To think this is not an erotic thing to do during sex?

[Lottieandmia]

Ok, I've not name changed for this because I suspected that people would think I was a troll.

Anyway, recently I slept with someone new and he spat in my mouth. Apparently he thinks this is erotic?

Personally I think it's a sad reflection of how people these days watch way too much porn. Does anyone actually like this and am I severely out of touch? I'm generally quite open about new things. But I don't think spitting in someone's mouth can do much to heighten sensation. I was left wondering just why?

That's revolting. Absolutely revolting.

I would be revolted even in a long term, share bodily fluids, toothbrushes kind of situation, let alone with someone new.

Vile.

I'd have spat it out and left or made him leave.

Gross - bit I don't think it's a porn thing

I thought spitting at someone was the ultimate act of contempt towards another. That is absolutely abhorrent and if someone did that to me, they wouldn't see me for dust.

Rank. No question! What a looser.

Spitting is definitely a porn thing. Not mainstream maybe but gonzo. I don't watch that stuff but have seen documentaries and read plenty.

Of course it existed before porn. So did everything else.
It's just a consent thing. Everything is acceptable if the people involved freely consent to it.He was wrong to assume you would consent to it though - spitting on someone is considered assault.

Whether or not it existed before porn isn't really the point.

The point is that practices which used to be things people came to during a long sexual career and process of what they liked and didn't like and growing into their own "thing", is now being presented to huge swathes of people from a very young age as just something you might like to have a crack at when you have sex.

And given that most porn is made by men for men the people who are left trying to field a whole plerthora of "tricky" bizarre or extreme acts, often without consent or at least with coercion, are girls and women.

It's fucking depressing.

For me, I would have thought, if you're into something which is not vanilla, then maybe raise it as a "we could do this" on a not-first encounter. Unless you met through a bondage site or something you need to proceed on the basis that the person you are with has bog standard boundaries and requires consent for stuff, up to the point where they have consented to other stuff, surely.

FFS.

I wouldn't say it's contemptous when I do it, but it is dominant. And intimate. It could be insulting in context, and clearly is in this case, given the lack of consent.

Lottie, you haven't said (or I missed it) what the outcome of this incident is for your relationship with this boundary-crossing tosser.

Fucking hell I hope im never single again if this sort of thing might happen. I hope you don't see him again.

See the thing about sex is everything goes as long as both adults have consented are want to take part in the "everything"

The point is you didn't consent or want to take part though so this guy was an arsehole!

Iv nothing against people who want to do even the weirdest stuff with each other but the very least is you ask first!

Personally though spitting would be bad enough (not my thing) but in my fucking mouth!

Boundaries are a very personal thing and of course should be discussed and agreed upon, but can we not tar everyone with the same brush please? There's things that other women appear to consider ordinary sex acts that I would never do - I wouldn't usually put a penis in my mouth and would never let a man ejaculate in it. That simply means it's not for me, not that it's vile, per se.

I hope you kicked him to the kerb?

GF, nobody is tarring everyone with the same brush.

It's the lack of consent that is the issue here, just like you have said

This ignorant twat went ahead and did something he knew not everyone would be up for. Completely out of order.

Ewwwwww...

Minger.

Oh god, oh god. Not a good OP to read while suffering with a vile acidic hangover

Can I ask what your immediate response was Lottie?

I'm trying to imagine how I would deal with that. At the moment I'm thinking that I'd jump up sharpish and shriek at him.

Is this the same weirdo who insisted on calling you "bitch" during sex? If so his boundaries are seriously skewed.

Lottie, are you seeing him again or not ?

There is no relationship at all. He did not seem aggressive or like he was deliberately trying to harm me. He did admit that it was something he'd seen in porn. I thought it was weird.

No it's not the one who called names. I didn't see him again.

Not sexy.

Repulsive.

Someone tried to spit in my vagina once. Wtf?!
A) I didn't need lube and b) EWW

Truly rank, never heard of it. Kind of like when my ex dp thought tit wanking meant flapping my boobs up and down (painful to say the least)

Using spit as lube seems to be used in porn and erotic fiction as well. It's probably one of the worst lubricants you an use.