Mum changing shitty nappy in ladies

[ProudAS]

I just went to the loo in a restaurant to find a mum had just changed her DC. The used nappy was on the floor with poo visible. She did get rid of the nappy (in the sanitary bin) but not the smell.

The smell made me retch and feel sick. AIBU to think she should have used the baby changing room next door?

Yes Flogging when it concerns my children (when appropriate) I will put them first.

And especially in this case, I would put my children first

Floggingmolly, I was simply postulating a situation where, perhaps, the mother needed to change her child's nappy but was aware that it would cause the OP nausea and stress. Do you really think it would have been reasonable for her to refuse to wait a couple of minutes till OP had left? Why would anyone be so utterly selfish as to refuse just because it was OP's issue, and not theirs?

For goodness sake, if we were all entitled to ignore other people's "issues" because they are theirs and not ours, where would that leave us? Take that to its logical conclusion, and people are entitled not to give up train seats for the disabled - after all, to use your phrase, "the issue would be theirs", not ours. How about refusing to help people with visual impairments, after all, it's only their issue, not ours?

But why on earth would the mother have known it would have caused OP distress. . She was changing her child in a loo. She doesn't know OP, nor could she be expected to know the impact the nappy would have.

Amen Little

It's slightly different, though. Op walked into a situation that made her feel uncomfortable, but she had the choice to leave. She could have waited till the mum had finished, rather than assuming the mum was in the wrong for doing a perfectly normal thing, which she just happened to be unable to cope with.
I understand that it's her disability causing the issue, but I still think, when you're out of step with the world to that extent, rightly or wrongly you need to adjust yourself to the world rather than expect the world to adjust itself to you.
I can't stand being in a room with anyone eating cheese and onion crisps; but I remove myself rather than expecting other people to accommodate me.
Granted I don't have AS, but the op sounds both intelligent and articulate, I assume she has some sense of self awareness.

LittleBearPad, if your post was in response to me, I'm not suggesting the mother did know. I was simply responding to the message saying that the baby's needs trump everything by pointing out that IF the mother had known, it would have been reasonable to wait a couple of minutes - thus demonstrating that maybe the baby's need for a clean nappy in that situation wouldn't necessary trump everything.

Floggingmolly, of course you're right, but you're taking my post out of context. As stated in my post, I was postulating a different situation where, contrary to ican's assertion, the baby's needs don't necessary come first. I specifically pointed out, more than once, that I didn't think that the mother in this particular situation was being unreasonable, because she didn't have any reason to know about the OP's difficulties. But equally I think attacks on the OP for being distressed by this are totally out of order.

I know what you mean - I have similar problems with crowds and excessively noisy places. How do you suggest I avoid loos though? Should I go in the street?

some people had some suggestions. have some nice smelling stuff ready to go to handle the smell and have a picture of anti-poo (whatever that is for you) on your phone. I think you will have to accept that loos smell and may have visible poo in them.

you have a strange condition. you say it's not the smell or the sight it's the combination when not in the toilet. Well, that's just weird. By that I don't mean you are bad for having it, but most people wouldn't guess that someone would have such a problem. So, no matter how polite or sensitive people are, they simply won't know that there is an issue.

Well said Veritata
The way some posters have ridiculed her disability is really disappointing. I don't refer to those who simply feel that she was unreasonable but those who have been unpleasantly disablist. They wouldn't have talked about a distressed child in this way I imagine but they seem to think an adult is fair game.

whybehappy talks a lot of sense OP.

The woman wasn't being unreasonable because the issue is yours not hers. That doesn't mean it's your fault but it does mean it's your responsibility and you who has got to potentially find a way round things like this, not everyone else.

I've had severe anxiety in the past that has been debilitating and certain things made it much, much worse but I couldn't reasonably expect people to stop doing these totally normal things.

Enters thread with a urge to do her normal some people are cunts post but back out muttering loudly to anyone who wants to listen.

I often send my meals back if they are served on blue plates,because I don't fucking like blue plates and the blue stops me eating off them.

Gladi got that off my chest

How long has disablist been a word?

Quite some time and its use is not hidden.

Does it matter, ican? It is a word and MNHQ don't tolerate disablist posts.

It does matter a bit. Again, it's for another time and place.

I've been on mumsnet for about 10 years (different username, emails, countries, servers etc) and this word has only become the latest new fad for about 2 years max.

So you do know it's a word?

It's a word in some peoples opinion, but not mine.

officially I don't think it is a word (by official I mean Microsoft office puts a wavy red line under it!).

But everyone knows what it means so what difference does it make?

It's in the dictionary!

As a disabled person, who has suffered discrimination due to their disability, it is insulting to hear someone call disablism a "fad"!

People get offended PA by anything these days!

It's in the OED.
Of course it's a word.
I do hope you aren't describing challenging disability prejudice and discrimination as a fad.

It's a fad currently. It will wear off soon and turn into something else/a new word.

That's exactly what she's doing ilove. It is incredibly insulting and offensive imo.

ican I don't get offended by anything, I get offended by people who post things like you have and who hold opinions like you do!

Is racism or homophobia a fad too, ican?