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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave our DCs in our house while we go next door for dinner?

321 replies

Tapewormuprising · 22/09/2014 12:58

Our neighbours have invited us for dinner next week and i was wondering what people's thoughts were on this.

We live in a semi-detached house on a quiet road. Our DCs are 8 and 15 months. 8 year old will be in bed reading and will fall asleep at about 8.30 and our 15 month old will be asleep with a baby monitor (we will be able to get signal next door. There is also a movement sensor). We'll be one room away really.

So, will we be awful parents if we leave them?

OP posts:
Explored · 22/09/2014 13:27

I don't know.

It sounds perfectly reasonable - I would go into the garden on a summer's eve while DC slept but I agree it's that locked door.

When the house is locked up at night, everyone's on the same side of the locked door.

Viviennemary · 22/09/2014 13:28

No I don't think it would be fine. If there was an intruder you would be unaware. Not a good idea at all. You are going to a different house. The children would not be in the same house as you. Very wrong. IMHO.

Johnogroats · 22/09/2014 13:29

I used to do this, and our neighbours did too. We would pop back home to check all was ok every now and then. If your 8yo is sensible I would have no qualms, but your decision. Fwiw we never had any issues.

happyyonisleepyyoni · 22/09/2014 13:30

I'd be more worried about the 8 year old than the 15 month old (unless the 15 month old learns to climb out of the cot.)

the 8 year old could feel ill/decide to help him/herself to the contents of the medicine cabinet/go for a walk down the road. if you were at home downstairs, you would likely hear him/her moving around or come downstairs but not if you are next door, even if houses joined.

MummyPig24 · 22/09/2014 13:32

I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. I'm not saying it's the wrong thing to do but I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself.

TrisisFour · 22/09/2014 13:33

I would yes. But I would take some basic precautions.

-Make sure all downstairs internal doors are shut (and windows)
-Test all smoke detectors at some point before you go out
-Check every hour or so (as long as it's not going to disturb the children more if they're already asleep)

And I think if you can get hold of a second baby monitor (maybe borrow your neighbours') and set one up downstairs somewhere (bottom of the stairs or in the downstairs hallway) so you will pick up any strange noises downstairs that may need investigating.

aprilanne · 22/09/2014 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

irishe · 22/09/2014 13:37

I think this is ok, but do accept there is an element of risk. For example, I sat with my neighbour in her garden this summer whilst my 2 year old had an afternoon nap, I had the baby monitor with me and could hear her sleepy noises. Same neighbour then had a birthday party, and we pondered whether to do the same but decided against as thought with more people we would not be certain to hear the monitor.

Fwiw I would not judge you, but I am the type to pop into corner shops or pay petrol and leave child in car, if I can still see the car, which I know from previous threads is a big no no for some.

TwinkleDust · 22/09/2014 13:38

I'd be concerned about the older child. I remember my parents doing this to me and waking up frightened due to a nightmare, and finding myself completely on my own in the house. Will you tell your child what you are doing?

AnyFucker · 22/09/2014 13:39

I would judge you if you did that, sorry

Never in a million years would I leave children that young alone in a locked house.

APotNoodleandaTommy · 22/09/2014 13:41

The only person I know who's done this is a doctor Hmm

On an intellectual level I can see that it's probably ok. But I just couldn't, sorry OP

AnyFucker · 22/09/2014 13:44

Some other doctors we are all (unfortunately) aware of paid very dearly indeed for making a similar decision.

NellysKnickers · 22/09/2014 13:44

Nope. No way would I be able to relax. It doesn't seem safe.

KERALA1 · 22/09/2014 13:45

We put ours to bed at neighbours then bundle them home when we leave. But have two little "good" girls who go to bed without fuss and seem ok being moved around midnight. Not a regular thing but have done about 3 times over last 2 years

cogitosum · 22/09/2014 13:49

I wouldn't with ds 14 months. Not necessarily anything logical but would feel wrong.

For those drawing parallels to McCanns though it was completely different. They weren't next door they were a 5-10 minutes walk away and could just see one side of the apartment which is on a fairly main road on one side. The apartment was not even in the complex where they were.

AnyFucker · 22/09/2014 13:50

Of course there are parallels. Should we not learn lessons from that case ?

whataloadofoldshit · 22/09/2014 13:51

I can see why you're tempted duck but I wouldn't risk it.

everydayaschoolday · 22/09/2014 13:54

I wouldn't. I'd get a trusted teenager to babysit.

fifi669 · 22/09/2014 13:58

I wouldn't bat an eyelid if you did it.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 22/09/2014 14:01

Absolutely no way. For starters, I wouldn't be able to relax at all, which would negate the enjoyment of going out, and that would be reason enough.

FantasticMax · 22/09/2014 14:01

I wouldn't do it - I would either invite the neighbours round to mine or pay a babysitter.

ThatBloodyWoman · 22/09/2014 14:03

Absolutely no way.

ThatBloodyWoman · 22/09/2014 14:04

Meant to say yabu.

Ebayaholic · 22/09/2014 14:04

I would do this but I'd use FaceTime from an ipad to my iphone and maintain visual contact.

sticklebrickstickle · 22/09/2014 14:09

I think I would be happier with the 8-year-old at home alone with the baby monitor in his/her room so you could hear them and then if possible I'd have the 15-month-old asleep upstairs in the neighbour's house in a travel cot or even buggy. our 8-year-old could be talked through what to do in an emergency such as a fire, for example finding a safe route or shutting the bedroom door, moving to the window and waiting for the fire brigade. I wouldn't expect an eight year old to be able to assist a 15-month-old if necessary and I don't think I would be happy to have a 15-month-old at home without an adult.

That said the risk is probably small and you know the layout of your house and your neighbour's house, and how easily you could get home in an emergency, so you are in a better position to judge whether it is safe. I can see there might be some circumstances or house layouts where this might be okay.