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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not let a delivery guy use my toilet?

287 replies

msfreud · 16/09/2014 17:46

Just that, really. Seems to happen all the time that delivery guys - everything from Ocado to Warren & Evans, ask to use my toilet once inside my property!

So today the guy from Warren & Evans (delivering a bed) asked, and I said no on the grounds that I would have needed to let him into a part of the house that I was keeping "closed off" as the cat (who needs to be kept in and out of the way of deliveries etc. as we've just moved) was there and I didn't want her to get out of there. And to be honest I've now had several experiences of a delivery guy asking to use my loo and leave it stinking of piss so I really prefer not to. Only have one loo in the house and want to keep it nice and clean. It's a not a public toilet after all and he was not a friend or family, just a random stranger really.

OP posts:
slithytove · 17/09/2014 03:12

Bulb - I guess because on this occasion her home was recced for burglary purposes. Weak spots were looked for so they could break in.

But another time what if the home is being recced for an attempted rape?

I think it's pretty understandable that when a stranger has broken into your home, your locked sanctuary where we are meant to feel safe, it renders one feeling unsafe.

You also have no idea if ones personal safety is in danger or not in the example of a burglary. Had the poster disturbed them, it could well have been.

Just because you still feel safe after such a harrowing experience (and massive Thanks for that, it sounds horrific) doesn't mean you can apply the same standards to everyone else.

Bulbasaur · 17/09/2014 03:45

I shouldn't have implied that she was being silly. Of course she's entitled to feel unsafe and allow or not allow who she wants in her home. If she doesn't feel safe she shouldn't let them in.

I was trying to point out that not everyone that has had a bad experience feels that way, and it's not just people who are naive that let strange men use their loo. Bad things happen, but not everyone lets that moment redefine their outlook on life either. If that makes sense.

My weird tic after that happened was getting nervous or on edge whenever anyone sat down next to me for a little bit. Not sure what that was all about.

I didn't think about what would happen if she had been home, most people I know that have been broken into treat it like an annoyance and then contact their insurance company to get new stuff. I was looking at taking items in and of itself and not the bigger picture.

TheNewStatesman · 17/09/2014 04:23

"Seems to happen all the time that delivery guys - everything from Ocado to Warren & Evans, ask to use my toilet once inside my property!"

I've NEVER had this happen.

Most likely, the first delivery guy who used your loo was bowled over by the pine-y fresh fragrance and 26 types of air freshening device displayed all over the room, and couldn't resist telling his mates how fantastic it was. Now they all want a go.

spidey66 · 17/09/2014 06:20

Slithylove.....
I work in mental health, most are fine but occasionally I go on home visits and the homes are (seriously) like How Clean is your House. I'm not one who's OCD but on some occasions I'd rather nip into Costa Coffee on my way back than use their loo. I'm really not fussy, but even I have certain standards!

Cooroo · 17/09/2014 06:28

That's a terrifying story above. But this man had already delivered a bed to the bedroom, so visiting a loo on the way out wasn't really going to give him much extra info.

DontDrinkAndFacebook · 17/09/2014 06:38

Nobody likes strangers using their bathroom. but sometimes we are the stranger.

Some of you people are weird and come across as self-centred and hostile.

chaseface · 17/09/2014 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontDrinkAndFacebook · 17/09/2014 10:47

I honestly think that you are far more likely to find someone from a working class background (or lower middle class) fretting and being precious about that kind of thing that anyone truly middle class or above.

Although the upper classes probably have a tradesman's loo. Grin

chaseface · 17/09/2014 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatWouldCaitlinDo · 17/09/2014 10:49

I've never had a delivery guy ask to use the loo, but when we were having big renovations done last year the workmen all knew to use the downstairs loo. It was because they got very grimy, and I was sick of having to clean the bathroom every day before I could give DC a bath (seriously, floor covered in plaster dust from boots, etc). They were very understanding.

WeAreEternal · 17/09/2014 10:56

I let delivery people use the loo, but I have a 'guest WC' which is close to the front door, so it's of no bother to me.
(That loo is purely for the use of guests, we have a second WC downstairs that we use)

If I only had the one toilet in our home, especially if it was upstairs, I would probably not be so inclined to say yes to anyone that asks.

writtenguarantee · 17/09/2014 10:57

If you choose that type of job you need to deal with situations like this.

isn't politely asking someone to use the loo dealing with it?

from the attitudes here, I will never again fault a delivery man from weeing in a bush.

SpanishFly · 17/09/2014 11:09

You were unreasonable to ask this on MN. If you made your decision, it doesn't matter what others think.

hippopootamus · 17/09/2014 11:12

What makes you think a delivery man will leave your loo stinking of piss or make a mess anymore than any member of the household / friend / family member who uses it?

It's probably awkward enough having to ask strangers if you can use their loo without risking them saying 'no'.

Have a bit of compassion. And the cat is a bullshit excuse - pick it up or shut it in another room.

Typical cat person attitude. Wink

Username12345 · 17/09/2014 11:18

isn't politely asking someone to use the loo dealing with it?

Yes, but they need a backup incase the person who's living there says no which they are completely entitled to.

It's not really that difficult of a concept to grasp.

MaidOfStars · 17/09/2014 11:26

I wouldn't refuse a delivery person needing the loo. I can cope with smells and even, horror, poo (in the event of non-flushing). And I figure that the chances of delivery guy actually being part of a burglary ring are pretty low.

I once used the loo in someone's house without even asking... Granted, it was an outside shack (door standing open) in Malaysia, and it was by far the most desperate I have ever been. Plus, there was a tip bowl outside so I figure the owner didn't mind, although I didn't know that beforehand.

Also, think about Crohn's etc. I would rather have someone poo in my loo than shit their pants in my hallway.

MaidOfStars · 17/09/2014 11:27

Yes, but they need a backup

Are you suggesting an empty Coke bottle in the van? You'd see someone do that than pee in your loo?

May09Bump · 17/09/2014 11:35

Ocado delivery drivers aren't allowed to ask to use customers toilets - but my one heavily hinted he needed to go. I let him, he didn't flush or wash his hands - yuk. I wasn't stalking him - the toilet is next to the kitchen so you can hear the taps go, and obviously I had to flush before I used the toilet. Not very impressed that this guy is handling food or at his manners - certainly will think twice about letting someone in again.

Username12345 · 17/09/2014 11:40

You'd see someone do that than pee in your loo?

I wouldn't be watching them.

It's their choice.

snottagecheese · 17/09/2014 11:42

Don't have time to read the whole thread but dear god, get over yourself!

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 17/09/2014 11:48

YABU and unkind.

neiljames77 · 17/09/2014 11:48

So if a delivery driver has just dropped off your shopping and starts clutching his stomach, saying that he regrets having the hot sauce on his kebab last night and all that real ale and could he possibly use your toilet as he is "touching cloth", you''d say, "top of the stairs, first on the left chief "?

MaidOfStars · 17/09/2014 11:50

I wouldn't be watching them. It's their choice

Can you please outline the "choice" they have?

MaidOfStars · 17/09/2014 11:51

So if a delivery driver has just dropped off your shopping and starts clutching his stomach, saying that he regrets having the hot sauce on his kebab last night and all that real ale and could he possibly use your toilet as he is "touching cloth", you''d say, "top of the stairs, first on the left chief "?

Yes. Because that suggests an immediate need. And better in my loo than in my hallway, FFS.

Username12345 · 17/09/2014 11:54

Can you please outline the "choice" they have?

Bushes/bottles/local shops etc.

MaidOfStars Why do you think a strangers needs trump the feelings of the person who lives there?

You really think a person should be made to feel uncomfortable/unsafe in their homes/sanctuary just to be nice? Hmm