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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School closure for a funeral?

291 replies

saywhaaaaat · 10/09/2014 21:14

Name changed - there is likely to be someone who knows me or the place I am refering to!

So, DC is back at school. A letter arrives on Monday from the head teacher informing of the sad passing of a teacher who had worked at the school for some time (20+ years). The letter also informs us that the school will be clsoed on the day of the funeral to allow all staff to attend. I thought this was a bit odd (as a public sector worker I have never encountered this type of response to a funeral) and hoped the funeral would take place on a Saturday.

Today another letter arrives. The entire school (400 odd children) is to be closed for an entire day next week.

In my experience it is usually more than acceptable for one or two people to represent the work place at funeral. I can't imagine many places where it would be acceptable to close an entire service for an entire day for a funeral.

This is bugging me but happy to accept that I am a mean so and so that has no heart etc....

So hit me. AIBU?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 11/09/2014 08:11

Dd's - the one which closed - had no issue with children attending funerals and authorised them.

My infant school also authorises funeral absences

TightyMcTight · 11/09/2014 08:22

If I die I expect the whole WORLD to close. Not just the school I work in.

Closing the school isn't just about letting teachers go. To me it's about the actual school itself mourning her loss and recognising it by closing.

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 11/09/2014 08:23

YANBU

As sad as it is I don't think a school should close not just for educational reasons but also it can cause a massive hassle for parents and no I'm not cold or heartless. If all staff wanted to go to the funeral they should have organised cover.

If this happened I would be fucked up as I'm a single parent, no nearby family and I have to have at least 2 weeks notice to take annual leave.

TightyMcTight · 11/09/2014 08:26

School can't just 'organise cover' though. How? You can't just leave a bunch of random supply teachers in charge of 400 children.

Sirzy · 11/09/2014 08:26

Yes you are cold and heartless. You can post your not but the rest of your post shows that to not be the case!

Surely we should also be showing children the importance of compassion, the importance of grieving for ones we love and the importance of communities pulling together to provide support at tough times?

Yes it can make things a hassle for one day but look at the bigger picture maybe? There is no reason parents can't work together to sort childcare issues.

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 11/09/2014 08:37

Even if the supply teachers just put a DVD on and play some games for the day. Anyway, why should I have to supply cover, just so teachers can get a day of work and go for a piss up in the pub. (I've seen it happen before). IMO the colleagues who were really close should just go.

Floralnomad · 11/09/2014 08:41

When my son was in year 10 one of the teachers died ( his wife was also a teacher at the school) , the school closed for the afternoon and any student who wanted to attend was escorted down to the church for the funeral - most of them went . I would think its normal practice .

DancingDinosaur · 11/09/2014 08:55

it can cause a massive hassle for parents and no I'm not cold or heartless

Ermm, yes you are. Someone died. Her friends want to attend her funeral. But they shouldn't because its a massive hassle for parents? I say that was cold, heartless and pretty damn selfish too.

DancingDinosaur · 11/09/2014 08:57

If this happened I would be fucked up as I'm a single parent,

So what do you do when your children are sick then??? Something like a funeral needs to be treated in the same way.

Noodledoodledoo · 11/09/2014 09:04

My mum died whilst still teaching - had been off school for 2 weeks prior to her death. She had worked at the school for 20 + years and was a large part of the school community (400+ students)

The head arranged to close the school for the afternoon - we arranged to have a memorial service in the afternoon to assist staff in being able to attend. We did have to ask school to request that children didn't attend - the church we held it in had to be used 3 times for the school carol service to fit them all in so would not have worked if a large majority turned up. We didn't enforce it though so I expect some where there.

In a Primary school there is such a feeling of community it would be hard to say who could/couldn't go and as others have said between parents I am sure childcare issues could be resolved.

School did a seperate event in an assembly for the children so they had someway to remember her - she had worked as SENCO for many years so knew children from Recpetion to Yr 6!

Only1scoop · 11/09/2014 09:04

'I would be fucked up as a single parent'

'Watch dvd's so the teachers can have a day off and a piss up'

Hmm
WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 11/09/2014 09:09

If DD has a cold then she comes into work with me for a couple of hours so I can do all the things I need to get done that day, if she has D&V then I take the full day off but work wouldn't allow me to take a day off at such short notice for a reason like that.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 11/09/2014 09:10

Well, you're a little charmer, wherehas1999 Why, indeed, should the dead teacher have got time off just to lounge about in bed and not bother breathing?

For fuck's sake.

starfishmummy · 11/09/2014 09:10

Unless the funeral is at a very awkward time then the school does not need to close for a day. It could close for the morning, or afternoon allowing staff to go to the funeral. I would be annoyed if they were given time to go to the piss up wake as well.

And at a time when we are reading in the press and on here that kids are being denied permission to take uthorised time off for funerals it does seem hypocritcal that the staff are allowed to.

HappyAgainOneDay · 11/09/2014 09:20

naty1

Why do you think a funeral is always 'religious'? Funerals can be all sorts of commemorations or celebrations. I'be been to Christian , Humanist and other funerals. God / Jesus has not been mentioned at all of them.

neverputasockinatoaster · 11/09/2014 09:52

A few years ago a lady that had worked in my old school died.
She had been there for years.
When she died the Head said if anyone wanted to attend her funeral he would arrange it, if we all wanted to go he would close.
I was very pregnant at the time and suffering from all day sickness so decided not to go but the funeral cortege drove past the school and stopped. I was among a number of staff outside to pay my respects.
When my grandfather died the whole village stopped as the hearse drove him from the church to the grave yard.
If a person has been in the heart of a community for 20 years then it is obvious that many, many people will want to go and grieve. The school is doing the right thing.

hatsybatsy · 11/09/2014 10:13

YANBU

My boss died of a heart attack in the office some years ago. It was traumatic for all concerned.

The day of his funeral - whoever wanted to go was allowed time off, but the business carried on functioning. About 10 of us went from one office and 4 from another if I remember correctly.

But our business carried on as normal - not everyone knew him well so why would they have given everyone the day off?

MidniteScribbler · 11/09/2014 10:22

I would be annoyed if they were given time to go to the piss up wake as well.

We can get pissed outside of a school hours as often as we like. But heaven forbid someone dares to die and inconvenience someone and their colleagues want to celebrate their life and commiserate about their passing.

Some people are just cold hearted twerps.

Kendodd · 11/09/2014 10:47

YANBU

I don't think the school should close. It is very sad but I really don't understand why the funeral couldn't be at the weekend for a start. I haven't been to many funerals but the two most recent have both been on a Saturday. The most recent one I didn't even know the deceased but knew his wife and really wanted to show my support for her, I couldn't have gone had it been in the week. The teachers and children (with parents) who knew him very well could have been covered and the rest could have gone to the wake after school.

I'm a bit unclear if this was somebody who used to teach at the school or a teacher who was working at the school at the time they died? I think a special assemble at school would defiantly be good if it was the latter and the children knew him.

I remember when I was at secondary school a pupil died in an accident. The school didn't close but all the pupils and teachers who wanted to when to stand on the road outside the school when the funeral cars when past. I think everybody when and stood outside, it was so sad.

Also for all the people who think it's right that the school close, would it also be right if it was the middle of the GCSEs?

lupo5 · 11/09/2014 10:52

I don't think it's unusual.My DD doesn't have school tomorrow for the same reason. She just started secondary and we knew first day that tomorrow will be funeral for the teacher who worked in school for more than 30 years.

HappyAgainOneDay · 11/09/2014 10:54

Kenndodd

Have you ever tried to arrange a funeral for a Saturday or Sunday? I'd like to hear from anyone who has been able to do so. Perhaps Mr Sowerberry a funeral director will come and tell us if it's possible.

IrianofWay · 11/09/2014 10:55

Happened at our school last term. Never even though to question it. Most of the staff and quite a few of the pupils and ex-pupils knew the teacher well and were very fond of her. In fact there were so many people at the funeral the church was overflowing and mourners were standing in the churchyard.

Kendodd · 11/09/2014 11:05

Have you ever tried to arrange a funeral for a Saturday or Sunday?

No I haven't, but as I said the last two funerals I've been to and have known about, so I haven't missed any because they were in the week, they were both on a Saturday each time the person had died about 10 days before.

Kendodd · 11/09/2014 11:18

Also the person arranging the funeral would have known it was a school day. I don't think they would have done this with the expectation that the school would close for the day, so would have known some people wouldn't have been able to come.

If I was the teacher who had died or their family, I wouldn't have wanted the school to close infact I'd be mortified to inconvenience everybody so much. Maybe that's just me though.

Sirzy · 11/09/2014 11:21

I would be honoured that my relative was thought of so highly the school would shut.

Unless they have a massive backlog non of the crematoriums locally offer services on a Saturday.