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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let a delivery guy use my toilet?

287 replies

msfreud · 16/09/2014 17:46

Just that, really. Seems to happen all the time that delivery guys - everything from Ocado to Warren & Evans, ask to use my toilet once inside my property!

So today the guy from Warren & Evans (delivering a bed) asked, and I said no on the grounds that I would have needed to let him into a part of the house that I was keeping "closed off" as the cat (who needs to be kept in and out of the way of deliveries etc. as we've just moved) was there and I didn't want her to get out of there. And to be honest I've now had several experiences of a delivery guy asking to use my loo and leave it stinking of piss so I really prefer not to. Only have one loo in the house and want to keep it nice and clean. It's a not a public toilet after all and he was not a friend or family, just a random stranger really.

OP posts:
londonrach · 16/09/2014 21:12

It is 2old. I was particular when i went.

londonrach · 16/09/2014 21:20

I used to live in a rural community. No supermarkets and pubs opened at lunch time only and not on a monday. Luckily my patients nice and understanding and most were older and werent precious apart from a few special ones (i coukd write a huge another thread on those but patient confidentially i will not say :-) ) so i could pee when needed. I was there to help these patients bare in mind. So called head quarters was 20 miles plus away....

millymae · 16/09/2014 21:25

Before the dc's I worked in a job that meant I was out an about visiting people in their own homes and due to the lack of public toilets, the fact that supermarkets weren't always in area I was working and that I didn't always have the time and money to stop and have a drink in a café so that I could use the toilet there I often had to ask those I was visiting whether I could use their toilet. I hated having to ask, but needs must. I would have been mortified if someone had said no.

I think YABVU and the cat is a poor excuse. To refuse someone who asks to use your toilet whilst in your home is pretty un-kind in my book. Weren't you at all embarrassed telling him no? We all need to go to the toilet and what harm would his wee/poo in your toilet have done.

rubybleu · 16/09/2014 21:26

Over the course of the last 5 weeks I have...

  • allowed 2 delivery drivers delivering my new bed AND the builder doing work to use my loo today as well on previous occasions, without disinfecting the entire bathroom immediately afterwards
  • heated up the John Lewis delivery driver's dinner in my microwave
  • bought instant coffee, milk and sugar so that the builder can help himself to hot drinks

I don't understand what the big deal is - it's just a toilet. Maybe I am clueless as my father has a construction company that he ran from home, so am used to tradespeople using the family facilities! I think it's basically proper snobbery.

Nottinghill1 · 16/09/2014 21:29

Oh dear,poor man! I know how it feels to be desperate for the loo!!!

nocoolnamesleft · 16/09/2014 21:31

The ironic thing.....

A poster earlier mentioned not letting them use the loo as they'd had experience of such a person having strong smelling piss. This rather implies that the piss was concentrated. Which happens if people don't drink enough. And, of course, the most likely reason a delivery man wouldn't drink enough is worrying about not being able to use the loo.

Laugh? I PMSL.

verbeier · 16/09/2014 21:32

I had furniture delivered from a high street shop and the deliverer asked to use my toilet and I agreed. Unfortunately, the toilet was in the hall where we were signing firms so we all heard the man peeing. He walked out, without washing his hands, then ruffled my four year olds hair as he walked past.

When they left my son had an impromptu hair wash. Never again....

BadLad · 16/09/2014 21:36

How funny that the thread about letting a stranger who knocked on the door come in and use the loo had more positive replies than this one about a delivery man.

daisychain01 · 16/09/2014 21:42

Why can't deliver men be given one of these?

Ickle-Wee-Bottle

Lagoonablue · 16/09/2014 21:53

Yes the BT man putting in our wifi flushed and didn't wash his hands. I find that off putting. I do let people use the toilet though. We have a small one downstairs that I never use myself.

In our old house. The young lad laying a path was obviously desperate and asked to use our toilet one day as he had no access to the one next door as they went out. He had a massive smelly poo. He was obviously desperate and embarrassed. I wasn't happy but couldn't see what else he could have done!

GnomeDePlume · 16/09/2014 22:03

Why can't people in driving jobs use public toilets?

Go at depot each time they return
Go to supermarket
Go to public loos

DH was a supermarket delivery driver until a year or so ago. He says they werent allowed to stop off especially to use the competition's toilets. Also the scheduling was so tight that the best they could hope for a break was a quick stop in a lay by somewhere.

Delivery jobs work to far tighter deadlines than they used to.

WooItsAGhostCat · 16/09/2014 22:31

I could understand refusing a grocery delivery driver or the post man, for example, as I won't let any man who isn't a close friend or relative into my home unless my husband/brother/father is here.
But if this man has already entered your home, your bedroom no less, and spent time putting up your furniture, how can you refuse him the use of your loo?
This cat excuse sounds a load of crap. I suspect your loo is literally a 'shit hole' and you were too embarrassed to let him see it!

slithytove · 16/09/2014 22:51

Why do people think that the delivery man built the bed? Have I missed that post somewhere?

Anyway I had a sky man here recently. Not a chance would I have let him use my loo. He stank. I complained afterwards as my bedroom reeked. He sat on the fucking bed as well.

As for passing drivers, I would let them use the downstairs loo if someone was in with me. Goes without saying that workmen would. If it was my loo, then no. And yes, DH and I have separate loos.

Tinpin · 16/09/2014 22:52

Poor man. You are just plain mean.

slithytove · 16/09/2014 22:53

I've had plenty of furniture delivered that I've assembled myself, bed included.

I wouldn't say that warrants time spent in the home in the same way a plumber would.

Azquilith · 16/09/2014 23:05

My DP works 8-5. If he is not in a customers house (up to ten jobs a day) he is expected to be driving to the next one. He gets a half hour break for lunch and that's it. Driving to public toilets/a supermarket would have to be part of that. So it's wee or eat. And incidentally supermarket car parks charge and he is not paid well. People who won't let him use their toilet make my skin crawl. Get over yourself.

Cooroo · 16/09/2014 23:09

I've never come across such horror of bodily functions till I found mumsnet. It's a loo. Sometimes smelly things happen in it. You won't die. I can't imagine saying someone already in my house couldn't use the loo, it would be plain rude. (Someone delivering to the door slightly different if I was alone in the house I think.)

My DP drives for a living and the idea of a lunch break is laughable, they have far to many drops for that.

Azquilith · 16/09/2014 23:11

Hear hear Cooroo

TheFairyCaravan · 16/09/2014 23:16

I let people use my toilet. I prefer them not to use the one in my wet room, but if I'm on my own that's where I show them to as it is downstairs.

Recently the Sky man asked, as did the man who was reading the electric metre, of course I said they could use it. It's a toilet, a squirt of bleach and a wipe round and it's clean again.

I'm nice to the delivery drivers who come here, when it's hot I always offer them a drink. I treat people how I'd like to be treated.

Aeroflotgirl · 16/09/2014 23:20

Good on you thefairy, it's human kindness fgs, I could nit bring myself to say no if a tradesman asked to use the toilet, it's a basic human right. Tickets are made for wee and poo, a shirt of bleach it's all that is needed.

Aeroflotgirl · 16/09/2014 23:20

Toilets I meant

lucyclaudeclaude · 16/09/2014 23:22

Are you human?

spidey66 · 16/09/2014 23:23

Of course you are being unreasonable. It's not like the guy works in a shop/office/whatever where he has access to a loo whenever he needs it.

My job sometimes entails home visits and I occasionally have to ask to use the loo (depends on the client some of them have not such great housekeeping skills.) I've never been told no. I suffer IBS and an overactive bladder and wouldn't make it back to the office. When you got to go, you've got to go.

wafflyversatile · 16/09/2014 23:28

Perhaps there should be a mumsnet campaign to improve the working conditions of delivery drivers so they can take toilet breaks rather than have to go cap in hand to customers who may refuse them the use of their toilet. If people care that much about it.

AlpacaLypse · 16/09/2014 23:28

I need the loo rather more frequently now that my inner workings have been utterly trashed by twins. And DP needs it more frequently than he used to due to his inner workings being trashed by diabetes. Anyone who refuses either of us a polite request to borrow the downstairs loo will get a very civil 'okay' and a secret death-stare. With an associated 'Terribly sorry we're not available' next time you request our service with zero notice.