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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am not too skinny?

247 replies

WhatALovelySingingVoice · 21/09/2014 20:16

I used to be quite overweight - at my heaviest I was around 13 stone at 5'2 but over the last year I've been trying really hard to lose weight and I'm now 9 stone.

I really don't think 9 stone at 5'2 is anywhere near too skinny but ever since I've reached this weight a couple of months ago I've been getting comments non-stop about how "skinny" I am.

Last week both my mum and my sister pulled me aside to tell me they were very concerned as I am "wasting away" and they really think I should say a doctor as it's not healthy being "this thin". Then later on that day my sister sent me an e-mail with links to various websites with information about eating disorders, anorexia and the health risks of being underweight with a message saying I really should get checked out Confused. Then yesterday my mum gave me a huge half hour lecture about being too skinny and went on about a TV show she'd seen about people who were too skinny and the effects on their health it was having Confused.

I've also had other comments from other people about how they think I've lost a bit too much, how I looked better this time last year, etc.

But really...I'm not too skinny am I?

Am I being unreasonable or are they?

OP posts:
ithoughtofitfirst · 21/09/2014 20:40

Someone else said it... you can't win!

Hurr1cane · 21/09/2014 20:40

I'm 5"8 and 9.5 - 10 stone depending on how greedy I've been, I feel quite big. I like to be 9 stone.

itsbetterthanabox · 21/09/2014 20:42

They shouldn't comment on your body. But they may be genuinely concerned if you lost it very quickly and appear to be continuing to and because you will look very thin in comparison to how you looked very recently. So appear thinner than you are.
They aren't jealous Hmm that's such a sad, misogynistic thing to say.

itsbetterthanabox · 21/09/2014 20:43

Hurr1cane do you have a point?

Mmeh · 21/09/2014 20:44

Sounds like jealousy or maybe they have a skewed view of the difference between healthy and skinny. I'm nine stone and am 5'9". I think I must have small bones because I look perfectly healthy at my shape. Slim certainly but not skinny.

AnyFucker · 21/09/2014 20:46

You sound a healthy weight to me. If you can hand on heart say you have achieved it without resorting to unhealthy weight loss tactics then stuff them.

XiCi · 21/09/2014 20:48

They are jealous, probably your healthy weight is making them feel bad about themselves so they would rather you were back the way you were. Like there are always some arseholes who offer you fags when you are trying to give up, or a drink when you are cutting down on alcohol. Don't listen to them.

TooSpotty · 21/09/2014 20:50

Well done on your weight loss. I've also lost about four stone over the last year. I'm still BMI 25 and weigh almost 11 stone but have had people stop telling me to lose weight, which I find very funny as I have another stone and a half to lose to get to a really healthy BMI (I have a very small frame). I think it may be a combination of them being used to me being much bigger, the fact that my face and neckline are much thinner than my body, and that I'm also too broke at the moment to buy new clothes so I'm swimming in most things I wear!

WorraLiberty · 21/09/2014 20:51

They're probably just used to seeing the bigger you, so in comparison they think you're skinny.

I remember picking up a magazine in the hairdressers and seeing a fat woman on the front. Inside was a story about how she'd lost 10 stone. In the 'before' pic she obviously looked huge.

So when you think about it, because I'd never seen this woman before in my life, I saw a fat woman on the front cover, but anyone who had known her before she lost the 10 stone, would probably have seen her as skinny now if that makes sense?

Just ignore them because their vision is skewed. Well done on your weight loss Thanks

gentlehoney · 21/09/2014 20:53

gobbynorthernbird,.... yes you are right, sorry. I should put my glasses on. I read it as "eighteen stone" rather than thirteen, which would have been dramatic.
The weight loss was actually steady and healthy,thank goodness, so well done OP!

Rusticated · 21/09/2014 20:53

I've lost three stone recently, after being overweight for a long time (after a course of antidepressants that made me balloon), and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that a minority of people preferred me fat, for their own reasons. I am nowhere near underweight - I'll be continuing to lose, as my BMI is still in the 'overweight' category - but you'd think I looked like an old-fashioned famine appeal poster to hear some people.

Jewels234 · 21/09/2014 20:54

Awesome weight loss....I have gone from 13 to 9.5, and at 5 foot 4, and a size 10 really not underweight in the slightest. I get this constantly though so really feel your pain.

Could it be because this is the first time that it has become really noticeable for them, so the difference is a shock?

I would just point out your dress size, BMI etc. I could technically lose another 2 stone before I would be considered underweight!

snapple · 21/09/2014 20:54

Can I ask how you lost weight as I am interested in hoe you did it over that short period of time?

I have only lost lots of weight when breastfeeding and exercising.

Original poster
WhatALovelySingingVoice · 21/09/2014 20:55

gentlehoney is it really an awful lot to lose in 10 months Confused? I haven't really thought about it before but I have just done a quick calculation (and I admit maths isn't always my strong point) and it works out that I lost 1.4 pounds a week and I thought you could lose up to 2 pounds a week safely. I've never thought about how much weight I lost a week though - I only weighed myself once a month usually.

I also wouldn't say that my health was being effected in a bad way by my weight loss. When I was overweight I really was in awful health - I'm not kidding when I say pretty much lived off McDonald's chicken nuggets, takeaway pizzas and burgers, crisps and chocolate. I also had terrible hair and skin, my back hurt and I had aching feet and joints and no energy.

Yet now I have loads more energy, my feet, joints and back don't hurt any more and my skin has cleared up. Those are all good things surely? Hmm

I would say my diet is also much better now and I have a much healthier attitude to food. I would say I eat a mostly healthy balanced diet but don't deprive myself and if I fancy a bar of chocolate or a cake then I will have some - they're just not part of my daily diet like they used to be. I also haven't cut any food out of my diet, it's just there are things I eat more of, others I eat less of.

Yet when my nosy mother had a rummage through my fridge the other day after I'd been shopping she told me that my fridge was full of "crap" and she pulled out some chicken breast and some kale and told me this was why I am "wasting away". She then went a rummaged through my cupboards and started picking apart that as well...Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatALovelySingingVoice · 21/09/2014 20:56

x post sorry.

OP posts:
Liara · 21/09/2014 20:57

Was your mother very enabling when you were overweight and in poor health?

taxi4ballet · 21/09/2014 20:58

Funny, isn't it? People would never dream of saying "My God, you have put on a lot of weight, haven't you? Perhaps you'd better stop eating so much" and then going on and on about how unhealthy it is to be too fat and buying you scales/diet books etc. It would be considered horribly rude and insulting.

So why do people seem to think it is fine to tell someone they are "skinny" or a bit too thin?

augustusglupe · 21/09/2014 20:58

They're jealous and conditioned that slim is 'thin' nowadays. I posted on a similar thread the other day. I'm 5ft 9 and 9 and a half stone ish!! Slim but nowhere near skinny and the comments I get are unbelievable!! Mainly off overweight women! Well done OP I bet you look fantastic!

Original poster
WhatALovelySingingVoice · 21/09/2014 20:58

I've been overweight most of my life (until now obviously). If I'm honest my mum and sister are both overweight too, but don't know how that would matter.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatALovelySingingVoice · 21/09/2014 20:59

I also don't want to lose any more weight (hence why I haven't lost any in a few months).

OP posts:
minibmw2010 · 21/09/2014 21:00

Sounds like you realised you were eating lots of shit and now you're eating healthily. What kind of things does your mother eat and what size is she?

areyoubeingserviced · 21/09/2014 21:01

I have previously lost weight through stress.
Friends and family members said that i was too skinny . I just assumed that they were jealous .
That is until I saw a photo of myself
I looked extremely gaunt as I had lost weight on my face.
Don't always assume that people are jealous

calla23 · 21/09/2014 21:01

If you "look" too thin, you are too thin.

Don't agree! I'm taller than the OP and weigh 9 stone. Some people think I'm too thin, others don't. Who's right? Don't think you can make a decision based on looking at someone.

augustusglupe · 21/09/2014 21:01

And meant to say feeling fantastic!! which is the most important thing!! SmileFlowers

gentlehoney · 21/09/2014 21:02

Whatalovelysingingvoice.., yes you are right. I apologise profusely. I read "13" as "18" because I couldnt be bothered putting my glasses on.

I am delighted to hear about your weight loss, and it sounds as if you have a really healthy attitude to food, and this is the ideal way to lose weight. I hope you can reassure your mother that there is nothing to worry about.
You should be really proud of yourself.