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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Mum changing shitty nappy in ladies

368 replies

ProudAS · 20/09/2014 13:03

I just went to the loo in a restaurant to find a mum had just changed her DC. The used nappy was on the floor with poo visible. She did get rid of the nappy (in the sanitary bin) but not the smell.

The smell made me retch and feel sick. AIBU to think she should have used the baby changing room next door?

OP posts:
icanmakeyouicecream · 20/09/2014 22:13

I don't understand that but goodnight, sleep well Thanks

hazeyjane · 20/09/2014 22:13

Bloody hell, what is going on?!

I often post on threads where the subject of disability crops up, because I have a disabled son, I assume Fanjo does the same. Is there some reason why people shouldn't post on threads that feel relevant to them?

icanmakeyouicecream · 20/09/2014 22:16

No, of course not hazey, but I think it gives you a heightened sense or alertness so you project and/or over react. I know some thing in my life have made me react in this way. Nobody obviously knows what goes on in my life and I probably project too - I know I do.

Also, my goodnight message to fanjo probably looks sarcastic and completely not genuine but I do not mean it that way. I am sorry if I have offended.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/09/2014 22:19

It's not overreacting to object to AS being called an excuse, and to say so, in fairly mild way.

And with that I am off to sleep.

TurquoiseDress · 20/09/2014 22:21

Seriously OP?!
Ok I can only assume that yours smells of roses.

icanmakeyouicecream · 20/09/2014 22:21

In this instance in my opinion it was an excuse - nothing trumps a baby in need.

Sleep well Fanjo Thanks

hazeyjane · 20/09/2014 22:22

Or it can give you an insight into a situation that others may not have.

i can see different views of the op, because due to his disability i have had to change him on the floor of the ladies. But I can also see her point of view, having a ds who is very upset by noise and smells.

however i can see no excuse for referring to autism as an 'excuse' and I would think that whether I had a disabled child or not.

trufflesnout · 20/09/2014 22:22

What about two babies in need?

hazeyjane · 20/09/2014 22:23

'a baby in need ' is not a reason to make disabilist comments.

icanmakeyouicecream · 20/09/2014 22:24

A baby in need tops all, for me personally and always will do.

ilovesooty · 20/09/2014 22:25

I felt sorry for the OP and the way her disability was being responded too and I don't even have a disability or a family member with one. She might have been unreasonable (I'm not really in a position to judge) but some of the comments about her disability and the way she felt about the incident must have upset her.

ilovesooty · 20/09/2014 22:27

And yes, describing autism as an excuse is disablist.

ILovePud · 20/09/2014 22:30

I don't think autism is an 'excuse' but do you not think that things can potentially be used as an excuse? Perhaps this was the distinction that others are making. People can have disabilities can also be unreasonable and that can be unrelated to their disability.

ilovesooty · 20/09/2014 22:32

But this was related to her disability.

SauvignonBlanche · 20/09/2014 22:35

Why would her username give us a clue to her disability?
I immediately presumed that the OP had AS through her use of capital letters for AS.

Random1999 · 20/09/2014 22:39

Her name could be Anne Snow, not all will make that connection.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/09/2014 22:41

And yes, describing autism as an excuse is disablist.

I totally agree, and it says a damn sight more about the poster who said it than it does about the OP!

SauvignonBlanche · 20/09/2014 22:49

I think Anna Snow would call herself ProudAnna or ProudAnnaSnow.

Veritata · 20/09/2014 22:50

Gileswithachainsaw, why don't you find out more about Asperger's before criticising? OP has explained that the fact that the nappy was in the wrong bin made her feel uncomfortable - that is absolutely characteristic of an autistic spectrum disorder and is certainly neither nonsense or inconsistent. Your post is simply offensive.

manicinsomniac · 20/09/2014 22:54

After all the work people put in on here and in real life to help people recognise and understand children with ASD it's really sad to see the nastiness directed toward someone with the same condition just because they happen to be grown up.

I thought the OP was incredibly unreasonable until I saw that she had AS. I didn't even look at the username and wouldn't have connected it with aspergers if I had. But I still don't think OP was drip feeding. As she herself said (and I really hope this doesn't sound patronising or disablist because I don't mean it to) she isn't NT. She doesn't make the same decisions or think the same way as someone who is. Having a go and tearing apart every little detail of her posts once you know this is just horrible.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/09/2014 22:54

But the problem wasn't originally the bin that's why.

It was the smell and the sight but the smell would have been different had it been in a different bin and the anger wasn't mentioned til much much later and she can loom away for other nappies that's why.

The bin was jumped on as a last ditch attempt for someone to agree.

Veritata · 20/09/2014 22:58

What is all this nonsense about a baby in need? Anyone would think babies will get some awful disease if their nappies aren't changed within seconds of becoming dirty. I'm not in any way blaming the mother of this baby, but it's ridiculous to suggest that, if she had known the distress her actions would cause OP, she would have been entitled to assume that her baby's need for a nappy change trumped OP's need not to feel nauseated and stressed.

Veritata · 20/09/2014 23:00

No, Giles, the bin was not jumped on as a last ditch effort. It was part and parcel of what made the entire experience distressing for OP, and was mentioned in the first post.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/09/2014 23:04

And what makes you think the mum didn't need to use the floor as she has a bad back and struggles to lift or is recovering from. Surgery or god forbid needs the loo herself.

Why on earth in a toilet were there is
Always going to be poo and wee visible would anyone start thinking of competitive needs trumping

Floggingmolly · 20/09/2014 23:12

Your last post is little weird, Veritata.
Yes, the mum would totally have been entitled to change her baby's nappy in the ladies loo no matter who had an issue with it, because the issue would be theirs, not hers.
Would you send your lunch back because it was on a blue plate and someone totally unconnected with you had an issue with blue plates?
People with disabilities, whilst deserving of respect can't always expect the world to adjust itself to them, when the rest of the world are doing what can be considered normal, everyday things.