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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School closure for a funeral?

291 replies

saywhaaaaat · 10/09/2014 21:14

Name changed - there is likely to be someone who knows me or the place I am refering to!

So, DC is back at school. A letter arrives on Monday from the head teacher informing of the sad passing of a teacher who had worked at the school for some time (20+ years). The letter also informs us that the school will be clsoed on the day of the funeral to allow all staff to attend. I thought this was a bit odd (as a public sector worker I have never encountered this type of response to a funeral) and hoped the funeral would take place on a Saturday.

Today another letter arrives. The entire school (400 odd children) is to be closed for an entire day next week.

In my experience it is usually more than acceptable for one or two people to represent the work place at funeral. I can't imagine many places where it would be acceptable to close an entire service for an entire day for a funeral.

This is bugging me but happy to accept that I am a mean so and so that has no heart etc....

So hit me. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
saywhaaaaat · 10/09/2014 21:24

Mmm, well they are both public sector organisations that provide a public service that is needed by a huge number of people.

I know you all think I'm being cold and horrible - believe me when I say I am not either of those things! Just a little confused.

OP posts:
missorinoco · 10/09/2014 21:24

I would find this surprising.

LingDiLong · 10/09/2014 21:24

It's not the same as shutting a ward though is it? No children are likely to die or suffer in any way because the school is shut for one day. What is your main issue with this? Are you concerned for your child's education or pissed off because you have to find childcare?

shabbs · 10/09/2014 21:26

My DS3 was killed 22 years ago.....on the day of his funeral school closed. The majority of the pupils at his primary school came to his funeral...all walking hand in hand the short journey to the church. All the staff came as well. It was the most touching thing I have ever seen.

I personally think you are being unreasonable but thats because I sadly have first hand experience of this situation.

Only1scoop · 10/09/2014 21:26

Why don't you voice your 'confusion' to school then.

Maybe they will clarify for you.

Pooka · 10/09/2014 21:26

Presumably a hospital can continue to functionby drafting in bank or agency nurses or a rejigging of shifts.

If the Senior leadership team of the school wish to attend the funeral of a friend and colleague, then it becomes an issue of school safety.

For example, during one of the recent strike days, there were some teachers still able to come into school because of their union membership. The head could still come in because he was member of different union too. But the deputy, and both assistant heads, were on strike and having liaised with the local authority it was concluded that the lack of SLT added to the striking class teachers would be unsafe to open.

It's entirely possible that the staff member who has died was well known and liked by the individual class teachers and senior leadership. They all want to attend the funeral because this is the funeral of a friend. It's extremely difficult to be picky about which day a funeral will be on. You get what you're given in the most part. It is also likely that the funeral will be held at a time totally "inconvenient" to a school day (whereas the shift pattern/24 hour nature of a hospital ward is somewhat different).

DaisyFlowerChain · 10/09/2014 21:27

YABVU, it's only right that everyone who wants to go gets to attend. Who would begrudge a person attending a funeral of somebody they have worked with for years.

Sirzy · 10/09/2014 21:27

I am with the others. One day of a closed school to allow respects to be paid to a member of staff who gave 20 years service to the school doesn't sound extreme to me.

Panzee · 10/09/2014 21:29

shabbs I am sorry for your loss.

Whiskwarrior I kept checking the date because I have read the same thread! Either it's the same school or another school has also suffered a sad event.

DancingDinosaur · 10/09/2014 21:30

Its not the same as shutting a hospital though is it. I'm a public sector worker too. When one of my colleagues (and friend) died, the office shut for the day as we wanted to go to his funeral. We directed the phones to another public sector office who had kindly agreed to take our phone calls and deal with emergencies. YABVVU.

JeanSeberg · 10/09/2014 21:30

You sound even less compassionate the more you post....

Bowlersarm · 10/09/2014 21:30

I'm with the others too. YABU. And it isn't helpful to compare it to another organisation. It's a school, not a matter of life or death.

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/09/2014 21:31

Arf at representing the work force.

You think it's just going to be a token "show face then piss off" event?

Twenty years beans that my if the staff would have had them in their lives a long time. .They possibly even taught them growing up.

Where's your compassion

DancingDinosaur · 10/09/2014 21:31

I'm sorry Shabbs.

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/09/2014 21:31

Means

Many of

MyFairyKing · 10/09/2014 21:31

"Mmm, well they are both public sector organisations that provide a public service that is needed by a huge number of people."

Don't be obtuse. An education is crucial and life expanding but a hospital saves lives.

gloriafloria · 10/09/2014 21:32

YABVU. A long standing colleague has passed away and of course the school should close to allow everyone to attend and pay their respects. At our school we very sadly have had similar situations and afaik there were no objections to close from anyone.

Original poster
saywhaaaaat · 10/09/2014 21:32

No children are allowed to go to the funeral, nor are any parents as far as I can tell.

This isn't about childcare or my child's education even. I am actually just curious if this seems ok to other people as I've never come across this before.

I totally understand the need for people to grieve and attend funerals. I sadly have too much experience of that myself. But it's not always possible to go in person due to distance, family commitments, ill health or even work commitments.

I'll be in the corner trying to locate my compassion! Thank you all.

OP posts:
Stealthpolarbear · 10/09/2014 21:32

In tithe other thread the staff member was the finance manager. Only some of the staff actually knew her. But all needed to attend her funeral -including those that were strangers to her, so the school closed

littlewhitebag · 10/09/2014 21:33

One of my colleagues died and all our team attended her funeral. We are a front line social work team but it was decided that we would all attend as a mark of respect for our lovely and well respected colleague.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 10/09/2014 21:33

YABU.
Your analogy is crap. On a hospital ward, the nurse would be unlikely to have worked with the same team every day in quite the same way anyway, but also the patients won't know and miss and mourn her in the same way, because it's such a different environment.
But that doesn't matter, you're still being unreasonable and cold.

PiperIsOrange · 10/09/2014 21:35

This is a school i would love to send my DC.

Teachers are human and i really don't think they could teach to the usual standard on a day that a friend and co worker funeral is being conducted.

mamalino · 10/09/2014 21:35

It's one day. One day of your child's schooling. Maybe the school can teach some empathy for your children on the remaining days they are open. You don't seem to have much.

Can't believe you said you hoped the "funeral would take place on a Saturday". God forbid someone inconveniences you by...errr dying.

YABVU

Roseformeplease · 10/09/2014 21:36

We closed early for the funeral of a colleague some years ago. Pupils went home at lunchtime so all staff could attend. The school is tiny and we all knew him well. However, the Council tried to stop the Head. The otherwise rather ridiculous head made a stand against the Council and I admired him for it. We needed to grieve; we needed to show he was loved; he was our friend.

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 10/09/2014 21:36

No children are allowed to go to the funeral, nor are any parents as far as I can tell.

allowed ??? is it a private church or crematorium? Funerals, much like weddings are public service and any one can turn up. Athough no on in their right mind would want 600 snivelling KS1&2's turning up