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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed , even outraged that my 9 year old came home from school with this book?

227 replies

babyiwantabump · 05/09/2014 21:53

I really don't know if I am bu as I know they are educating children about things younger these days but DD ,aged 9 ,on her second day in year 5 ,has today come home having chosen a book from the reading selection in the classroom .

The book she has chosen is AIDS orphan.

The book describes HIV and AIDS which is fair enough but it also discusses rape , prostitution , injecting drugs such as cocaine and heroin etc .

I'm really annoyed (fuming!!)with the school .
The leader of homework club is the one who told me that DD had the book as she had asked the teacher what a condom was as it also discusses the use of condoms ( especially during anal sex !!) she was concerned about the book and she didn't feel it appropriate for a 9 year old either.

I just need to know if I am BU before I go in on Monday to discuss with DD's teacher and headmaster about the book .

I know children need to learn but I haven't even had the proper sex talk(she has been told the basics ) with DD yet and she is having further issues like this thrust at her first! She's a child!!

Thanks if you've read this far.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 05/09/2014 21:54

I would not be happy.

Speak to the HT.

DreamerOfStars · 05/09/2014 21:55

I bet the teachers doesn't know the content.

gordyslovesheep · 05/09/2014 21:55

yabu

Original poster
babyiwantabump · 05/09/2014 21:57

Why do you say that gordy?

OP posts:
MissMillament · 05/09/2014 21:58

Speak to the class teacher first, rather than escalating to the HT. The teacher was probably given a selection of books for the classroom and would not necessarily be aware of the content of each one, but it will be horrible for her if you go over her head to them HT without giving her a chance to resolve and explain.

DreamerOfStars · 05/09/2014 21:58

Why is she bu? How is the content suitable? Fair enough to learn abut aids, but in an age appropriate way.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 05/09/2014 21:58

According to Amazon it is written for KS2/3 so you may be U?

BOFster · 05/09/2014 21:59

That looks like a secondary school book to me. It doesn't seem to be a book that would get sent home with primary school children- somebody must have made a mistake.

AgentZigzag · 05/09/2014 21:59

9 YO would be a bit early to be opening up the whole subject for me as a parent, fair enough to answer questions they might have in a way you know won't fuck their head up, but not to introduce all of it at once.

Did she have to run it past her teacher before taking it out? I mean, are you 100% sure the teacher knows she has it?

Bailey101 · 05/09/2014 22:00

I can understand children of that age learning about aids and drug addiction, but I would freak out if my child was asking about anal sex!! I would be having some serious words with the school.

Nanny0gg · 05/09/2014 22:00

Just because it was written for KS2/3 doesn't mean it's suitable.

It certainly isn't suitable as a 'reading' book for Year 5. It's one that needs introduction, context and discussion.

And I do think the HT should know. I don't accept that it's ok that the teacher didn't know what reading books she had in her classroom.

CatKisser · 05/09/2014 22:01

www.amazon.co.uk/AIDS-Orphan-Surviving-epidemic-Real-Life/dp/1860078273/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409950614&sr=8-1&keywords=aids+orphan

I don't think it looks that bad. It's certainly well-intentioned with an aim to educate. It's not gratuitous. I really wouldn't go in all guns blazing, informing the Head how disCUSTED you are.

MehsMum · 05/09/2014 22:02

I'd say I'm pretty open minded, but I'd have a problem with a book like that for a 9 yr old. YANBU.

CatKisser · 05/09/2014 22:02

Speak to the class teacher first, rather than escalating to the HT. The teacher was probably given a selection of books for the classroom and would not necessarily be aware of the content of each one, but it will be horrible for her if you go over her head to them HT without giving her a chance to resolve and explain.
Exactly this.

CromerSutra · 05/09/2014 22:02

That's not ok. I would complain to her teacher . There is no way that is appropriate for a 9 year old.

DreamerOfStars · 05/09/2014 22:02

Look at the 'look inside' option on amazon. It's really not suitable. Even looking through the index shows that.

I wouldn't immediately blame the teacher, though. Sometimes they are given a set of books from the library for a while.

gordyslovesheep · 05/09/2014 22:03

I say it because it's a childrens book - so I doubt it's as awful as you paint it (because you make it sound like it's hard core porn ffs) children are affected by AIDS why should it be hidden

it sounds like an age appropriate book for young people - she's not 5 she chose the book - maybe she's more open minded than you?

MollyHooper · 05/09/2014 22:03

From Amazon Curriculum Links: PHSE & Citizenship KS2/KS3 Geography KS3

I would imagine that would be the more mature end of KS2 rather than 9 year olds.

Have a chat with her teacher, I'm sure she will share your concerns.

Original poster
babyiwantabump · 05/09/2014 22:04

I will definitely be going to the teacher first , not straight to the headmaster .

It's just reading it myself I don't feel it is suitable . And I know that the school hasn't discussed sex at school yet and so for DD to know about men forcing women to have sex and women selling sex ( how it is written) just makes me a bit uncomfortable .

OP posts:
Original poster
babyiwantabump · 05/09/2014 22:04

Sorry for grammar errors - am on phone

OP posts:
gertiegusset · 05/09/2014 22:05

Pretty open minded here too but I am surprised that a book with that content is available at primary level.
And also what MissMillament said, speak to the teacher first.

DreamerOfStars · 05/09/2014 22:05

Gordy, take a look at the book yourself, it's not a 'children's' book.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 05/09/2014 22:05

Just "looked inside" via Amazon link above, it looks fairly boring innocuous?

CatKisser · 05/09/2014 22:06

Dreamer it's aimed at KS2 and 3, so yes it is a "children's" book.

Curiouslygrumpycola · 05/09/2014 22:06

I would be complaining over this. The teacher should know what's on offer in his/her classroom.