To think this is not an erotic thing to do during sex?

[Lottieandmia]

Ok, I've not name changed for this because I suspected that people would think I was a troll.

Anyway, recently I slept with someone new and he spat in my mouth. Apparently he thinks this is erotic?

Personally I think it's a sad reflection of how people these days watch way too much porn. Does anyone actually like this and am I severely out of touch? I'm generally quite open about new things. But I don't think spitting in someone's mouth can do much to heighten sensation. I was left wondering just why?

There is a variety of people in the world with a variety of needs, BUT he didn't ask if it was YOUR thing, that is fucked up! What ever you want it is about respect and the further out you go the more respect is needed... Umm personally ? BERGHHHHH

name changed for this (I hope)

my ex used to do this to me and it still makes me to sad when I remember it. the computer at my mum's house had Firefox set to open at the last page you'd been on. I went to use the computer after him and a porn site came up and it was a man, imo, abusing a woman just like he done to me.

so, yeah, I blame porn.

Oh god that's VILE.

Yes, I'd have been sick I think. Literally. Especially it being the first time with someone - so they're kind of a stranger in intimate terms - oh God yes I'd have been sick.

Really don't mean to be all pwecious but could MN put a warning in the title? That is soooooo horrible, I actually feel very sick now.

Sorry, OP. He should have asked you well beforehand if you were up for this.

I worry about my young daughters and what lies ahead for them in the relationships world, I really do.

I am sorry - I really don't mean to offend anyone. I was hesitant to post it because it's not pleasant is it? But I really just wanted to see if anyone had come across this and evidently they have.

I agree Margot - I have three daughters. If I had sons I would worry too. When I was in my early 20s this sort of thing was unheard of.

You haven't offended me OP I feel quite sad for you that this guy did this. Are you OK?

Yes Sicaq, it does sound a bit precious. Do you genuinely feel physically sick from reading the words 'spat in my mouth'?

Thanks, I'll be fine - I am quite tough :) thanks for your kind words.

Ewww how disgusting. I think I'm going to be sick.

I apologise Sicaq, I guess that sounded a bit dismissive.

Lottie it is sad that it comes to this but but I think we will have to put much more work into educating our daughters about what is reasonable behaviour in a relationship, and boundaries etc, than our mothers had to do with us.

Oh god that's disgusting!

I don't know what sort of porn you watch, but I've never seen anyone spit in the other one's mouth when I've watched it OP.

Well I don't personally watch porn, but I don't this is something that happens in porn material.

I know* not I don't know.

Also, I would hope parents of sons will be putting work in to show that whatever disgusting practices they might see in porn are not the norm, and they shouldn't expect their girlfriends to go along with it.

This is now a "thing" & I thought I had been around the block a few times & was unshockable

YADNBU

When I read stuff like this, I really fear for my DD, growing up in a generation saturated by internet porn :(

That was very garbled but you get the gist. I'm getting quite angry about this!

That is one of the vilest things I have every heard. I would have thrown up all over him.

Everyone is different with what they find erotic but with all kinks and things that stray off the 'norm' it should be communicated before and consented to. I would have been sick as I can't stand to see people even spitting on the street.

That is absolutely gross, I would be revolted and probably would have hit him in response.

However, I have seen quite a lot of varied porn. I haven't seen the spitting in the mouth. I have seen spitting but not in the mouth, either as a bit of makeshift lube or in a quite different context where the man was being very abusive and aggressive to the woman anyway. If he was otherwise not treating you like that I wouldn't link it to porn more just think this was his 'thing'.

When I was younger I had absolutely no idea about some niche sexual fetishes and thought certain ones were completely unheard of. I wasn't naive at all I just hadn't encountered them and they were talked about less. Now I've since found our various people were engaging in these particular fetishes. The reason I've found out is because of the internet making them feel their particular desire is not totally unknown they are more open about it or more willing to try it with new partners (who then gossip to me).

As he apparently wants to be spat on too, I don't think it's fair to jump from this to 'woman hating' but yep it is pretty gross and bad manners not to ask first.

That's just fucking grim.

Oh Dear God.

That is truly awful.

bloody hell.

did you kick him out? must have been a shock op . did he just do it out the blue.
i am quite open minded but am struggling to conjure up a moment when this would be erotic or timely.

Yes out if the blue. Everything else he did was fine so it was a bit of a wtf moment!