To be annoyed , even outraged that my 9 year old came home from school with this book?

[babyiwantabump]

I really don't know if I am bu as I know they are educating children about things younger these days but DD ,aged 9 ,on her second day in year 5 ,has today come home having chosen a book from the reading selection in the classroom .

The book she has chosen is AIDS orphan.

The book describes HIV and AIDS which is fair enough but it also discusses rape , prostitution , injecting drugs such as cocaine and heroin etc .

I'm really annoyed (fuming!!)with the school .
The leader of homework club is the one who told me that DD had the book as she had asked the teacher what a condom was as it also discusses the use of condoms ( especially during anal sex !!) she was concerned about the book and she didn't feel it appropriate for a 9 year old either.

I just need to know if I am BU before I go in on Monday to discuss with DD's teacher and headmaster about the book .

I know children need to learn but I haven't even had the proper sex talk(she has been told the basics ) with DD yet and she is having further issues like this thrust at her first! She's a child!!

Thanks if you've read this far.

no Ididmtseeit ...that's why I suggested the OP ASK her child WHY she chose it - because if she is genuinely interested maybe she should be allowed to make that choice - under guidance and with access to discussion

I wonder if her 9 year old chooses their books the same way as mine does...walk over to the shelf/box 'that'll do' and when they get home go 'oh this looks boring' read a book they want to read off their own bookshelf/kindle and sling the school book back the next day...

...just mine then

What if she had read it in class gordy?

At 9 years old these things really should be up to the parent to decide when their child is ready and mature enough to broach those subjects, just like you did.

Hiya, one of my mates is doing a teaching degree in literacy (or a degree in literacy to use for teaching? Whatever), and she spoke to me specifically about one of her assignments that involved this very book. She had to interview however many people on whether they thought it appropriate for a 12 year old, (KS3 is secondary isn't it? She definitely told me it was for 12 year olds).
Apparently the book was written to make kids aware of the dangers of drugs sex etc. And written in a graphic way as to not glamorise it, warn how easy it is to become involved, how it can be a slippery slope.
When she interviewed me I was really undecided. My initial thought was to be horrified, and said in no uncertain terms would I be happy with a 12 year old DC reading it, but as interview progressed I thought more about how I was in year year 8 at school I was certainly aware of sex/drugs etc, had read quite a few of those 'child called it'-esqe books, had seen graphic scenes on films etc etc and put in that context it didn't seem so bad?
But I do think there is a massive difference between 9 and 12 year olds.
HTH's somehow?

When I was a kid Adrian mole wasn't accessible in the school library until you got to y9....and yet one generation later books like this are acceptable for 9 year olds

I find that very sad tbh

she didn't Molly

9 year olds have some free choice surely - they aren't toddlers

the OP has decided it's not suitable and will let the teacher know - so in this case the parent did decide

There is a massive difference between 9 and 12 and for everyone saying they have to find out about this stuff eventually, then why do we have classifications on films, TV etc as some things are not suitable for children. If this was a book at high school that's a different story but not Yr 5!

Telling your 9 YO the circumstances of children less fortunate than they are in an age/personality appropriate way gordy, is a world away from deliberately introducing them to huge subjects like violent sexual assault and prostitution without any background or support.

If they've been raped or assaulted themselves it could lead them to think if that they've been raped then they've definitely got HIV, or any of the other billions of things they could make up in their heads and not want to ask about but which would give them sleepless nights.

yep Agent ...which is why I would discuss it well before age 9 ...and not leave it to a book

I'm not super liberal either but I don't believe you help kids by pretending life is safe

Vrocket -
Yes that helps Thankyou .

And she chose it because it was on the shelf and was a thin book so not too many pages :-/

Can I ask those who say this book is ok will you be showing your 9 year old trainspotting?

Erm, yer gordy I did read that.

There is more than one discussion going on here.

no why would a 9 year old need to watch Trainspotting ...

but I would discuss drugs with them. I managed to discuss sex without performing a live sex show!

What's wrong with pretending life is safe for a 9 year old FFS! Why do they need to know all the awful things about the world as a child, might as well sit my 6 year old DD down and tell her Santa isn't real, save her the disappointment of finding out later and toughen her up abit, what's wrong with being naive and feeling safe when you are a child? I certainly wasn't brought up knowing about the horrors of the world and I don't think it's made me any less of a well rounded adult!

Sorry for my wording indelikate but she basically doesn't know that a penis goes in a vagina let alone any other orifice - which is what I meant by he doesn't know about normal sex let alone etc.

She also didn't know what a condom is or what rape was or what heroin was . Until she read the book. And looked up the words in a dictionary whilst at homework club after school .

If we would have been able to read it together I think it would have been better . I would have been able to explain things without her first exposure to these issues being (possibly ) terrifying to her!

The book was made for children aged 11+

I'm much more open with my children than most people I know. My 7 and 5 year olds know what sex is, how babies are made and born. I would have no problem with them at the age of 9 understanding that there is an illness called AIDS that causes big problems worldwide, that can be transmitted through sex. But I would not want them to read this book at that age - I think the issues it raises are too complicated and adult for a nine year old to understand and that it could potentially confuse their learning about sex and relationships in a healthy way. I wouldn't be happy. YANBU.

yes I do agree with your last point there OP it's not something she can maybe process alone x

But trainspotting is just as graphic. Kids heads are scary overimaginative places to be discussing consensual sex is not the same as reading about the graphic contents of this book.

A child reading this book may as well be watching trainspotting mixed with 12 years a slave and any other brutal kind of film.

Has she asked any/many questions babyiwant?