This wasn't done on purpose, why can't I be forgiven

[PleaseLetMeKeepTheSportsCar]

Last week I went to visit my friend who was babysitting for her sisters young children - 8 and 10.

We were playing with the children and generally getting hyperactive, chasing them round the house etc and eventually we settled them down a bit.

I was walking around the room and asking the children about the photos on the wall and their dvd collections etc when I picked up one of these from the sideboard and reminisced about how I had one as a child. Without thinking I shook it upside down to a shriek.

My friends mother had a baby, she grew into a 2 year old and sadly passed away. Her face was etched into the pin art, the pin art that I had just removed.

Now none of them are talking to me and I feel devastated.
What I did was terrible but at the same time I didn't realise. Yes I should have checked, it was on a sideboard after all. I don't even know how/if I can make it up to her.

She treasured this for a year :(

I heard that too! Wondered if she had posted here as well.

If it was that important, they should point out to guests not to touch that as they come in. Yes write them a letter, saying how sorry you were. and leave it to them.

BOOP
Really? What did they say?

Read out on Heart Essex, really? They believed it?!

I know its further up thread, but latte anybody could have done that, it was not an ornament but a toy. Yes I go round my house telling my children about pictures, she was doing the same to her friends children, nothing wrong with that, not snooping they are on public display. Its not like she had her head in their cabinate.

Yes in a house of kids you would expect it was one of their toys

They read out the whole thread on the radio? What lazy presenting.

Pip no...the whole OP not the whole thread.

If there was an image already in it. I do think it was odd just to pick it up & shake it tbh.

Op might not have noticed, it's difficult to see the type of image. Op don't beat yourself up over it. Mabey write a letter or card saying how sorry you are, you dident know what it meant to them. Thinking of them and just leave it open to contact you if they wish. Be prepared though that she might not want to.

diddl me too! It's the sort of thing a small child might do.

Or anybody really, it's a toy and op said she had one as a kid. I love them, I still have one myself and it's kind of like a destresser

Op how are things. Please don't be hard on yourself, it was a genuine mistake that anybody could do, despite these oh so perfect Mumsnetters who can do no wrong. At the day, if it was that precious, they should have put it away or in a display cabinate, not where it's likely to get knocked or touched on the side. I hope that they forgive you, but please if they don't, don't worry, move on and you will find other friends.

Send a card with how very sorry you are for what you did, you were not aware of it's significance. Thinking of them with love and best wishes pleaseletmekeep

OP feels terrible herself because she feels terrible for the family. That's how empathy works for christ's sake. I think we could all get on our sanctimonious high horses worry if the OP felt just grrrrrreat.

OP I feel for you. Dunno why you posted in AIBU, but I doubly feel for you after the responses you've had here. You did nothing wrong. Nothing to do but write a heartfelt card and let it go. Forgive yourself. It sounds as though your friendship with the sister (i.e. deceased child's aunt) is a significant one - I'm sure given time it will endure.