to send round this wedding email?

[emdemm]

DF and I are getting married soon, we are having a traditional church ceremony as we're both Christian. We've picked out the hymns we want but quite a lot of our guests aren't religious or have faiths other than Christianity so wouldn't be familiar with them - to be fair some hymns aren't even that common in the churches we know! But I've been to weddings where everyone shares the confused look and mumbles through to be polite and it's just quite embarrassing...

I would like to send round an email to all our guests with links to the songs (there are only 3) just so they can familiarise themselves with them if they want to. Obviously if people don't want to join in, that's absolutely fine! Just to have the option if they like. Would that be unreasonable?

Atheist hymn singer here.
14 years of CofE schools I know loads of them and can scan the tunes
I belt them out any old how while not believing a word of it.

OP
TBH even if the hymns are unusual, the important thing is to pick ones that scan well with bouncy tunes so that by the third verse everybody is joining in.

I think it is fine. I would think how lovely and helpful. I would not think I am expected to learn these. People either stay silent, sing well as they know the hymn or muddle through. Practice like this won't help with the music too it will just give them an opportunity to familiarise themselves with the words.

Sorry haven't read all the pp but I worried about the same thing at our wedding, but I'm sure I'm repeating what others have said. I agree it can be awkard for the guests if it's not their thing and a bit lackluster. Anyhoo, we had a good friend who is an amazing singer and he sung all the songs along with the organist and quartet. He did it for nothing as he was chuffed to be asked (we did buy him a present though). For my Grandmother's funeral, we asked if any members of the church choir would be available to sing. We had two ladies who were happy to do it. Although they didn't ask for payment, we did so anyway and it was much appreciated (and much cheaper than a professional).

So maybe you could try the church choir to give the singing a boost or a talented friend?

As an atheist I dont sing along either. To me hymns are a declaration of faith and/or praise and it doesnt sit right with me to sing them, feels hypocritical.

Think if you are worried about people being able to join in then it would be much better to pick the most well known hymns.

The mixed reaction on this thread indicates you would probably get a mixed reaction from your guests. Some wouldn't mind, some would think you were being a little bit demanding!

Lot of tight gits on this thread, IMO. I'm not Christian, but I think the "FGS!", "FFS!", "YABVVVU!!1!" and "ERMAHGERD, TOTAL BRIDEZILLA!" comments are really harsh and uncalled for.

OP, you've already said you don't want people to sing if they don't want to - you sound pretty open-minded and thoughtful to me. Some people don't/won't sing, and you're clearly fine with that. If you think other people might like to (and they're your friends, so you're more likely to know!), but might not know the hymns you've chosen, by all means send a light-hearted email.

And congratulations on getting married!

As other posters have said, just pick hymns that people know. I really hate it when people pick hymns that no-one knows because you just get a load of mumbling. Much better atmosphere if most people know the words.

I'm an atheist but love singing hymns and gospel music. I go to carol services and everything, and love the homemade granny cake afterwards. Anyway, you can see where this is going- I would appreciate the email and would practice.

I love a good sing at a wedding - not at all inconsistent with being an atheist, that would be praying not singing

Oh, but I wouldn't practice beforehand

Make sure the order of service has all the lyrics or clearly signposts the right page in the hymn book. People who don't like singing won't practice and will mumble anyway, I'm afraid.

Get a choir

You don't sound like a bridezilla in your OP, and I'm sure you wouldn't in your email. It might be a bit unusual, but I really don't think anyone would be offended!

It wouldn't make a difference to me because I'm a horrible singer and don't sing in public (although I silently mouth the words ), but I wouldn't think you were pushy for sending it. I do agree with everyone who said hire the choir though. Congrats!

I'd think it was pretty cool actually, I know my friends well enough to not be offended/or offend with this.

Actually I wonder if you could suggest this to the priest at my church, I've recently gone to C of E from Catholic (don't tell my grandma!) and lots of the hymns are different so I feel a bit lost!

Go to a Sunday service. Approach one of the choir afterwards, compliment them, then ask how much they charge to attend a wedding. If they say they don't do weddings, ask if a few of them (it would only take a couple of strong singers) would come along if you made a contribution to the choir social fund.

I think the email is weird.

Book the choir if you can....if you haven't already....failing that a singing style Kenny Everitt with a sponge hand to lead the choons....

I'd find the email a little unnecessary ....but I always love a good croon at a wedding....

I'm atheist.

I'm also a chorister.

Just make sure the organist starts in a key everyone can get. Nothing worse than happily singing away to 'All things Bright and Beautiful' at a wedding, only to realise you're going to be squeaking along with the high notes all the way through. And then being struck by giggles at 'purple-headed mountains' because the last time you r sung it you were 5 and didn't have a filthy mind.

Choose hymns/songs people know.

Isn't this what the order of service is for? Print out the words and give them to your guests in the church. Problem solved.

I'd mock you mercilessly, I'm afraid. It's a bit control-freaky. I definitely think you'd be better off making sure your nearest and dearest (who you can be a bit bridezilla with) are familiar with the hymns and will sing their hearts out.

BOOK THE CHOIR FFS

I'm as athiest as you get but have no problem singing hymns. I'm suprised there are so many athiest non hymn singers. I wonder if they abstain from Christmas and Easter too.

I don't prey but happy to go along with whatever else within reason.

I'm an atheist non-hymn singer and I don't abstain from Christmas or Easter as I view them as cultural festivals rather than religious occasions. I don't attend church at either time, but I'm happy to give children gifts and enjoy the sense of community that comes with the holidays. I don't consider them to be God-related times. If I'm invited to a wedding in a church I would go along to watch my relatives/friends enter in a civil contract, it's immaterial if it's in a church.

Of course I meant pray not prey

Book a choir.

Don't send the email.