Tell me your honest to god experiences with your newborn

[Mitsufishi]

I am going through hell for the third time around with a newborn.

Everyone says 'sleep when they skeep'. But how? Mine would never sleep, in bed, on me, maybe in a buggy or sling if in constant motion. They all went on to be horrific sleepers so 'this too' did not pass.

My mother says 'all newborns are like that, people who say otherwise are lying'. So it's just me who can't cope then?

Honestly tell me, what was your experience with a newborn. Because I have friends who seem to have had it easy and have seen evidence of it. My mother insists people are lying to show off. But I don't think there's such a fashion for that any more and that actually if anything people often tend to make things sound worse than they are these days rather than the other way around. In any case I've seen friends newborns and babies that effortlessly doze off and wonder a thousand times over what I'm doing wrong.

I think some babies do just sleep. My second did and I don't think it was anything I did. People always say things along the lines of 'well you are so much more relaxed second time around' which wasn't true at all as I had terrible PND. Honestly, I think they are born they way they are and you are lucky if you get a sleeper or work out what they need to get to sleep. I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time and hope it will get better.

some babies sleep unfortunately i still cant sleep by that time my eyes are welded open and i feel like ive downed a truck of red bull by the time i start to drop off the baby wakes up

Ds would only be rocked to sleep in a bouncer the first 6 months, now he's 13 months and we have to rock him in our arms and put him in his cot asleep! He woke two or three times a night until he turned one, now (please god) he finally seems to have figured it out, and did 11 hours straight last night. He had colic and silent reflux, and as lovely as he is he has made me realise I can definitely only go through this once. I hope things improve for you soon

your mum is wrong. Some babies are good sleepers.
I had 3 good sleepers. 2 of them slept through at 6-8 weeks.
One woke every 2 hours until aged 6 months and then slept through (I did CC though)
They were all bf.
It was nothing I did, it was as they arrived!

TBH, I would be looking at things like silent reflux, allergies/intolerances, as while I do think newborns wake often, small babies do need to sleep, and usually the problem is that the only place they will sleep is on you, so they sleep but you don't.

So sorry you are going through this.

DS would only feed to sleep and sleep for longer than 30 mins on his tummy on me for months (during the day).. He could feed to sleep and sleep for 30ish mins on his side, but never on his back. I'm sure he had (undiagnosed) reflux issues though.

I watched a lot of tv from the sofa with a sleeping baby on my chest.. Not quite sleep, but it was relaxing and mostly cosy. The hard part was eating and peeing...

We co-slept at night, which was a life saver for me.

My last 2 newborns were amazing slept 10-5 then 830 from birth etx.both co slept at night then cot alone at 6wk slept 730/1030 dream feed then until 830/9 (not lying!)

People always say how awake and active I am never tired. Well you wouldn't be ?? Do not really tell people in real life.

Poddle pod is fab for daytime sleeps third DC difficult to get to nap in daytime.

Last 2 did gina ford day one and EBF just easy babies.

But I had / have lots if health problems in pregnancy and after thyroid huge weigh gain. So you never get everything easy!!

You are prob slim and healthy :-)

This is no help but it winds me up no end when people think that if your baby sleeps well then you are lying to show off!

I've heard it plenty of times here (not directly to me but generally) and the fact is some babies are contented little lazy sods who sleep well, and for some reason both mine were, but that's not "showing off" because I did jack all to create the situation - it just happened.

And some don't, for the same reasons some do - knowbody knows!

It does suck though if you are constantly jiggling and juggling, it can really take its toll, my brother's daughter was like this and at nearly 3 she is still a light sleeper and they are having to creep around a bit - no, that didn't cause it, if they didn't creep around a bit she would never sleep!

(one example is she has NEVER slept in a car and NEVER slept on a plane. Till I heard this I was always of the opinion that a child who doesn't sleep in a carseat is simply not tired - so unless she's a young Margaret Thatcher type who will do well all her life on 4 hours a day then she must surely be tired eventually!)

x

DS would wake every 2 hours for feeding & only after 12-15 weeks thought that sleeping in the day was a good idea.

DD thought she'd do a bit better & refused to sleep unless held in someone's arms or co slept. Oh and she refused to take bottle at all & fed every few hours for 10 months. Then she didn't sleep through 10-6 until 14 months.

Some kids just don't fucking sleep.

You know I think there is something to that Rox19 had very easy pregnancies and popped back to my original size within minutes. I'd trade all that for one night of sleep in a heartbeat!

you are right Rox.
ds was a great sleeper, very easy baby.

But birth was horrendous and I couldn't walk properly til baby was 8 weeks old!
He was also a child who was very hard work aged 7-10.

I had one that was awful (DD) and one that was reasonable (DS).

I could not cope with newborns - and my 3rd was almost the worst - which feels pretty shit as you think you should have some "earth mother instinct" by then!!!!

Anyway, I have never ever ever slept during the day (when I've had a newborn) - I have with older DC only as I can relax that they are self-sufficient while I doze. To me I can't relax if I know I might be "dragged" out of a doze at a second's notice with a blood curling cry that demands immediate attention such as milk or a cuddle or a nappy change. Also with DC 3 you may well not be able to sleep due the older DC.

My DC 1 did sleep 7-7 from 9 weeks old but I must say I think that was because I may well have needed serious help if she didn't as I was so overwhelmed with first-time motherhood! My others certainly did not and my DC3 is still waking regularly during the night at 15 months old....

Didn't do anything different with DS either. Just an easier baby (and pregnancy) all round.

Sorry but mine did both sleep well. Demand fed them, otherwise carried on as usual. If friends had a dinner party, we just took with us, passed them around and they fell asleep on one of us at some point. Afraid to say both still sleep well at 3 and 4 years

A few things I think helped:

• tried to never feed to sleep. Fed when alert and then played a bit ie funny faces/ massage etc, so they always went down to sleep without being half asleep first or fed. Meant I think they didn't associate sleep with milk
• never crept around. Ie if fell asleep in car seat would take out car seat into sling, then once home move again into Moses basket. Meant they got used to being moved when asleep. They always slept in same room as us so lots of background noise

artandco you were very lucky. That being noisy thing is bollocks. Some
Babies are always on edge (mine were). I tried the 'oh carry on as normal thing' and was brought down very quickly.

Dd slept during the day, but only on my chest. That made it impossible to do anything while she did sleep, I couldnt even sleep myself. All I could do was chat on the phone to my mum (everyone else was at work) but she spent the whole time on the phone moaning 'are you letting that baby sleep on you again? You should put her in her bed/let her cry it out' etc.

Longest period of sleep she did was 4h about 8pm-midnight, so I used to sleep then too. Unfortunately I am now stuck in that sleep routine and still fall asleep at 8pm now dd is 2 1/2

When mine was very tiny she would sleep whenever and wherever. When she was a few weeks old, we started having to help her sleep - things which worked were swaddling, white noise, feeding or rocking to sleep. Then when she was four months or so everything stopped working except feeding to sleep.

when she was about one things started to improve and by 18 months she was almost always sleeping through.

newborn DS slept all the time and practically didn't cry. I had no sleep deprivation and plenty of time and energy to do anything I wanted. Very, very different experience from a coliky non-sleeping baby.

My experience of a newborn was quite simply not enjoyable. I struggle to understand anyone who does enjoy newborn babies as none of them are easy. It is monotonous and tedious.

My DNephew could settle himself to sleep from day one. He'd happily just sit in a restaurant and dose off to sleep in his pram whilst everyone had dinner. He didn't need to be held or be fed to sleep or rocked.

DS came along shortly afterwards and it took me far too long to realise that I had to get him to sleep and that he wouldn't just sleep when he was tired.

I am also very uptight and couldn't just accept that some babies sleep and others don't. I became obsessed with sleep and solving DS's problem sleeping. In reality he wasn't that bad - by 10 weeks he was going down at 7pm, dream feed at 10, one more feed at 3am and then up for the day at 7am. This is good but hearing about those babies who sttn 12 hours at 6 weeks just filled me with confusion and the feeling that I was a bad mother because he didn't sleep.

I'm never doing it again. Feeling such a failure was awful and I just want to carry on enjoying my fab DS as he is now.

My only advice would be to just try and go with the flow but I would never be able to take that advice on board!

God, I was knackered. DD is one and still doesn't sleep well, and yes, I do often wonder if it's just because I've done something seriously wrong - I just can't bring myself to leave her screaming.

I took advantage of any kind offers of a few hours baby watching, so I could grab a few extra winks. I was still seriously tired for a very long time. Fortunately DD otherwise was a fairly easy baby. I do remember a few days on mat leave when through a combo of early nights and DH taking her in the morning when I had had enough sleep - I remember suddenly thinking, 'oh, this is how much fun maternity leave could be if I wasn't permanently exhausted!' Didn't last long, unfortunately.

I have massively increased respect for single parents and people who don't get that opportunity for occasional relief. It is hard.

A mixture of both . Only 1 dd. She was dreadfully unsettled with no routine and pretty good with one. Then at about 6 mths she slept really badly and this up and down thing carried on till she was about 2. Not awful, not great. I feel for you!

mine sleep ok but I have poo problems with mine, constipation really and that's what got to me.

I had one moderately good sleeper and one nightmarish scream zombie from hell. DS (first one) slept easily during the day but was very variable at night, until about 10 months at which point he suddenly got the whole bedtime thing, insisted on going to bed at 7pm every night (it was truly weird, he would stand at the gate between the sitting room and the kitchen at the same time every night) and pretty much go into a coma until 5am. So, great sleeping but very early waking. Plus his routine, which he came up with of his own accord, was absolutely set in stone, there was no shifting it.

DD, well...she was a different kettle of fish. Was still waking anywhere between 3 and 7 times a night at 17 months. When she was little there was no way she would ever sleep anywhere but in my arms. As a result I would feed her to sleep at around 8 then sit and watch tv with her in my arms till about 10, then DH would brush my teeth for me (yes, really, I couldn't put her down or she'd scream!) and I'd carefully get into bed with her still cradled on my arm and sleep all night like that. Only improved when I stopped bfing. She now sleeps through some nights (at 19 months) but often wakes once for about half an hour. She's never up before 7 though. So, shit sleeping but not up so early.

Newborns are horrid creatures.

My ds never slept a night through until he was nearly 3. I tried everything.