To think I am not too skinny?

[WhatALovelySingingVoice]

I used to be quite overweight - at my heaviest I was around 13 stone at 5'2 but over the last year I've been trying really hard to lose weight and I'm now 9 stone.

I really don't think 9 stone at 5'2 is anywhere near too skinny but ever since I've reached this weight a couple of months ago I've been getting comments non-stop about how "skinny" I am.

Last week both my mum and my sister pulled me aside to tell me they were very concerned as I am "wasting away" and they really think I should say a doctor as it's not healthy being "this thin". Then later on that day my sister sent me an e-mail with links to various websites with information about eating disorders, anorexia and the health risks of being underweight with a message saying I really should get checked out . Then yesterday my mum gave me a huge half hour lecture about being too skinny and went on about a TV show she'd seen about people who were too skinny and the effects on their health it was having .

I've also had other comments from other people about how they think I've lost a bit too much, how I looked better this time last year, etc.

But really...I'm not too skinny am I?

Am I being unreasonable or are they?

Well, I should be ok then (although I haven't been running as much as normal this month - too much work to do). My sister though, who is only 4'11", has never been known to exercise in her life. So she might end up even smaller! Interestingly, we have always been the same size and I suppose she should be a bit thinner, given the fact that I'm the tall one (at 5'2"). So maybe there is something in the theory that exercise has an impact (I've always assumed that was bunkum because I've gone through periods of exercise and non exercise and I find that I'm the same size either way because when I exercise I eat more). I suspect that people who have no problems with size, and for whom medicine is not their field, aren't well informed on any of this stuff at all.

Maybe I've just been in denial about the shrinking thing. Maybe it's perfectly obvious and I was just refusing to acknowledge the evidence of my (admittedly poor) eyes.

I like 'the eyeball test' as described by a (not really proper) doctor: if they look fat they are fat, same goes for thin and anorexics always look 'wrong' even if you can't immediately tell just how underweight they are. Am sure bmi has its uses though.

a dated looking thing about obesity and poverty in developing countries in case anyone is interested (nobody is)

Surely you dont actually shrink though ie your other bones etc except spine same size etc so wouldnt you use your old bmi height (i would)
Because you wouldnt expect them to loose 2 st just because they shrank?

I think very very very old people do tend to lose weight.

You don't seem many fat 100 year olds!

Re pressure to eat lots, I have found this. Not in all social situations but a few. It creeps in to a lot of things. In the office there is always either cake being brought in for someone's birthday or a charity cake sale where you are basically morally obliged to buy cake! You can just give a donation of course but then people do comment. I don't really want 300 calories worth of icing sugar at 4pm tbh.

Also with drinking, people not accepting you just want a small glass or a single and getting you bigger drinks. Grr.

OP it sounds like they have bad habits (certainly your mother if she thinks chicken and kale is crap that will make you fade away!). They probably resent the fact that you have decided to do something and feel better as a result.

And re middle age, most people do put on weight with age. Middle aged spread is hard to fight, which is why it's good to be somewhere in the normal range to start off with. I also know someone under 50 who has just been put on BP meds. It is totally weight-related, although he doesn't eat crap, just loves good food and lots of wine!

Afaik as you get older the capacity to store fat subcutaneously tends to decrease, so any fat you do have increasingly becomes visceral fat, visceral fat has an especially negative effect on health/physiological functions and tends to increase further the tendency to storing even more visceral fat.

I guess that explains 'middle age spread'?

I was aware that most people shrink somewhat as they get older but I thought just an inch or two, unless you have osteoporosis?
I'm nearly 50 and havent lost height any yet

You don't seem many fat 100 year olds

because very fat people dont live that long

I feel like I'm shrinking every day. But that's because DS is growing every day. Or So I Thought...

YANBU , well done.

What are their bodies like?Overweight?Present them with the facts. 9st is definitely not 'skinny' at your height. Folk just seem to be used to seeing bigger people and have normalised being overweight.

I get similar comments.

Yeah, terrible dying before you get to 100 isn't it?

Infact only 1 in 6,000 people reach the age of 100 in 2014. You're not going to try and argue that obesity is a factor in that are you? 50 years ago when hardly anyone was obese it was 1 in 67,000 who got to 100.

there are other factors responsible for the increase in life expectancy in recent years, but all other things being equal obesity reduces life expectancy, so yes of course obesity is one factor influencing life expectancy.

You dont see morbidly obese very elderly people because they die of obesity related causes before reaching an advanced age.

With regards to poverty and obesity

I live in one of London's poorest and most deprived boroughs. I totally get that many families can only afford cheap foods from Iceland and similar places. I also totally get that if they've run out of gas or electric until next pay day, McDonalds/Greggs/Random high street takeaway is a cheap and fast belly filler.

BUT Every single overweight/obese friend or acquaintance of mine who I have been close enough to notice their eating habits on a regular basis, eat far more of those foods than the majority of slim people I know.

They also exercise far less than the majority of slim people I know.

I understand anecdotes don't equal data, but yet I can't ignore the fact that they eat so much more than the slimmer people I know. As do many of their children who are also noticeably overweight.

If a stomach gets too much food (no matter what the quality) it will eventually stretch and therefore, it will take more food to fill it imo.

but what about all those obesity paradoxes? www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21416445

Sorry I meant to say, so the ever annoying phrase "Eat less and move more", applies to everyone regardless of their income imo.

FFS Suzanne, my point about not seeing obese 100 year olds was a joke.

Sounds fine to me. If you are unsure, suggest you see your doctor (and also discuss your diet and exercise routine).

obesity paradox may have something to do with fat distribution Mitchy?

oh yeah, fat distribution

wish someone would explain it all to me and I wish I'd understand and remember it if they did

I know what you mean Worra, and your description of behaviours at the all-you-can-eat place rang annoyingly true

anyway is nice to be interested in other people's body fat instead of obsessively monitoring my own for a change :)

Old people shrink because their spine compresses as the stuff between the bones shrinks ( sorry for lack of technical terns). Therefore they get shorter.

I'm five foot three. I've no idea what I weigh as I don't have any scales but am a size 8. A few years ago I was ill and my weight went down to 7 stone 5. I looked awful, no clothes fit me in the shops and I had no periods. Yet this weight is deemed "normal" on the bmi calculator (albeit at the lower end). It just goes to show you have to find the right weight for you, not go by some chart. And usually that weight is whatever your body maintains naturally.

I'm 5"3 and 9 st exactly. My ideal weight for my body shape, I feel, is 8st 7, where my size 8 clothes have a little wiggle room.

If I go much lower than that, then I start looking very angular, as I have broad shoulders and quite a prominent collar bone.

Thank you for those who posted the photo galleries - the people who are my size and weight look much slimmer than how I see myself.

I bordered on the anorexic at 6th form. One of my subjects was performing arts and, apart from one other, all the girls were about a size 6 with petite frames. I felt more pressure being around them (despite the fact that they rarely deigned to talk to me) than I ever did from the media. I went down to about 7st5, went days without eating, and was dancing for at least 5 hours per week. I thought I looked better (though still not as good as the others), but seeing my holiday snaps that year was a wake up call - that weight did not suit my bone structure at all.

You sound like you're a great weight OP, but as you're smaller than your family's norm, you may appear 'too' thin for them.

I'm 5 ft 1, weigh 7 stone 7 and still have curves - D/E cup boobs and noticeable hips/bum. At the moment I actually feel bigger than I did at 8st 4 when I was running regularly as I am less toned (have had 2 operations this summer and haven't been able to exercise).

My BMI according to NHS is 19, so I could lose quite a bit of weight before being unhealthy yet I get similar comments (I've never been overweight but have lost about a stone through being more active this year and by being diagnosed as allergic to milk which cuts a lot of fat from my diet).