School closure for a funeral?

[saywhaaaaat]

Name changed - there is likely to be someone who knows me or the place I am refering to!

So, DC is back at school. A letter arrives on Monday from the head teacher informing of the sad passing of a teacher who had worked at the school for some time (20+ years). The letter also informs us that the school will be clsoed on the day of the funeral to allow all staff to attend. I thought this was a bit odd (as a public sector worker I have never encountered this type of response to a funeral) and hoped the funeral would take place on a Saturday.

Today another letter arrives. The entire school (400 odd children) is to be closed for an entire day next week.

In my experience it is usually more than acceptable for one or two people to represent the work place at funeral. I can't imagine many places where it would be acceptable to close an entire service for an entire day for a funeral.

This is bugging me but happy to accept that I am a mean so and so that has no heart etc....

So hit me. AIBU?

Haven't read all posts so sorry if duplicating. I've sadly been to too many colleagues' funerals over the years. Well attended by work mates with the employer's blessing. But all close colleagues could attend without impacting the business... And no teacher:child ratio. I support the school in allowing that (as inconvenient as it is for parents). I wonder if this will replace a teacher training day? That said, it jars a big that my best mate who is a teacher wasn't allowed time off to attend my dad (her '2nd dad') 's funeral

That's bad, lilo. mignonette, leave for students to attend funerals has nothing to do with the school or LA though - it is government policy regarding student absence, not something set by school or LA. Compassionate leave to attend funerals for staff is at the head's discretion - my head is fantastic at understanding teachers are humans too, and doing her best to allow her staff to attend things like this. In return, she gets huge amounts of loyalty and unpaid extra time from us. I am very aware many heads are not as understanding or compassionate.

The school is right to close. It teaches the children about grief and valuing other human beings. A valuable life lesson.

Haggis But surely the school has a responsibility to administrate this and some discretion as to whether leave is allowed?

I do hope that the school is aware of what a mixed message this sends to pupils. "Our grief is more significant and supported by law than yours is" sadly.

As for the government- well we all know how understanding they are.

Can I ask the people who think it,s right the school closed, if you were the teacher who died, wouwant the school to close, knowing that this would inconvenience many, many people who didn't vn vven n know you v

I know almost every teacher in my children's schools.

The only ones I don't know are those who have joined very recently.

Pictures - that is how it is for you - I don't.

3 class intakes a year, over 50 staff. How many of those would I meet let alone properly KNOW when my child was in reception year? Or Year1 or even Y6 ... when I drop and run at the school gates? Like most of the parents round here.

Dunno if this has already been mentioned but I'd have thought the school will have to drop a teacher training day later in the year??? To compensate for this? I thought schools legally had to provide "x" days of education?

Though even if this isn't the case you can't begrudge the teachers for wanting to goto the funeral. Its not like its going to be a frequent occurrence.

dropping an inset day would be a pain for parents though... they are usually tacked on to a holiday or a weekend - plans get made - especially for holiday time ones.

we had one cancelled and had to argue our point with the head to get the absence for that day approved since we were able to book a long weekend holiday "these days may change for any reason" kept getting quoted at me, but childcare/holiday etc still has to be paid for if it has been booked.

I'm someone who doesn't think the school should have closed and I am a compassionate person. I am, however, someone who wouldn't want any big displays of grief from people other than close friends and family.

There are so many awful tragedies unfolding in the world is it are all the posters who are not giving money to help stop them 'heartless bitches' lacking in compassion. For example, would it be more compassionate and a more fitting tribute to a caring professional to spend a day raising money for the school children effected by the Ebola outbreak?

Nobody answered my question, I know it was quite difficult to read though so I'll put it again.

If you were the teacher who died, would YOU want or expect the school to be closed, knowing that this would inconvenience many, many people, some of whom didn't even know you?

Kendodd, when I die, the notion of 'inconveniencing' people will probably be quite far from my mind. No, I would not be mortified that people are bitching* about having to arrange childcare due to my funeral. Get some perspective.

(*Not referring to the OP here: have read her most recent post, thought it was very good of her to come back.)

Hellola. I agree.

I also think as a family member little things like that can be a great sign to show the levels of love/respect for your loved one. My Grandad was a policeman and spent years on the bikes. At his funeral it had been arranged that some of the motorbike police would escort us to the crem. Unbeknown to us some also blocked a busy road to allow us out just as an added mark of respect for a much loved officer. Things like that really do mean a lot for a lot of families.

ALl those expressing outrage at the suggestion that funerals might take place at the weekend are clearly not jewish or muslim. Some Jews and Muslims have the misfortune to die on a Friday or a weekend. The funeral takes place the next day. It happens. They also happen after 3pm.
I agree with the OP that it seems very unusual for an essential public service to be removed for several hundred people for a whole day in order for staff to be given the option to attend a one - two hour event.
Having the school open with the school's own special assembly in the morning / opportunity to talk / share etc and then perhaps everyone leaving an hour earlier would make much more sense to me. I suspect the outrage on this thread is not from people who run businesses or work in the private sector.

and absolutely yy to skim.
Whoever suggested having perspective over the difference between arranging childcare and attending yr funeral - yes. Perspective doesn't involve mass Diana-style outpouring of grief for many hundreds of people who may well have never met the teacher in question. It's way out of whack, and could be handled so much better. Public grief and competitive mourning is a very strange recent phenomenon, though as the OP says - we all handle things differently

Schools closing following the death of a staff member isn't new. My dads school did it in the 60s.

How does a school closing for a day equate a 'mass Diana-style outpouring of grief'?

Also, I think the idea of everyone (conveniently) staying at school 'raising money for the Ebola victims' instead is a bit pathetically right-on. It smacks of those people who always react to news of individual misfortune by reminding you that worse things are happening everywhere else. Why mourn one person, when Palestine is burning, Ebola is spreading, and 'there are so many awful tragedies happening in the world'?

Mourning one person is still important. It's not just about scale. Local community is important. Attention must be paid.

It's a really unusual situation, that a school would be able to close, and that so many staff would want to go. I'm sure it won't happen again in the DC's school career. It's very much a one-off and I do really think that anyone who talks about 'perks' and 'piss-ups' is very much being a twat.

Yes, there are things which could, in comparable situations, be different. The teacher could have been Jewish or Muslim, the funeral could have been in the afternoon, the exam season could have made it impossible, the teacher could have had the courtesy to die and hop underground quietly in the summer holidays. Fact is, that's not how it is this time, and the only decent thing to do is show some bloody compassion. Nobody likes going to funerals: the fact that so many staff do want to go shows this teacher was well-liked and will be very much missed.

All those people saying when they die they'd hate to think that their expiry had caused anybody else a moment's hassle: well, good for you. You're the best at humble death, and I'm sure people will be very grateful. In all likelihood, there won't be so many people that arsed about going to most of our funerals anyway. But if somebody leaves a real gaping hole in a lot of lives, and people really want to be there for the last goodbye, you'd be churlish and cold to bitch and whine about it.

An amazing teacher who taught both my dds in year 6 died this year - frankly I would have supported the school if they'd decided to close for a week after that, and I don't think anybody would have been shitty enough to stand in the playground professing 'confusion' if they'd closed for just a day.

Does it not occur to people like TranmereRover that grief can be very genuine? That not everybody who cries at funerals is doing a Diana-fake blub?

When some people die, lots of people are really fucking sad about it. Some people probably won't be missed so much.

How lovely that those extolling the virtues of compassion follow it up with (I'm paraphrasing here) "no one will care much when YOU die, anyway". Lol. Lovely.

Er, what I said was 'most of our funerals'. It's true: I think a teacher is probably more likely than many to pack a church, just because they encounter more people over the years to whose lives they make a difference. I'm sure there'll be plenty of seats free at mine and most.

There's paraphrasing, and then there's changing the actual words to mean something else.

icymaiden

'Raven I meant to say teachers or pupils not of pupils.

You are wrong with your statistics. 1 in 2000 children of secondary school age will die every year according to the National statistics office. Say if a school has 1000 pupils that will be at least one death every 2 years'

woah, hang on. You made an assertion about deaths in service of 'teachers', when you meant 'teachers or pupils', & my statistics are wrong?

Only that's at the very least a 10 fold variation in your sample size, for a start...

I'll take your word for the 1:2000 figure, although it sounds very very high. I suppose it does rather depend if you define 'secondary school age' as up to 18, which would include an awful lot of aged 16-18 deaths among students who would be at sixth form college in many parts of the country.

The death of a child is a horrific blow to the school community. Even the most professional teachers or support staff find it impossible to feel detached from their students. Yet these teachers have to be strong and support their remaining students.

"I'll take your word for the 1:2000 figure, although it sounds very very high. I suppose it does rather depend if you define 'secondary school age' as up to 18, which would include an awful lot of aged 16-18 deaths among students who would be at sixth form college in many parts of the country."

ravenAK
Special schools have more than their fair share of student deaths. A school for children with severe/ profound learning difficulties will often have a death at least once a year. In fact many children in SLD schools are far braver at facing up to death than many adults.