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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to throw this letter in the bin about DS being called overweight and bake a cake instead

157 replies

iknowmychildbest · 27/09/2014 12:59

I cannot believe I've been sent a letter calling my 7 y/o Ds overweight and a patronising letter on health advice. Our families have always been quite big, and his dad plays rugby every week and is large but as fit as a butchers dog

OP posts:
Shannith · 27/09/2014 13:00

I think you need to look very closely and listen.

TheXxed · 27/09/2014 13:00

Is your child overweight?

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 27/09/2014 13:01

Oh yes, great idea. Ignore advice aimed to help. YABU

RoganJosh · 27/09/2014 13:02

Have they got it wrong? How do his height and weight percentiles compare?

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 27/09/2014 13:02

What's "quite big" though?

WorraLiberty · 27/09/2014 13:02

Nearly half of UK dogs are obese

I have no idea how many are owned by Butchers mind you...

noblegiraffe · 27/09/2014 13:03

They don't weigh 7 year olds at school so where did this letter come from?

DontPutMeDownForCardio · 27/09/2014 13:03

Is he overweight? If so you're an idiot if you throw the letter away without addressing the issues.

WorraLiberty · 27/09/2014 13:05

Exactly noble Wink

They weigh in Reception and year 6

Smilesandpiles · 27/09/2014 13:05

If they are telling you your son is overweight, then he probably is.

It doesn't matter what his dad plays or looks like, that's irrlevent. If your families have always been big, then that suggests that your family has a weight problem and need to look into it. It's just looks normal to you because you can't see it. He's a child so doesn't play rugby every week or does anything to warrent that kind of size...he's overweight, it's there in black and white.

Check it yourself if you don't agree with it with a tape measure, scales and a BMI chart, or get a doctors second opinion (you won't like it).

gordyslovesheep · 27/09/2014 13:08

meh - it depends if he is overweight or not ...I am sensing a theme today Hmm

meditrina · 27/09/2014 13:12

Who weighed him?

He's not the right age for the NHS national paediatric survey (the one done in schools). So has he triggered concern elsewhere.

The height/weight/health status of parents may influence all sorts of things about a family, but one thing it doesn't do is give an assurance that other family members must fall within 'normal' because some do.

HermioneWeasley · 27/09/2014 13:12

You can be overweight and fit

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/09/2014 13:14

Our families have always been quite big, and his dad plays rugby every week and is large but as fit as a butchers dog

The letter isn't about his dad is it?

BlueBrightBlue · 27/09/2014 13:17

There is a child at my dc's school who is very overweight. The mother is in denial and says her child is normal and she thinks half the kids in this school are underweight.
The mother say's she allows her dc a small treat after school because if she didn't they would pester for treats when they get home.
A large candy bar is not what I call a "treat" for a 7 year old, it would make me sick to eat it.
She attends an after school club and I've seen her demolish 2 large muffins, crisps as well as sweeties after her class the go home for dinner.
She isn't buying the food is she? I think it is so cruel to put this kid's health at risk.

ExpiredUserName · 27/09/2014 13:20

hmm, not sure about this thread. Assuming it's not just been started for entertainment purposes Wink I would say the fact your families are big and that your husband is big but fit is totally irrelevant.

if you son is overweight (or stocky, or big boned or whatever you want to call it) then I hope you will do something about it.

Allisgood1 · 27/09/2014 13:23

YABU. And if you carry on making excuses for size then he will end up obese.

Sirzy · 27/09/2014 13:26

I thought the same about why a 7 year old was measured.

But in the grander scheme of things so many parents are quick to bury their heads in the sand rather than using the letters from school in r and y6 and a chance to step back and look at the diet and fitness and what changes can be made to stop the child having a problem later in life

TheFairyCaravan · 27/09/2014 13:26

So many people haven't got a clue about what is a healthy weight anymore.

formerbabe · 27/09/2014 13:28

You don't have to be huge to be obese as odd as that sounds.

I'm a size 14 and technically obese on their charts.

ashtrayheart · 27/09/2014 13:31

There's plenty of research which shows parental denial when their children are identified as overweight.

WorraLiberty · 27/09/2014 13:32

That means nothing without adding your height formerbabe

If for example someone is 5ft and a size 14, it's quite likely they are huge.

If they're 5ft 6 then not so much.

bronya · 27/09/2014 13:32

As a rule, you should be able to see the ribs of ANY young mammal - humans are no exception. You should also be able to feel them easily when they've got a T shirt on, and to see them when they're not wearing one at all. Not sticking out and prominent, but visible. They should also be in appropriately sized clothes - not with long arms/legs because you've had to go up a size for the waist.

There's an interesting (but old!) article here: www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12226744

Some children are heavier than you'd think because they have lots of muscle etc - those children play a lot of sport and still fit the above criteria well.

WorraLiberty · 27/09/2014 13:34

If a child is getting enough exercise, they will not be overweight.

I went to my DC's year 6 football tournament a few months ago.

120 kids and not a single one of them was overweight and given the amount of training they do, I'm not surprised.

It's exactly the same with the netball and gymnastics teams.

Obviously it's no indication of a healthy diet, but enough exercise means they're burning off excess fat.

formerbabe · 27/09/2014 13:36

5'4" just!'...I am overweight but looking at my jeans I'm wearing now, they are a stretchy 12! I also exercise every day including swimming/gym/classes. When people use the term obese, we tend to imagine huge people waddling along...I'm just making the point that I am physically fit and look 'normal' iyswim.