Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am not too skinny?

247 replies

WhatALovelySingingVoice · 21/09/2014 20:16

I used to be quite overweight - at my heaviest I was around 13 stone at 5'2 but over the last year I've been trying really hard to lose weight and I'm now 9 stone.

I really don't think 9 stone at 5'2 is anywhere near too skinny but ever since I've reached this weight a couple of months ago I've been getting comments non-stop about how "skinny" I am.

Last week both my mum and my sister pulled me aside to tell me they were very concerned as I am "wasting away" and they really think I should say a doctor as it's not healthy being "this thin". Then later on that day my sister sent me an e-mail with links to various websites with information about eating disorders, anorexia and the health risks of being underweight with a message saying I really should get checked out Confused. Then yesterday my mum gave me a huge half hour lecture about being too skinny and went on about a TV show she'd seen about people who were too skinny and the effects on their health it was having Confused.

I've also had other comments from other people about how they think I've lost a bit too much, how I looked better this time last year, etc.

But really...I'm not too skinny am I?

Am I being unreasonable or are they?

OP posts:
Catnuzzle · 21/09/2014 20:20

They are jealous of your success. Well done. Keep it up (and off)! Grin

shellistar · 21/09/2014 20:21

If you've always been overweight then I can see why the change is so different to them but you have a really healthy BMI so I'd tell them to mind their own business!

elportodelgato · 21/09/2014 20:22

Hi, I am around your height at 5'4 and I am at my healthiest and happiest when just under 9 stone. I am by no means anorexic, I try to eat well and exercise as much as I can bear it, but I am also a fan of takeaways, cake and wine. I am pretty sure if you put your stats into a BMI calculator you'd find yourself slightly on the lower end of 'healthy'.

It sounds to me like your family might be a teeny bit jealous of how awesome you are looking and seeking to put you back into the 'overweight' box where they think you belong, does that sound possible? I am quite suspicious of faux concern in these circumstances...

PseudoBadger · 21/09/2014 20:22

That's funny OP, I'm the same height as you and as soon as I get below 10 stone (so only just normal bmi) people tell me not to lose more as I'll be too thin! I'd like to be 9, currently sitting at 10.

loudarts · 21/09/2014 20:23

I am 5'2" and at 9st a size 8-10 so nowhere near too skinny

PhallicGiraffe · 21/09/2014 20:23

Isn't that a BMI of 23, which is the higher end of a healthy weight? Not underweight by any means.

CleanLinesSharpEdges · 21/09/2014 20:24

Amazing weight loss - congratulations!

Some people can be really funny, it can take them a while for their brain to catch up to get used to seeing your new shape and size. Then you get those with a touch of the green eyed monster.

Fwiw I'm same height as you and just a pound or two under 8 stone, I'm size 8 and I really don't look thin at all.

Donteatthekidssweets · 21/09/2014 20:25

Well done, sounds like you've done it sensibly. Not too skinny unless a size ten is skinny, I'm a little taller but am a ten at this weight (and currently trying hard to get back to it!)

Greenandcabbagelooking · 21/09/2014 20:25

I think that because so many people are overweight/obese, anyone who is normal weight looks too skinny. I have this problem a lot, as I am 5 feet 7 and 8 st 11. Not underweight, but certainly the lower end of normal.

Well done of the weight loss.

MollyBdenum · 21/09/2014 20:27

From the description of your weight and height it sounds as though you have a perfectly healthy BMI and are not too skinny, but if several different people are worried, it might be worth asking why. Have you lost a lot of your weight in a very short space of time, or restricted your calories severely, or are you using all your calories on unhealthy foods? If so, then maybe they have a point, but if not, then it's probably just the big difference between how you look now and how they still picture you.

LoveBeingAwakeInTheNight · 21/09/2014 20:28

They are not

LoveBeingAwakeInTheNight · 21/09/2014 20:28

Opps, not used to how you look. Do you think they are really concerned?

Liara · 21/09/2014 20:28

I am taller than you and under 8.5 stone and I am perfectly healthy.

Are your mother and sister overweight? It could be that they have a very distorted view of what 'normal' is and that you are currently challenging it.

In that case their comments say more about their own body image than they do about you.

Congratulations on your weight loss, btw. That is an awesome amount of weight to lose and your health will be much better for it.

Asteria · 21/09/2014 20:29

You will never win! Women's bodies are not their own! We are objects to criticise and ridicule constantly - even by other women! If you are happy and feel fit and healthy then that is all that matters. YANBU - it sounds like they are perhaps projecting their own insecurities onto your recent weight loss.

LadyLuck81 · 21/09/2014 20:31

I'm 5' 6' and vary between 8 1/2 stone and 9 stone and I'm in my healthy weight range. If sounds horribly like jealousy that you've done so well to me. Congratulations.

ithoughtofitfirst · 21/09/2014 20:31

Is it your clothes OP? as in have you invested in smaller sizes since losing weight? because if i dress in baggy stuff people tell me i'm skinny but i look more shapely in fitted stuff and have a massive ghetto booty and people tend not really comment then. I'm 5'5 and usually around the 9-10 stone mark.

Well done though, if you think you look goooood FACK EM

DanyStormborn · 21/09/2014 20:32

That is a perfectly healthy weight for your height. I had this when I lost weight with Slimming World. I still had a very healthy BMI of 20.0 (down to 18.5 is considered healthy by the NHS) but people who had previously complimented me started getting me down by saying I was too thin even when they say me eating regularly! It's possible they are jealous.

gentlehoney · 21/09/2014 20:32

BMI charts are only a guideline and don't work for everybody because we all have different builds and different amounts of muscle.
If you "look" too thin, you are too thin. If your health is suffering because of your weight loss, you are too thin.
It is an awful lot of weight to lose in ten months, and more than is usually recommended, so think carefully about your health, and if you are sure that everything is in order and you are eating a well balanced diet at regular intervals that maintains the weight then smile and ignore the comments.

SusannahD · 21/09/2014 20:34

Not too skinny, I'm the same height as you and I have lost 1 1/2 stone in 12 months and I'm am now at 9 1/2 stone and always get told I'm skinny and not to loose anymore. I am at the top of the bmi range for my height. I am eating more and better than I ever did before including cakes etc. I think some people are envious and think you mustn't be eating to loose weight which obviously isn't true.

Suzannewithaplan · 21/09/2014 20:34

it is normal to be fat nowadays, therefore a slim body is 'abnormal'

and of course there is the sour grapes element

SusannahD · 21/09/2014 20:34

And well done btw

Suzannewithaplan · 21/09/2014 20:35

oh, and your mum and your sister, are they svelte of body or on the 'well covered' side?

BrandyAlexander · 21/09/2014 20:38

I am the same height as you OP. You would have to be appox 2 stones lighter than your current for your bmi to indicate anorexia. I am a stone lighter than you, and people can't help themselves with the comments. Every year I have a 4 hour very thorough medical examination that tells me I am very healthy - in fact last year I got told to watch my weight as I had gone to 8.5st, yet still some people think they know better.Hmm Your weight is fine. Congratulations on the weight loss!

RiverTam · 21/09/2014 20:38

just goes to show how people aren't able to judge a healthy weight any more.

I'm 5'2 and at my lightest I weighed 8 stone, but I'm very petite. No-one called me skinny, and I was a size 8, sometimes (though not often!) a 6. This was over 10 years ago though, clothes sizes may have changed since then.

I am now 10 stone which is a total heffalump for me Blush.

gobbynorthernbird · 21/09/2014 20:39

Ten months isn't an exceptionally short time in which to lose 4 stone, gentle. That's around one and a half pounds per week, so good, steady, non-dramatic loss.

Swipe left for the next trending thread