to send round this wedding email?

[emdemm]

DF and I are getting married soon, we are having a traditional church ceremony as we're both Christian. We've picked out the hymns we want but quite a lot of our guests aren't religious or have faiths other than Christianity so wouldn't be familiar with them - to be fair some hymns aren't even that common in the churches we know! But I've been to weddings where everyone shares the confused look and mumbles through to be polite and it's just quite embarrassing...

I would like to send round an email to all our guests with links to the songs (there are only 3) just so they can familiarise themselves with them if they want to. Obviously if people don't want to join in, that's absolutely fine! Just to have the option if they like. Would that be unreasonable?

I think an email saying 'these are the songs we've chosen, in case you want to have a look/listen in advance' would struggle to offend anyone reasonable.

I think it would be different if you said, I dunno, 'we really want everybody singing so please take some time to familiarise yourself with the tunes' that would be different.

emdemm there you have it, the people who care enough will come to you themselves. friend sounds a bit over involved, gracious

emdemm that's the thing: technically I would think that as well. I can even imagine myself asking. It's just that if I got that email, without asking, I can equally imagine myself thinking, 'eh? And is there some sort of dance routine you'd like me to learn too?'

But you know your guests better; if you think they'd take it in the right spirit, go for it.

That would be hilarious OP.

I'd love that, but I love singing. I'd probably go overboard and learn the alto part. And embarrass my family. i'm probably not typical.

The main issue however is making sure the organist/ worship band / string quartet know which tune you want. At BIL and SIL's wedding the organist played completely the wrong tune, and we ended up with half the lines of each verse still unsung. And at my parents' wedding, my mother wanted one tune for Love Divine and got the German national anthem one instead. Not amused.

I'd love it. I'm not really religious but I love singing so I would enjoy hearing about the hymns beforehand.

a hymn is an act of prayer - as an atheist, I don't sing. I'm also an awful singer! I often get someone tuneful near me so wouldn't want to wreck their joyful noise either.

so don't expect a perfect choir - if you want that, hire one. Still, I like your mate's idea but she presumably can sing!

to answer - no, don't send that email. It looks like 'please practice'.

I think you mean it kindly, and not in a precious way, but it will come across as being very controlling, and smacks of you wanting guests to swift up so you can have a ceremony that you want

Ooh good idea amici

Going to listen to the German national anthem now cash. Imagine was quite rousing?

I'd be a bit surprised to receive an e-mail like that. Agree it would feel a bit like having homework.

Are you planning on printing order of services with the words to the hymns included, or will the wedding guests just get the hymn number to look them up in the hymn books?

Although if good singing's that important to you, I agree with pp that you should either pick popular hymns or get a choir in to sing.

I'd really like this, I love a good sing at a wedding or funeral but you can't really get going without being confident of the tune. There is a wonderful hymn that my mother wants at her funeral that she is teaching us now ( she will go on for years but wants to be prepared!) We have decided that when the time comes we will get the vicar to say enthusiastic singing is encouraged and have the choir sing the first verse to be repeated by the congregation so everyone knows the tune.

Well it's a nice idea in theory but I don't think people would have the time to practise. I'm a hopeless singer but would sing if I could. It would be better just to choose hymns people are familiar with.

I would love to get the email-even though I am an atheist and can't sing I love a good sing song. I would find the hymn on YouTube and practice,

Ha yes I expect everyone to dance as well!!! The Macarena perhaps

dont do it

have songs people know fgs

At the suggestion of the minister who married us, we got the pianist to play one less-known song (gospel song rather than hymn) before the service and he led the guests in it line by line. He often does this at his church. We have a fairly musical and highly church-going set of friends and family but we knew nobody would know this one.

I think if I received that e-mail I'd think the bride and groom were expecting everyone to learn them and sound brilliant!. And I would find it a bit odd.

At every wedding I've ever been to a few people sing loudly and everyone else mumbles along or doesn't sing at all.

I have NEVER know anyone comment on the singing in Church not being up to scratch.

Once I'd gotten over the initial over receiving such an unusual email I'd love it!!

I say do it OP!

I don't think it's the least bit brideziller'ish. As long as you phrase it nicely.

Dear Guests,
One of my friends asked me to send her the details of the hymns we are having at our wedding so I thought I might as well send the details to everyone just in case anyone wants to sing along too.

Not long now, can't wait to see you all.

emdemm

@Iloveturnips that sounds perfect polite but not pushy!

I would think it strange to receive such an email - you dont email any of the wording, readings etc . If you are concerned at congregations ability then you book the choir who will hopefully know them or if not will practise and you choose easy to sing/popular songs. Went to a wedding last year where we were expected t sing a pop song !

I wouldn't mind getting it.

I wouldn't do it.

you need to remember that close family aside for everyone else it is just a wedding. people have jobs and kids and things and arent factoring in choir practice