Bra-less at my BBQ?

[BioSuisse]

Last night DH and i hosted a BBQ for newish friends whom we had never hosted before. DH invited a female colleague whom i had never met before. She turned up with her boyfriend but not her bra. She was wearing a thickish cotton white top. You could see the outline of her boobs and nipples if you looked.

After the party i mentioned it to DH. He claimed to not have noticed.

MN jury?

I get what you meant op, and I also agree with what minkah said earlier (which she in turn got slated for).

Lots of bitchiness and pack mentality about today - ignore all the personal stuff op and hide the thread.

Katie, once you have returned safely from Planet Disingenuous would you like to point out, from the 38 million-odd men living in this green and pastured land, even one who does not develop infantile fantasies of squirting his jizz on the nearest curtain when he sees a braless woman with protruding nips.

..and if judging a woman for going braless when she looks like a complete twat makes one a lesbian then I'm Sandi Toksvig.

I went to a neighbours BBQ a few weeks ago braless. It didn't even occur to me that it might be seen as inappropriate. It was hot day, my top was a halter style, and I thought bra straps sticking out might look a bit tacky. I am small of boob and the top wasn't white so maybe that makes it ok???

I'd hazard a guess that the woman in question was young and attractive and that is where your problem really lies. Had she been old, ugly, with spaniel ear boobs hanging down to her knees you probably wouldn't have cared.

If it makes you feel any better someone so obvious is not a threat to you. It's the quiet, nicely dressed, young and insecure girl in the office who is. Someone who'd be grateful for a bit of attention from your DH. This girl doesn't need it.

It's not about control JanineStHubbins, it's about what makes me feel comfortable in my own home. If said work colleague wants to wear no bra to work, or in public, or in any other situation apart from in my own home, that's fine.

But what some aggressive feminists fail to realise that there is nothing wrong with wearing a bra either, there's nothing wrong in having different standards to other people.

People disagree over issues all the time - whether it be over politics, social issues whatever. For me, walking around with my nipples in view at a colleagues BBQ isn't appropriate or respectful. I'm entitled to that view and it doesn't make either of us right or wrong. We each have our own preferences. And if someone did that at my house, I would not be impressed either and I would ask them to leave it made me feel uncomfortable.

I agree with the op that why has this thread become about her? If you want to discuss attitudes to gifs and bras fine. It's not ok to attack her

Ha! Ha! All these feminists giving it 'How preposterous that you are trying to control what other women wear'. I would LOVE to see their faces if a woman turned up at their BBQ with no knickers on and kept bending over to pick up her bag, flashing her vagina at all their guests.

HA HA HA!

A bbq bra is just like a penis beaker.

Soon to be available in the mumsnet shop.

don't let your breasts be the disruption at a bbq with your boss! Retain your social decorum with our specially designed bbq bra , guaranteed to keep your modesty intact and not distract anyone with unfettered swinging action under the top every time you reach forward for some chargrilled meats. Your boss and his wife will admire your ability to present yourself well within what is considered as standard practice!

Worse, you've got it the wrong way round like your top

I didn't think a bra was a disguise though?
The Op was objecting to seeing the outline of her boobs and nipples if you looked

She seems to reason that a bra would hide "the outline of her boobs and nipples" -- hiding: that's a disguise.

She'd have to be some kind of acrobat, Pistol, it's pretty well hidden.

Woman did nothing wrong.
OP not BU to feel uncomfortable in her own home - feelings are feelings.
Whether "inappropriate" based on BBQ being at woman's boss' house depends on unspoken workplace culture which woman unlikely to have fully absorbed yet. Some employer / employee relationships would make this frowned on, others not.
OP reads as judgemental towards the woman - eg language used (using P.3 model as comparator, referring to length of time woman has known BF). May not be deliberate but has influenced tone of thread.

pistolwhipped you make me very much lol.

Are you upset?

UptheChimney... You and your dogged determination to stick to what was actually written, you spoilsport you...

flashing her vagina

You mean her vulva, or probably as you've imagined her bending over her anus, surely? The vagina isn't on the outside of a woman's body.

But so what? It's just a body.

Minkah

Fed up of those pesky, bra-less, udder-breasted feminists in ill-fitting T-shirts putting your guests off their sausage? Simply tell her it's a sponsored bra-wearing barbie and you're raising money for trafficked Ann Summers staff. She'll soon be begging you for summat to cover her embonpoint!

If she had turned up in this
Would no one have thought that kinda weird/ rude either?

It surely has, SignYourName.

People will do different things-say it,wear it...sometimes their action will cause stir but unfortunately we can't do anything about it.
Sorry OP.

Steady. It's the vagina police. ;)