Blimey.

I could easily spend £8k in about 10 mins but it would be on a holiday.

mummymeister · 04/10/2014 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LIZS · 04/10/2014 21:11

So you mean like extra coins, lives, tips etc . Might you have a gaming habit that needs addressing ? Start ring fencing anything else she gives you until you recoup what you have squandered. Maybe open an ISA which you can't raid for a while.

Nusalembongan · 04/10/2014 21:12

Wow and I thought I was crap with money but that really is crap.

Gruntfuttock · 04/10/2014 21:13

"She's still paying in money for me."

You make that sound like a regular thing. So she gave you £8K and is still giving you money?

Itsfab · 04/10/2014 21:15

You sound very spoilt and immature. I would not be impressed and you certainly would not be getting any more money from me.

ClashCityRocker · 04/10/2014 21:17

Look on the bright side....I bet you have the best Springfield going in Simpsons Untapped...

Personally, I think it's surprisingly easy to burn through significant sums of money without thinking. I came into some money (not a gift, or inheritance or anything like that - and a fair amount less than the amount in question) and it was soon gone....without very much to show for it. Look at lottery winners who end up bankrupt or broke within a few years. Large sums of money relative to income have an odd effect on people.

If it was me, I would probably not mention it and make a really effort to save it back up, thinking along the lines of 'I've used my luxury/frivolous allowance up for the next x months/years in advance'. I'd sort of see it as a loan to myself that I would repay, IYKWIM.

I'm probably morally reprehensible, though.

Bulbasaur · 04/10/2014 21:17

Wait, thousands of dollars worth of in game purchases?? In 17 months??

Jesus Christ OP. Shock

What games are you playing?

I love playing games like the best of them, but I can't say I've spend more than $200 in a year on online games. Once you have the items there's no point in spending more. Were you getting those dumb gatchapone, blind box, chance items?

The very, very most me and DH spend on a blind box item was $70 and that was because it took multiple tries to get the gear we wanted. (This was also while we were 19-20 and living with our parents rent free mind you).

How old are you?

You might have gaming addiction issues.

ClashCityRocker · 04/10/2014 21:18

Oh, and for the love of god,don't take any more money off your mum!

OhMyArsingGodInABox · 04/10/2014 21:19

Candy crush extra moves?

ShatnersBassoon · 04/10/2014 21:20

Could you say the game purchases were essential if she asks?

ClashCityRocker · 04/10/2014 21:20

Ah, candy crush is easy. You can just set the clock forward and get more.

thatstoast · 04/10/2014 21:22

Must be Farm Heroes Saga, that's much harder than Candy Crush.

Bulbasaur · 04/10/2014 21:25

Large sums of money relative to income have an odd effect on people.

Yeah, I do agree with that. When you get a large sum like that it's very easy to think that the supply is endless.

This mentality is how people end up in thousands of dollars/pounds of credit card debt. They don't understand the worth of money, and when they don't earn it themselves they don't bother to learn because it's a free ride.

But that said, if you want someone to spend your money on a certain thing, you do need to tell them how you want it spent.

Original poster
Username12345 · 04/10/2014 21:26

mummymeister Not sure why you have a chip up your arse. I didn't spend your money.

you should feel some sense of shame that you are poncing off someone else in this way

I'm not 'poncing' off her. She pays it in, I don't ask her for it.

You might have gaming addiction issues.

Nah, just boredom. They kept bringing out new thing and I had to have them. Like I said instant gratification without thinking.

And it wasn't all on that. Like I said car needs fixing, insurance, getting laptop fixed etc. were a couple of K too.

OP posts:
YoYoYooooo · 04/10/2014 21:29

I so want this to be true. I would be appalled but also slightly impressed with the OPs choice of total wasting.

My Dad only ever gave us money if we promised to waste it. He does the same with my kids who are happy to oblige.

I'm on level 655 on Candy Crush. It's got a bug and I suspect it would cost a few thousand to defeat it.