To think this is not an erotic thing to do during sex?

[Lottieandmia]

Ok, I've not name changed for this because I suspected that people would think I was a troll.

Anyway, recently I slept with someone new and he spat in my mouth. Apparently he thinks this is erotic?

Personally I think it's a sad reflection of how people these days watch way too much porn. Does anyone actually like this and am I severely out of touch? I'm generally quite open about new things. But I don't think spitting in someone's mouth can do much to heighten sensation. I was left wondering just why?

I want to share a weird spitty story but it isn't mine to share... hate when that happens

It was just a bit of saliva. I didn't feel sick actually just thought it was odd compared to anything else. To be honest I found it far less offensive than being called bitch etc. but still he should have asked me first I guess.

Margot-I worry about our sons too. Porn is very damaging imo.

OP-I think I'd have had to bleach myself all over!

NOPE.

Why do people think it's okay to do things like that without asking?!

Spitting is vile and disgusting but doing that in somebodies mouth without having the decency to ask. This would be a no no for me, and a dealbreaker.

It is a fetish thing, but he seems to have missed the point that "fetish" is outside the bounds of "normal" sex and you have to ASK first. You don't just do it. Gross.

mrsspagbol I lived with my parents and at the time they were either out or on holiday, they certainly weren't in the house. I'm not really sure if that makes it any better.

he is the most despicable human being I've ever met and sadly I still have to see him as he is my DC's dad. thankfully we are no longer together.

Totally disgusting. Never heard of anyone ever doing this. I didn't even know this was done in any port movies.

porn*

I know of 'water sports' iyswim

It shows a lack of respect and regard for you, what did you say to him when he did that!

There was a thread on here recently about whether there was an expectation among teenagers that anal sex was just something that was done, no discussion needed. The general feeling was that porn had normalised anal, put it in the same class as 'French' kissing.
I want my dd to expect certain things to happen during her first sexual experiences and to DO certain things but other things to follow as part of a discussion between her and her partner. Whether it's a one night stand or a long term relationship, whether the discussion takes place whilst she sips a glass of wine in between experiences on this one night, or whether it takes place on she and her partner's wedding night after a long engagement.

I hate this "well that's how it is nowadays" thing.

Gross, he would not get a second chance with me.

Well in my camp anal sex is till out of tge norm so need to discuss it

Disgusting vote from me, too.

This is fucking disgusting & would have made me heave so no, not at all erotic.

Let's not blame porn. You can find anything and everything in porn thanks to google. People will only watch what turns them on. If he's watching spit porn, it's because spitting turned him on in the first place.

That said, if someone spit on me, they'd be sleeping on the couch.

Which is why it's important to talk about your likes, your dislikes before jumping in the sack with someone. If you're too embarrassed to talk about it, you shouldn't be doing it.

I'm going from Geordie shore now - from that I would say sex is pretty much as it's always been, except that young women are more open and free to have casual sex than women of my age group were.
Young women with low self esteem are vulnerable to pressure though, as they always have been, and they probably are placed under pressure to do more extreme things.
Anal sex is certainly nothing new though. I'm 54, and at least one of my partners took it for granted that it was on the menu.

I'm with you Aero but on that thread people with more knowledge of teenage views on sex than I will ever had, were feeling that anal was seen as just a routine part of sex.
It took my current partner and I 3 years to get around to talking about anal sex. Then we tried it, didn't decide to buy it, and it's never been discussed again. (We were each others' first partners, so it took a little time to master the basics, 'twas fun though). Other things were discussed, tried and are still very much enjoyed.
We all have preferences, and little foibles we might try to sneak into our repertoire, but when it involves stuff that might hurt or degrade a partner it demands a well timed discussion and the option of giving it a miss.

That is Bloody disgusting. I boked when i read your Post. Not been funny, but you really do not know what hes got either.. Not being nasty, It just turned my stomach. I cant say i have seen people spit in each others mouths in porn either.... And i have watched a lot of it. I am not sure i would be seeing the bloke again if it was me.

I disagree and think you can blame it on porn. My argument isn't that spitting, or any other sort of fetish didn't exist before porn. Clearly all sorts of "weird" practices existed long before the internet and probably before we even had the printing press. Rather that, porn normalises certain practices that would otherwise be fetish. What one considers vanilla, another may not. What one considers normal having watched hours of porn will be very different to the person who has never watched any or has had limited exposure to it. The reason this incident can be blamed on porn is because A)he admitted as much B) the fact that a niche activity which should require consent and discussion, is in his mind normal and desirable, and is therefore not up for prior negotiation.

Further to the subjective idea about what is normal, is the way in which people are now hooking up for casual sex. Of course people should discuss and probably agree limits before consenting to activity, but what time do we have in this fast paced life where everything from food to sex is fast. Is it reasonable to discuss in detail now all the possibilities from oral-anal-spitting-water sports...(if I continue the list I shall be here all day) when there are so many options. In long-term relationships and in dating someone first and getting to know them, one has all the time in world to discuss and work out the details.

So, in short I think two things are to blame, hook ups just for sex (although I have no moral opinion) and porn, neither of which have proved to be particularly liberating for women whatever the original purpose.

Yuk! I am into things that people consider extreme and shocking but even i am disgusted at spitting in someone's mouth! Yuk yuk! I dont know why they do it!

Strange that someone finds it erotic.

If the partner has had a cold or cough the spit could contain gubbings from sinuses or lungs --- yeeuchhh!

whatever you do, don't google 'snowballing' - dragon butter-esque

"yeah babe, course you can spit in my mouth....as long as I can have a shite in your kettle x"

This thread is grim. Dd is only 4 but God knows what things will be like in the world of dating and sex by the time she's out there meeting men. I want to lock her up in a convent.