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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let a delivery guy use my toilet?

287 replies

msfreud · 16/09/2014 17:46

Just that, really. Seems to happen all the time that delivery guys - everything from Ocado to Warren & Evans, ask to use my toilet once inside my property!

So today the guy from Warren & Evans (delivering a bed) asked, and I said no on the grounds that I would have needed to let him into a part of the house that I was keeping "closed off" as the cat (who needs to be kept in and out of the way of deliveries etc. as we've just moved) was there and I didn't want her to get out of there. And to be honest I've now had several experiences of a delivery guy asking to use my loo and leave it stinking of piss so I really prefer not to. Only have one loo in the house and want to keep it nice and clean. It's a not a public toilet after all and he was not a friend or family, just a random stranger really.

OP posts:
AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 17/09/2014 23:02

I posted early on this thread that I do not allow strangers in my home unless DH is home and then disappeared. Sorry.

I know it is paranoid but, after being subjected to three home invasions, one of which was the result of accepting a supposed delivery for a neighbour, I am very uncomfortable allowing anyone in my home whom I don't know.

It is relatively easy to achieve. We schedule deliveries or repair work for the evenings when DH is home, our meters are all outside and do not require access and I no longer open the door for strangers.

I know that goes against popular opinion on this thread but it is how it is in my home.

Username12345 · 17/09/2014 23:04

after being subjected to three home invasions

Apparently doesn't matter. Makes you a bitch on this thread.

Hmm
FoxSticks · 17/09/2014 23:05

Unrelated to toilets, but she also told me that she turned up to another homebirth to find that the husband and his mates had used all the gas and air during their lads night the week before Shock He was in big trouble with his wife apparently.

writtenguarantee · 17/09/2014 23:50

Apparently doesn't matter. Makes you a bitch on this thread.

she's the only one who gave this reason. most of the other reasons were "ick".

so, if you have had home invasions, it's understandable.

Username12345 · 17/09/2014 23:55

she's the only one who gave this reason. most of the other reasons were "ick".

so, if you have had home invasions, it's understandable.

Ooooh, Annies reason has been deemed worthy. Isn't she a lucky lady.

AppleAndMelon · 17/09/2014 23:57

Bit mean. He probably just went up against your gate instead!

slithytove · 18/09/2014 00:01

My gas and air only arrives with the midwife, I guess there is a good reason for that! Shame as I could really do with some now, latent labour is agonising.

Bulbasaur · 18/09/2014 02:10

so, if you have had home invasions, it's understandable.

I've had a home invasion and I still let people use the loo and come over while I'm home alone. Not everyone reacts the same.

I can understand not letting someone in your house after something like that, but if they're already in there I don't see why you can't let them use the loo. It doesn't make sense to only have anxiety if they use the bathroom, while everywhere else they're fine.

It's not rude to keep an eye on the people in your house, you can keep a loose eye on them to make sure they don't wander into different rooms. While we have delivery people we close the door to our bedrooms because I don't want them to see my dirty underwear all over the floor if it's not something that belongs in the bedroom.

DontDrinkAndFacebook · 18/09/2014 03:11

I agree Bulbasaur. The peronal safety/burglary argument doesn't really stack up ether, it's not like some total stranger has knocked on the door just to ask to use the loo - I agree that might be suspicious. It's an official delivery driver from a specific company, presumably with a car registration and some sort of ID.

Surfsup1 · 18/09/2014 03:41

*"It's always good to consider how we would like to be treated , if we were in the other persons shoes."

Or how we would like our son or daughter to be treated if that was their job......….*

Exactamundo.

SomeCandyTalking · 18/09/2014 06:50

Can somebody explain what a home invasion actually is please?

DontDrinkAndFacebook · 18/09/2014 06:57

presumably a burglary or an abusive ex barging in, or similar?

Surfsup1 · 18/09/2014 07:11

Home invasion would be a burglary where the resident is home and is physically confronted by the intruder.
It's happened to me and I'd still let a delivery man use my loo.

SomeCandyTalking · 18/09/2014 07:20

Thanks. I thought it must be something like that but didn't want to presume. Horrendous.

JessieMcJessie · 18/09/2014 08:47

Warren Evans always assemble for you- the beds are not allen key self assembly type things. They send a team of 3 or 4 people and do it super fast with multiple high speed electric screwdrivers- it's like an F1 pitstop! They are also in my experience extremely polite and personable and have no problem arranging evening and weekend deliveries. I think that the OP was being very precious.

Hakluyt · 18/09/2014 09:20

So. If the health visitor or midwife asked to use your loo there we people who would say no????

needastrongone · 18/09/2014 14:51

I haven't read the whole thread so no idea whether I am in the minority or not (it came up on my Facebook feed), but yes, I would always let a delivery person, or other, into the house to use the toilet.

Bloke from BT was here today to fix the landline and he was the loveliest guy, used my loo and drank my coffee and stayed way longer than he ought to have done or I had time for, but was very interesting and personable. The builder came yesterday and the plumber is coming later. DH is away more than he is here so I don't have the option, the landline was down and the toilet won't stop flushing!!!

I can't honestly see a reason why not, for hygiene or safety reasons and would hope that others would treat me with the same attitude.

Smile
needastrongone · 18/09/2014 14:54

How do those that do say no phrase their answer? Maybe I am too nice and too trusting, but hope to remain so (despite experiences to the contrary, before you ask) Smile

Veritata · 18/09/2014 15:01

Username12345: you say you wouldn't let anyone, even someone like a doctor, physio, health visitor, midwife etc use your loo. Really? What reason would you give? And would you seriously do that even if she had to stay at your house a long time? What would you say to them if they were desperate?

temporaryusername · 18/09/2014 16:35

But would you let a home invader use your loo? If they really needed to and asked politely Wink..

GatoradeMeBitch · 18/09/2014 16:38

I wouldn't agree to it. It's different if someone has been invited into your house to do some work, of course they can use the loo. But there is no way I would let a random man into my home while I'm alone. It's far too risky. I don't give a fuck if #NotAllMen are rapists and murderers. It's enough that some are. And until society focuses on the ones that are instead of whining that it's so unfaaaair to #NotAllMen I won't be changing my mind!

rainbowinmyroom · 18/09/2014 16:40

You could say, 'No. Go shit somewhere else.'

GatoradeMeBitch · 18/09/2014 16:41

needastrongone But builders and plumbers are a different proposition to some random guy who pulls up in a white van to drop off a parcel. Though I I'd be surprised to see a courier ask to use the loo, they're usually sprinting back down the path to get to the next delivery before you can finish saying thank you.

icanmakeyouicecream · 18/09/2014 16:45

I reckon the majority of people here are talking shit and wouldn't actually turn anyone away.

rainbowinmyroom · 18/09/2014 16:46

I reckon a lot of people don't have people coming into their home often if ever.

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