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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School closure for a funeral?

291 replies

saywhaaaaat · 10/09/2014 21:14

Name changed - there is likely to be someone who knows me or the place I am refering to!

So, DC is back at school. A letter arrives on Monday from the head teacher informing of the sad passing of a teacher who had worked at the school for some time (20+ years). The letter also informs us that the school will be clsoed on the day of the funeral to allow all staff to attend. I thought this was a bit odd (as a public sector worker I have never encountered this type of response to a funeral) and hoped the funeral would take place on a Saturday.

Today another letter arrives. The entire school (400 odd children) is to be closed for an entire day next week.

In my experience it is usually more than acceptable for one or two people to represent the work place at funeral. I can't imagine many places where it would be acceptable to close an entire service for an entire day for a funeral.

This is bugging me but happy to accept that I am a mean so and so that has no heart etc....

So hit me. AIBU?

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 10/09/2014 21:15

Yes.

PenisesAreNotPink · 10/09/2014 21:16

Yes, we had this before - you are unreasonable.

20 years will likely mean all the staff knew them.

HaPPy8 · 10/09/2014 21:17

Yes, a mean so and so with no heart, sorry!

WaxyDaisy · 10/09/2014 21:17

YABU

Grow some compassion.

PenisesAreNotPink · 10/09/2014 21:17

It's not about 'representing' the workforce if you know them - it's about mourning a colleague. Its also a chance to teach the children about it appropriately.

Only1scoop · 10/09/2014 21:17

Yabu and rather cold.

Original poster
saywhaaaaat · 10/09/2014 21:18

Ok.

So say a nurse who has worked on a ward for 20 years dies. Can the ward be closed for the day for the funeral?

Just curious about the MN boundaries for this sort of thing.

OP posts:
LatteLoverLovesLattes · 10/09/2014 21:19

It does seem very odd.

hazeyjane · 10/09/2014 21:19

Yabvu.

Only1scoop · 10/09/2014 21:20

A hospital cannot be compared to a school IMO.

deakymom · 10/09/2014 21:20

dejavu

Olivo · 10/09/2014 21:21

I would imagine in add nursing situation shifts may be changed to accommodate those wanting to attend. Teachers can't swap shifts.

I would be mightily peed off if my friends and colleagues were told they couldn't attend my funeral. I would also imagine a number of children might want to attend that teacher's funeral too.

JeanSeberg · 10/09/2014 21:21

It's completely different to a hospital ward and YABU for thinking that a funeral would be on a saturday.

OutDamnSpot · 10/09/2014 21:21

I work in a school. Last year we lost a very long serving member of staff. It was upsetting for staff and students. The school did not shut for his funeral but many staff and students went, facilitated by the school. Those who remained were looked after by newer members of staff who did not feel the same need to attend funeral.

I think perhaps yanbu to be surprised about the closure but please don't underestimate people's connection to the deceased. Would you expect 2 out of 10 grandchildren to attend a grandparents funeral to represent all the GC? All the deceased's colleagues may well want to attend if they have worked together for a long time.

nancy75 · 10/09/2014 21:21

The head at DD's school died a couple of years ago and yes the school did close on the day of the funeral - the staff had worked with her for a long time and I thought it was the right thing for them to do.

FlowersForAlgernon · 10/09/2014 21:21

YABU.

WooWooOwl · 10/09/2014 21:21

I think YABU.

It's not about the school sending representatives just because it's the done thing, it's about a probably much loved and respected colleague whose life has ended and people who care about her and her family wanting to be at her funeral.

I get that it's going to be inconvenient for parents, but it's highly likely that a teacher who has been at this school 20+ years has given way over and above what she needed to to keep her job, so I don't think a little inconvenience for parents is too much to ask for.

The head will have considered the parents when making the decision to close the school, and has chosen to do it anyway, probably for very good reason.

Whiskwarrior · 10/09/2014 21:21

If you close a school for the day no one is likely to die. Closing the ward of a hospital is a completely different thing - and you know it.

Didn't we have an extremely similar thread a couple of weeks back?

CrapBag · 10/09/2014 21:21

YABVU.

High chance that most if not all of the staff knew her well and want to pay their respects. You cannot compare it to nursing.

Have some compassion. Hmm

TheFairyCaravan · 10/09/2014 21:22

YABU

DS1's old form tutor is terminally ill. She was the most lovely teacher, she loved him, he respected her greatly and she was an asset to the school. They won't close for her funeral, but they jolly well should!

MyFairyKing · 10/09/2014 21:23

Do you seriously think that a hospital and a school are comparable?!

MaryShelley · 10/09/2014 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 10/09/2014 21:23

We had this exact thread a few weeks ago. An Australian OP if I remember correctly. In that case the majority thought the head was right to close for the funeral. A minority thought the school should have stayed open with only members of staff who knew the deceased attending.

vestandknickers · 10/09/2014 21:24

You are being very unfeeling.

Funerals are a very important part of the grieving process. Just because you happen to work in a school doesn't mean you don't have a right to grieve.

Please show some compassion and some respect for other people's feelings.

I hope you haven't shared these views with your children.

MomOfABeast · 10/09/2014 21:24

In the case of a nurse on a ward dying I would hope that the ward could remain open with only new nurses who hadn't worked with the nurse in question in addition to agency staff. In the case of a school that wouldn't work.

Obviously in the case of life and death situations there sent the option of simply shutting down but I'd hope revision could be made (what would happen for example f a tummy bug meant lots of nurses were off sick? You could put into place whatever would happen in that situation). A school isn't life or death though so it can simply be closed for one day.

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