To leave our DCs in our house while we go next door for dinner?

[Tapewormuprising]

Our neighbours have invited us for dinner next week and i was wondering what people's thoughts were on this.

We live in a semi-detached house on a quiet road. Our DCs are 8 and 15 months. 8 year old will be in bed reading and will fall asleep at about 8.30 and our 15 month old will be asleep with a baby monitor (we will be able to get signal next door. There is also a movement sensor). We'll be one room away really.

So, will we be awful parents if we leave them?

In those circumstances I'd say it would be fine.

Particularly given you get a signal from the baby monitor - this is the main thing, because its almost like being in the same house from a distance point of view. If your fire alarms work you'd hear that. Nothing stopping you popping back every 20 minutes or so.

I wouldn't do this.

I think the police and SS would take a dim view too.

I wouldn't leave two young kids alone in a house even if I was just going to a neighbour. With regard to fires, we had a fire check done to our house and the firefighters said that young children often hide when there is a fire and they have to check cupboards and wardrobes to find them. They said if there is a fire and you go to get your kids and find an empty bed, don't assume that they have made their way out.

No way, a fire can sweep through the entire downstairs of a house before you'd have the door open and there's always the possibility of an intruder(s) breaking in. Just because something is unlikely to happen doesn't mean that it won't. It's the responsibility of the parents to ensure that if the worst does happen that either they or someone old enough, responsible and capable is there to deal with it. An eight year old is none of those things however mature and sensible they may be for their age and shouldn't be placed in that position.

Get a babysitter. Your kids are worth it.

No because of fire. I am not too stingy to pay a babysitter.

I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't be able to relax. I would have the neighbours to yours or get a babysitter.

PP is right. at an educated guess by professionals, the fire started at 19;40 at approx 8:05 I was out of there and the kitchen collapsed behind me within 10-12 seconds of me clearing the back door. two children nearly died. social services do look dimly on it. I was under investigation (later left at 13 to go back to my mothers for different reasons) and I HAVE NEVER seen my baby brother since he was taken by police to be reunited with his mother(different mothers) . She put a stop to contact with my father and that meant no contact with me also. the judge granted her right to do that because of the housefire and my fathers lack of supervision.

How could you relax knowing your kids are home alone?

Ask th local fire prevention officer what they think. Then make a decision. Smoke can kill in just a few minutes.

This post might sound silly but the thing that 1st occurred to me about the MM case & why I thought they were very reckless was not fearing abduction but what if MM woke up & decided to play mummy (as children love to copy parents) got twins out of their cot dropped them or tried to bath them like mummy does etc.. If in a self catering app their would have been knives etc..

So for this reason I don't think if relax just going by the baby monitor .. My dc's have got up to the most mischief when completely quiet.

Accidents happen so fast & even checking every 15 mins so much can happen in that time.

I also agree that ss would take a dim view of it too.

Jeez Louise op is a childminder wanting to leave a toddler and 8 year old home alone.

Only now do I know where my little brother is, 90 miles away. I havent spoken to my father in 2 years. And only now might I be able to see him again at discretion of his mother who admittedly is more than grateful that i saved his life. I understand separation obviously isnt an issue with yours, But do you really want to face intensive questioning by police and social services and possibly lose them to the system when you could just pay 20 quid for a babysitter for a few hours. Even if a pipe bursts, a piece of ceiling randomly falls down, your 8yr old falls down the stairs getting a drink, scolds himself on the hot water tap if he wants water but uses the wrong tap, drops his glass and cuts himself getting glass out of his clothes or off the floor or stands on it and cuts his feet up all of these could warrant medical care and a referral to social services or worse (in cases of falling down the stairs-breaking neck- fire) death of your child/children, get a baby sitter please.

I remember watching a tv programme about troubled children. One little boy had been in a house that burned down and his little brother was killed. Parents weren't in the house at the time and he blamed himself. He was taken into care and ended up in a unit for very traumatised children.

But if there was a fire, you would hear the smoke alarm on the monitor. I doubt you will be any more likely to save them from a fire by being downstairs in the house than you would if you were next door. And what about people who have huge detached houses? their dc would be further away in their rooms than you would by being next door in a small semi.

At 6 years old my sister attempted to roll a fag with my dad's tobacco & papers & light it... Never underestimate a child's imagination & curiosity!!

Why are some people choosing to ignore the fact that the OP is using a monitor to listen to the children?

If a neighbour reported you to SS or the police you would be in big trouble.

what if the firealarm didnt go off? What if it was faulty, out of power etc? mine didnt go off and the only warning I had was the smoke coming through my window (kitchen was directly below me also had one window open and i slept with mine open). its not far fetched this was just 3 years ago and in the same world you live in!

because you cant hear smoke!!! would op like the only indication she has to be smoke flying from her house next door where it may well be too late! fire alarms dont always bloody go off and youve no way of knowing if they will glitch the very same day and not go off or if the batteries are full!!
not to mention the risks i mentioned earlier!

If your 1 year olds bedroom door was shut would you hear it if your 8 year old spilt water on the kitchen floor and cracked his head open, 1-2 floors below, unconscious, bleeding out would your monitor tell you that too? Holy fuck im 15 with no gcse's and I still know the risks of such things! yes unlikely, still possible and it could happen!

But with a baby monitor & people talking eating etc.. You would hear a baby crying yes but would you hear 8 year old up & about... My dd is almost 12 & ds 2.5 & I think I'd do it now but not when dd was 8 or even 10!!

No chance, although I can see it is tempting. Why not have them to yours? They could even cook at there's and bring it over. Social services, police and fire service would not approve of this for very good reasons. Isn't this a bit like mm all over again?

If anyone would like to bring a crystal ball to the party and tell me they know 100% That their child would be fine 100% left alone only being checked on for a few minutes at 15 minute intervals (when it takes a child maybe 3 minutes to fall and people can bleed out in seconds) then i will bend over and eat myself from my feet up because you can never know for sure and I wouldnt take that risk with a child.

Intruders, fires...seriously I don't know how people sleep at night with this level of paranoia. I mean those things do happen but really, what are the risks?

I'd be more worried about the 15 month old climbing out of the cot or something and having an accident which seems possible, but then is it really more likely to happen if you were next door, and with a monitor you will probably be listening even more intently.

I often think people are more worried about what others think of their parenting than thinking sensibly of actual risks and this thread bears it out. What would people say if Something Happened?