To leave our DCs in our house while we go next door for dinner?

[Tapewormuprising]

Our neighbours have invited us for dinner next week and i was wondering what people's thoughts were on this.

We live in a semi-detached house on a quiet road. Our DCs are 8 and 15 months. 8 year old will be in bed reading and will fall asleep at about 8.30 and our 15 month old will be asleep with a baby monitor (we will be able to get signal next door. There is also a movement sensor). We'll be one room away really.

So, will we be awful parents if we leave them?

Personally I think it's fine but who knows what MN crowd will say.

As long as the 8 yr old is happy with it, and the baby monitor is on and tested, then I would (and have) done it.

Look at it this way - some houses are bigger from one end to the other than one semi-detached to another.

We used to do exactly the same thing: we would eat away listening to the DC snoring on the monitor in the middle of our neighbours' table, and they would do the same when they came to us.

It used to bother me a little, until I realised that my SIL, in her vast house, was far further away from her DCs' bedrooms when she was working in her home office.

I suspect we may both be in the sights of a few flamethrowers, though.

I wouldn't, but then I can be overly cautious about things, so not sure if that will be the general consensus. I wouldn't be able to relax.

Hah - xposted!

I wouldn't. I'm a bit paranoid about house fires.

If the monitor worked then I would, as I agree it would be the same as being in a very big house.

I think there's a difference between two rooms in one house (however vast) and two houses.

There's a locked door in between you, for starters (you will presumably be locking your children in the house).

It's tricky, I would consider but probably wouldn't do it, who's to say 8 year old won't get up and wander round / get into trouble. Worst possible case scenario a house fire starts and you unable to re enter house, bit dramatic sorry.

We can hear each other's fire alarms from next door! I agree that is probably the main risk, but it's probably the same distance to the children's bedrooms in our house as it is next door.

I wouldn't , you may be able to hear them over a monitor but you can't see fire or a ill child. I think 8 is still a bit young to be left.

Why not have your neighbours over to yours?

I wouldn't do this.

I would and did. Though I suspect a large number will be along shortly warning about aliens/explosions/tornadoes *

• delete accordingly

I wouldn't.

It's just something about being in a seperate house that completely puts me off.

Yes, it's fine. Pop back to check every so often.

I wouldn't because like another poster said I wouldn't be able to relax. I think it's different from rooms in a big house but that's just my opinion

Do you and your DH take turns keeping watch at night, Nulliferous? Because surely a fire could go undetected if you were all asleep.

OP, I think this is okay, particularly if your 8yo knows how to contact you, either by phone, or by speaking into the baby monitor.

Although I would try and organise a babysitter first.

I have no problem with it at all if i'm honest. I'm just a bit worried about our neighbours judging us! They're doctors and i'd rather they didn't report me to SS :) My parents used to do it and we never had any problems.

I can see that there IS a risk, but we really are as close as we would be in our own house.

It's very interesting that people have such definite views on it!

Oh, 8yo would be totally fine with it. He's sensible and as you say, he could come and chat to us over the monitor if there were problems.

I wouldnt. Id ask them over.

What if they ask who is babysitting?

Marne2 how do you "hear" an ill child if you are sat downstairs in your living room you be even less aware if you were sat downstairs without a monitor than you would if you were listening in on a monitor next door.

I wouldn't. a different house is different to a different room in the same house. after all, you wouldn't lock your children in their rooms overnight would you? so locking them in the house alone is essentially no different to that. if there was a fire (and I am not of the paranoid persuasion) they would be locked in the house and they would both be unable to get out and you would be unable to get in to get them out. Not the same as being in the same house at all.

Ask yourself this: if it was a restaurant or a pub next door would you still feel comfortable going there and leaving the kids next door?

It's all about how comfortable you feel with the situation. With regard to the possibility of a fire, I assume you have smoke detectors in the house, so these would be triggered at the first hint of smoke - ours usually are when I'm cooking sausages.

Despite having the baby monitor, I personally wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the 15 month old. At least I don't think I would be. Perhaps if I actually was in your shoes I might feel different, which is why it's all down to you and all you're doing right now is finding out what other people might or might not do in their own environment.

I think if you and the 8 year old are happy with it it is probably fine. If you are going to spend all night worrying about what the neighbours are thinking though, maybe its not such a good idea. How hard would it be to get a babysitter? If it is easy, then I would probably do that, just so you can relax and enjoy your evening.