To not let a delivery guy use my toilet?

[msfreud]

Just that, really. Seems to happen all the time that delivery guys - everything from Ocado to Warren & Evans, ask to use my toilet once inside my property!

So today the guy from Warren & Evans (delivering a bed) asked, and I said no on the grounds that I would have needed to let him into a part of the house that I was keeping "closed off" as the cat (who needs to be kept in and out of the way of deliveries etc. as we've just moved) was there and I didn't want her to get out of there. And to be honest I've now had several experiences of a delivery guy asking to use my loo and leave it stinking of piss so I really prefer not to. Only have one loo in the house and want to keep it nice and clean. It's a not a public toilet after all and he was not a friend or family, just a random stranger really.

I don't see what's wrong with giving the toilet a quick shoosh with bleach or a cleaning product if somebody strange uses your toilet

he probably doesn't have cooties.

It's your home and you shouldn't have to do something you're not happy with just to be 'nice'.

nice society we live in. I guess I should be glad I don't do deliveries and have a nice toilet near my office.

Spidey, do you not ask loo usage of the clients who are poor at housekeeping?

Unfortunately, the toilet was in the hall where we were signing firms so we all heard the man peeing.

unless you have your entire loo coated with noise cancelling technology, you will hear a man pee.

a bit much to not wash your hands and run it through your sons hair though. But that could easily be a male friend of yours doing that. What did the study find? 3/4 people don't wash their hands after going?

i find all this bleaching the toilet afterwards a bit weird. I don't know what y'all are doing on your toilets, but I certainly don't eat off mine. Do you use public toilets? Do you bleach it beforehand? Do you know many people have used it before you since it's been cleaned (hint: a lot).

I agree with writtenguarantee - the working class don't have dodgy wee you know. It doesn't need to be bleached immediately in case you catch something.

It's a toilet!!!

It's a toilet!!!

In someones home.

Some people aren't happy having strangers in their home. They may have their reasons why, you don't know their life stories and honestly, they don't need to justify their reasons to anyone.

If someone isn't getting the break they need to relieve themselves they need to find another job or take it up with their employer.

Totally unreasonable. What if your precious house had been bombed during the blitz? Where would you go then?

Delivery guy would have asked out of politeness. If you say no what the hell is he gonna do? It's not like everyone who brings your purchases to your door needs to use your facilities.

If you don't want a stranger in your home, then why do you invite a workman into it? I'm not suggesting that people invite randoms off the street to wee in their toilet, but if you've asked someone in to do a job it's a different story.
Ok, so the workmen of the world can all retrain to take desk/retail jobs so they can have a wee like the rest of us. Or the uptight middle class can just get over themselves and let people wee in their toilet!!!

Personal choice, but I think YABU.

It's unpleasant to be out and about all day needing the loo and not having time to stop off anywhere (and where?!) , and if I was him I'd think you were snobby or pretentious. I'm not saying you ARE, but if I was him in this situation that's what I would perceive from it.

Or the uptight middle class can just get over themselves and let people wee in their toilet!!!

That's just stupid. Not all people who have a problem with it are middle classes.

If you don't want a stranger in your home, then why do you invite a workman into it?

I imagine out of necessity.

But I don't get workmen in. I have family who do the work for me.

To be fair I shall wind my neck in - DP has just told me that in 12 years he's never been refused a wee, though he does ask very rarely and generally ask where he's been offered a drink.
And he's also just been in preparation for tomorrow, aimed very carefully and washed his hands thoroughly, so the ladies of the SE need not worry.

Yanbu
So say I'm at work on way to a meeting walking past a row of houses and I need to go. Like delivery bloke. Do I knock door of closest house and ask to use their loo? Or do I wait, find a public loo just as I train our DCs to do? Or is OP situation different?
Anyone remember the mumsnet post a while ago where an OP let in a delivery guy to her loo and he stayed in there for over an hour she was very scared

I think it is a bit different.

If you're on your way to a meeting, you weren't at a place of work long ago, and could have gone there. Or, if you're just off the train/bus, you could have gone at the station.

(I use you generally, not you personally).

A delivery person is on the road all day, without many opportunities to have a loo break.

I don't remember that post, but I'm sure It's very unusual for something like that to happen.

I don't see why citing extremes is relevant in a work a day situation. A guy in the loo for over an hour? That's got to be made up.

I see, also that the OP uses Freud in their nickname. Are we being messed about here?

Username, I imagine for most people who need to provide for their families, especially in areas where jobs aren't that plentiful, it really isn't as easy as that. I'm pretty sure 99% of employers if you said you needed more breaks to be able to find a public toilet to use whenever the occasion called for it would laugh and/or show you the door :/

If needs must you do what you have to. If this is the job you have then you deal with these things.

Yes it may not be nice, it may not be nice if your not offered food or drink during hot days either but they are there to do a job for which they are paid and that is where the commitment ends.

Like I said you don't know the reason someone may be uncomfortable, maybe they've been burgled, but they need some work doing out of necessity. But even if there is no reason, I find it shocking that people think a strangers needs trumps the homeowners feelings in their own homes!

Yes it may not be nice, it may not be nice if your not offered food or drink during hot days either but they are there to do a job for which they are paid and that is where the commitment ends.

you aren't expected to provide drinks/food. food is expected at lunch. they are expected to be adults and wait for lunch. you can have to use the bathroom at any time.

Like I said you don't know the reason someone may be uncomfortable,

sure we do. people here are stating their reasons. I haven't read the whole thread, but i didn't see past burglary as a reason (yea, unlikely warren and evans delivery guys are robbing places ON THE JOB. when they are already in the house). All I hear is "icky workmen".

sure we do. people here are stating their reasons.

I meant that in general terms, not specifically related to the thread.

you can have to use the bathroom at any time.

If you choose that type of job you need to deal with situations like this.

As this thread and Azquilith Wed 17-Sep-14 00:28:16 post suggests, a lot of people don't have a problem with it. But I think the people who do have a problem with it are entitled to make their own rules about what happens in their own homes.

I used to let delivery men use my bathroom, no problem. Then about 2 and a half years ago I had two men from a family firm come round to deliver a new dining table and chairs. They weren't from a company, they were just deliverers.

The older chap asked if he could use the bathroom before they left (there is one bathroom in my house, which is upstairs) - absolutely fine. I pointed him in the right direction and carried on going over and signing the paperwork / clearing the plastic wrap rubbish, as you do. The younger chap was downstairs with me. I heard shuffling about upstairs and went to take a look, which seemed to make younger chap nervous. Caught older guy coming out of bedroom door "Oh sorry, sorry, couldn't find it." The bathroom is on the landing and quite obvious.

At this point was feeling very uneasy (I was on my own) and got them out as quickly as I could. After they'd left I gave everything in my room the once over and all seemed OK.

Three days later my house was burgled. Nothing was trashed - it was a neat job. The burglars had gone right for the drawers in my bedroom where all my jewellery was kept. They didn't need to turn anything upside down as they knew where to look. The heirlooms from my grandparents, 21st birthday presents from my parents, an old, broken but valuable, pocket watch my great grandfather had in WW1 was gone. It was all gone

I was lucky in that some was recovered (I thank god I got my mothers engagement ring back) but most was never found.

The people who carried out the burglary were friends of the delivery guys. They had a routine. It turned out they'd done this before - I was the third victim.

So no, I will never let anyone I don't know come into my house and use my bathroom. It took me months to feel safe in my own home. I'm aware that most are fine but I'm not willing to take that risk ever again.

I don't care if you think that makes me precious or mean or paranoid. I hope you never have to experience feeling your home and your safety has been violated totally and completely. I hope you never have your confidence and your trust destroyed so utterly. If you still think that a strangers need to use a bathroom trumps my right to feel safe in my home, then Fuck You, quite frankly.

If you have very severe ocd and know you were not at a point you could cope with it, eg. you'd have spent hours cleaning it, been very upset and even then feel unable to use for weeks or months afterwards...IF all that applies you were not being unreasonable, but you might have seemed it to some who didn't know your condition.

I do have severe ocd and I would have said yes because I'm a pushover! But the ramifications could have been severe and long lasting especially if poo was left on the lid as it once was, that could only happen to an ocd sufferer.

If you don't have any problems with things like that then while I think you have the right to refuse, I do think you were being a bit mean, so not totally reasonable. Yes, most delivery or other travelling employees get to know all the local roadside services or supermarkets and nip in there, but sometimes they are rushing for a deadline and might really need the loo. So unless it is a major problem for you it is nice, though not compulsory, to let them use it.

FyreFly how awful, you make a good point. What bastards . You feeling safe is far more important. We have a loo near the front door so they wouldn't be wondering through bedrooms or out of supervision, I will certainly be thinking twice about all deliveries now though. You have a valid reason to say no for sure. Sorry you went through that, how utterly horrible .

I'm sorry to triple post but, blame the ocd if you like , I must correct that to 'wandering' through bedrooms, 2.39am or not I can't let that pass .

I don't care if you think that makes me precious or mean or paranoid. I hope you never have to experience feeling your home and your safety has been violated totally and completely. I hope you never have your confidence and your trust destroyed so utterly. If you still think that a strangers need to use a bathroom trumps my right to feel safe in my home, then Fuck You, quite frankly.

I've had a man break into our house with a weapon while we were still home. We naively opened the door for him. It was a terrifying experience. I still let people use the loo, because not everyone is like that, and each person deserves their own chance. We're stupid, willy-nilly about it, but I've still had a good chat with the repair man, and have let servicemen into my home when I'm by myself. Most people are just trying to do a job.

Honestly, and I'm not trying to be insensitive, but I don't see how someone stealing something makes you feel unsafe. Your personal safety was never in danger. I've had things stolen (from "friends" no less) and it only pisses me off that they took advantage. I don't feel unsafe or insecure in my own home because of it.

*We're not stupid willy-billy about it..

*willy-nilly.

Jesus take the wheel.