to send round this wedding email?

[emdemm]

DF and I are getting married soon, we are having a traditional church ceremony as we're both Christian. We've picked out the hymns we want but quite a lot of our guests aren't religious or have faiths other than Christianity so wouldn't be familiar with them - to be fair some hymns aren't even that common in the churches we know! But I've been to weddings where everyone shares the confused look and mumbles through to be polite and it's just quite embarrassing...

I would like to send round an email to all our guests with links to the songs (there are only 3) just so they can familiarise themselves with them if they want to. Obviously if people don't want to join in, that's absolutely fine! Just to have the option if they like. Would that be unreasonable?

or pay for the church choir to be there

I wouldn't be remotely offended but I would think it was rather weird

Change the hymns or get the choir to bolster the singing. I would think you were nutty if I received a link to the hymns to be brutally honest. Are your guests not busy people?

Lovely idea (as an athiest I would appreciate this)

Also good is to plant some REALLY LOUD SINGERS in amongst the congregation - they always help to bring us non-church types into tune.

I think you could be quite jokey. Say you've found some rarely heard hymns and thought you'd send audios of them round to save them looking like goldfish on the day

I think an email saying something like "a few people have asked what hymns we are having - we have chosen x y z (like below). Absolutely not expecting people to come having practiced or even listens to them, but if you're interested the liks are there. Can't wait to see you all. Love xx"

I think you only invite people who are good singers.

If you think that lots of people will not know the hymns, then I would consider paying for the church choir to be in attendance to lead the singing. Failing that, you may be able to employ a quartet of students from a music college (if you live near a big city).

It definitely helps to keep things moving along if you've got someone leading the singing.

I think it's a great idea but keep the email light hearted

Please, please, please tell us which ones you've chosen. I love a good sing-a-long and need to know.

I'd hope that people you have at your wedding would know you both well and never consider you a bridezilla.

Tbh, I've always found that term on mumsnet a bit weird and could only see it applied by people who don't like the couple, in which case they should have declined the wedding invitation.

Thinking of the thread where the bride prepared a contract for her bridesmaids to sign - here - you could :

a) enlist bridesmaids to give pre-wedding tuition to the invited guests in small groups
or
b) hold auditions to decide who will be worthy of inviting!

I wouldn't be offended, but I wouldn't practise, not least because hymns are ALWAYS played in the oddest key imaginable so the men always have to drop an octave half way through and the women have to either clench to hit the high notes or go a bit odd and rumbly for the low ones.

As a devout atheist I wouldn't object to receiving the email but it would make no difference as I don't sing religious songs. However, others might appreciate getting the heads up in advance.

Hmm I can see you mean this in a nice way but if I received this email I would kind of feel like you want me to practise - however non pushily you phrase the email - otherwise why would you be sending the links? And then I'd feel guilty for not practising.

Mumbly hymn singing is pretty common at weddings and if you choose to have a church service when lots of the guests aren't churchgoers then that's the likely result! Honestly I don't think the mumbliness is particularly embarrassing, it's just standard IME.

I'd think it very odd,and would also be wondering if you expected a dance routine.

I'm an atheist and don't sing hymns at any event, but I would think it was a bit sad that you chose hymns that most people don't know as they might enjoy the opportunity to sing familiar songs. It would probably feel a bit flat in the church imo.

I'd think it was a bit odd too, I think hiring the choir is a better way to go. Why don't you tell us the hymns and we can let you know if we know them?

Friends of ours had One More Step Along the World I Go, as one of their wedding hymns, and I thought it was an inspired choice. The lyrics are completely fitting and eveyone knows it from school! I think that's the key, finding at least one song that everyone will know.

Blimey. Several steps too far for me. Receiving that would give a real incentive for something unavoidable to happen on the day. Sorry.

I've never known hymns at a wedding, even a church wedding. Is this normal? Music is usually kept to the evening do in my experience.

I would raise my eyebrow and wonder if you were a bit controlling if that's the only information in the email. If there's other stuff about useful directions to venue, link to gift list, list of local hotels, etc. and it was part of that kind of infopack that gets sent sometimes I'd probably not bat an eyelid and think you're very organised.

I think you should just recruit some good loud singers to plant in the congregation.

We had less than 10 people at my grandma's cremation (just close family before main church service), but 4 of them sang professionally or in a choir. We were far louder than the entire uncertain congregation at a recent wedding.

We had hymns at ours, I was very upset as they did Jerusalem whilst we were off signing the register, I really felt aggrieved that I hadn't been able to belt it out!

Sicaq, really? Every church wedding I've been to has had hymns.