To leave our DCs in our house while we go next door for dinner?

[Tapewormuprising]

Our neighbours have invited us for dinner next week and i was wondering what people's thoughts were on this.

We live in a semi-detached house on a quiet road. Our DCs are 8 and 15 months. 8 year old will be in bed reading and will fall asleep at about 8.30 and our 15 month old will be asleep with a baby monitor (we will be able to get signal next door. There is also a movement sensor). We'll be one room away really.

So, will we be awful parents if we leave them?

I'm not entirely sure why it's different from being in a big house but it is. Same with a large house converted into flats.

I wouldn't do it and I'm usually one of the more laid back posters.

I'd never leave the kids alone while I went to the neighbours for dinner. As PPs have said the (two) locked doors are the problem. My Mum is involved in child protection. She advises to not leave a child under 16 at home alone because if something were to happen you'd have to be investigated for neglect. An 8 year old and 1 year old are far too young to be left alone.

And if you think you have enough time to get into the house if there is a fire I suggest you search youtube for the video of the Station nightclub fire - WARNING it is very distressing and potentially triggering. It only takes minutes.

I think you would be mad! Just invite neighbours to yours or take the children with you. If something happened you would never forgive yourself and rightly so.

I also would never use a childminder who thought this appropriate.

No way on earth would I do this.

Never mind debating what's legal or what scenarios social workers would take action on. Leaving two young children at home alone so you can go out and enjoy yourself is wrong. Even if it is next door. You are prepared to take that sort of risk with your children just for a meal?

Your babysitters are unavailable so either they come round to yours instead or you rearrange, what's so hard about that? Yes I'm hoiking my judgey pants right up. I don't care.

How would you know what your childminder does in the evenings, in her own time with her own family? I wouldn't have known what either of my childminders' babysitting arrangements were for their own children. And that's okay I think.

I would judge you for doing this.

As the host I wouldn't be able to relax either, I'd be worrying about your children.

So if it takes minutes, being in the house with them wouldn't save them, but you could die with them at least.

There is an assumption from some that if a fire should start then they could still gain access to the house. How can you know where the fire will start or how far it would have spread before you hear an alarm?

I had a baby monitor with an intermittent fault. I didn't realise until I paused a film and heard the baby screaming the house down. I always check the children anyway but they could have been crying for half an hour for all I know. Baby monitors are hardly reliable.

I know this isn't all about fires but I read that a high percentage of children will actually sleep through a smoke alarm. So even if they do wake-it might not be straight away.

For me, it can be summed up by the fact you checked to see if your usual babysitters were available. Why call them initially if you thought they would be perfectly fine alone?! You know they need someone actively responsible for them.

I think it's very cruel to leave the 8 year old responsible for their self and their sibling. Even adults don't know how they will react to an emergency until it happens so there's no way you can assume your child will be able to deal with things calmly because he's sensible. That in no way relates to how he would cope under extreme stress.

I wouldn't do this but couldn't put my finger on why, comfy and others have helped

It isnt the same as being in another room of your own home. Houses are usually soundproofed. If you hear nothing in the monitor you'd be worried. I'm your own home you'd hear enough without the monitor to know if it's working or not.eg one of us nips it the toilet every hour or so we hear enough to 'validate' the monitor. Not the case here.

It's another house. Getting to your children would involve walking out of one front door (having found and put on shoes - people on mn are precious about socks) round and in through another, presumably locked door, then to the actual room. I don't believe houses are really set up where all that could happen quicker than I could nip upstairs now.

Only just seen you're a childminder!!!

Bloody hell

Do you leave other people's children alone in the house whilst you socialise with the neighbours? Or are they more important than your own and you wouldn't want yo risk anything happening to them??

The more I think about this the more I can't believe the OP is actually thinking it's ok to just leave them.

No, honestly, I wouldn't do it.

Before I read the above I thought it was an all right idea - now I think your the worst parent in the world for considering it and I'm not far behind you for entertaining it!

I am also testing the fire alarms before I go to bed!

Wonder if op has made. A decision

Even a sensible and mature 8 year old is too young to be left in charge of a baby, imo. It really isn't worth taking any risk for the sake of a dinner party.

I don't know about anyone else but I am suddenly very fearful of mobile phone chargers!!! They seem to be a common cause of house fires.

OP, the fact you started a thread shows that you weren't 100% sold on the decision and I agree with majority I'm afraid..... It just wouldn't be worth the risk for me (and I'd lose any enjoyment factor whatsoever as I'd be so worried)

Taking a monitor / watching on an iPad is all well and good but you'd be so distracted? You would be hushing people. Similarly popping home would disrupt your evening.

I would either rearrange when you have a babysitter, have them over to you or take the kids?

I know someone whose dishwasher malfunctioned and burned their house down. The home is actually one of the most dangerous places to be.

My feeling is no. I might begin to consider it with the baby but with an 8 year old no. If nothing else, I would be afraid they'd go back into school telling everyone they'd been left alone.

I would not do that! If you asked Madeleine McCann's parents that same question, what do you think their reply would be??