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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if you enjoyed your own family set up?

110 replies

burgatroyd · 03/09/2014 21:34

As part of my 'shall I stop at two' conundrum (see are teenagers more expensive?) I'm curious about whether you benefitted from coming from a large or small family.

Perhaps you were a lonely only or enjoyed being a single child.
Or you felt lost amongst a brood or liked having two or more siblings.
Are you closer to your brother or sister?
Step or half siblings?

Are you close or distant now to siblings and has this influenced your own family planning?

Thanks!

OP posts:

WeirdCatLady · 03/09/2014 21:36

I hate my brother and sister with a passion, have been NC for years.
Dd is an only child.
HTH.

FreeSpirit89 · 03/09/2014 21:37

I was an only child. No cousins, no family my own age. I have a DS. And ttc number 2.

I want a big family x

Mim78 · 03/09/2014 21:37

I have two younger brothers and no sisters. I always felt and still feel a bit left out as the odd one in a three child family.

I will be stopping at two (I have one of each).

OneLittleToddleTerror · 03/09/2014 21:39

I have a brother. Hated him when I grew up. We are only Facebook friends now with no other contact.

Having my second and will stop there. Guess it hasn't affected my desired family size.

OhMyArsingGodInABox · 03/09/2014 21:41

I have three siblings and we all see each other at least once a week, I see my little sister every day.

I have three dc and wouldn't be averse to maybe one more at sine point.

Preciousbane · 03/09/2014 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Azquilith · 03/09/2014 21:43

I have one full sibling and six halves. All younger. Hated it. I want four. All with the same Dad though DP has 2 from a previous marriage.

MamaPain · 03/09/2014 21:43

Absolutely. I am one of 8, I loved it, well it was all I knew so I don't know if I would have been happier as an only child or with fewer siblings.

Our house was always rammed and hectic. Gave me a good sense of humour and the ability to be assertive. Never really lonely, always felt surrounded by love. I think now there is a lot of focus on 'quality one on one time' but I don't remember it being an issue.

We are all close now and close to my parents. I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers. I'm still best friends with one brother and one sister in that we probably speak every other day. Other siblings I'm usually in contact with at least weekly.

We aren't the Brady Bunch, we had fights and rows and will happily scream and shout at each other even now but its always brief and quickly forgotten.

I have 5 DC of my own, I would have gone with more but stopped because I also raised two of DHs nieces. I would have always tried to have more than one child.

Original poster

burgatroyd · 03/09/2014 21:44

weirdat yes it does.

I am an only, not lonely, and am fascinated by sibling dynamics. I sometimes have a rose tinted view of a Walton like set up.

OP posts:

ColdTeaAgain · 03/09/2014 21:45

I sort of wish I had two siblings instead of just but this is only because I have no relationship with my sister. I suppose if I had another sister or a brother than hopefully we would be friends as it's quite sad how distant my sis from everyone. That said, I'm fairly sure if I have more than two children it would be due to a happy accident rather than planned as the practicalities/ expense of more than two outweighs the idea of a bigger family. Am just praying that when my children are older they have a better relationship than I do with my sibling!

123rd · 03/09/2014 21:45

I come from a bigger family. 5 DC. Didn't particularly like it growing up. But I guess with lot of different personalities there is bound to be issues. I have nc with 1 brother. And good contact with 2 sisters. I now have 1dd & 1ds. I won't have anymore

phonebox · 03/09/2014 21:46

I have one younger brother - there are 3 years between us.

After DP, he is my best friend and always has been. We are lucky to share the same sense of humour and similar temperament - even when we drove each other crazy when we were younger, it was still more fun to make up games with him than anyone else. And it has been great to grow up seeing things from a boy's POV. I think it's helped me a lot in life.

I can't imagine what it would have been like with another sibling. I don't think I would like an older brother or sister in retrospect - I don't like being bossed around and I am so glad I wasn't an only child.

sleepdodger · 03/09/2014 21:47

Was one of 3
Loved it but was close to 1 bro only
Never had any money and mum didn't work (don't know if she wanted to, got impression couldn't afford to and wasn't done thing in rural nowhere!)
Have 1 dc
Thinking about more looks at dob and should probably crack on
No idea how we will afford it or function as the classic child care and supprt issue kicks in
No idea if we could cope
small part of me thinks if we had one more might as well be 2 more

flashnorman · 03/09/2014 21:49

I have 1 full brother 2 half brothers that I lived with growing up. Myhalf brothers are 8 & 9 yrs younger than me. I also have another 2 half brothers & 2 half sisters that I never lived with & the eldest is 14 yrs younger than me, the youngest is 18yrs younger. So because of the age gaps, my relationships with my half siblings (although fine) are not particularly close & they often come to me when they 'need' something (usually money), other than that I don't hear from them. My full brother and I hated each other growing up, when he moved 300 miles away at 19 we became friends! We are really close now & talk/text every day.

But despite having all these siblings I couldn't have felt more lonely in my teenage years.

I have 1 dd and that's how it will stay through choice.

BlahBlahYeahYeah · 03/09/2014 21:49

I'm one of nine, op, and dh is one of seven. I'm the youngest and he is third (so not related to position in the family) , we are stopping at two.

We both feel like we missed out too much by having big families and want to give our dd's more plus all the bun fights and bitch fights are just not worth the hassle

Dazedconfused · 03/09/2014 21:49

I have one sister and we are best friends (even if we bickered a lot when younger) she lives far away but we see each other regularly and are just very close. I would like to have two hopefully (husband is one of four and wants two also)

Mama1980 · 03/09/2014 21:50

I am 1 of 6 loved it, still love it, we are all incredibly close.
I have 4 myself, I cannot imagine life without my brothers and sister.

puntasticusername · 03/09/2014 21:51

I'm the middle child of three. Really REALLY hated being the middle child

You don't get to be the boss, do everything first and have all the new stuff like the eldest. Nor do you get babied like the youngest. You're just in the middle, nothing special, it sucks.

This is my experience; obviously other people's mileage will vary.

HumblePieMonster · 03/09/2014 21:51

me and brother four and a half years younger. didn't have much to do with him really. he was an irritation. feel quite warmly towards him now but he's a mess, poor sod.

PacificDogwood · 03/09/2014 21:51

I was one of 2 - my brother is 2 year younger than me.

I had a perfectly happy childhood, we got on well together. And still do - contact is sporadic (we live in 2 different countries and both have busy lives), but we are always happy to see each other. I know with absolute certainty that he would have my back in times of crisis.

I have 4. 4 boys. No idea what we were thinking…

Coffeeaddictforever · 03/09/2014 21:52

I am an only child and can't wait to try for #2. Trying to persuade dh :-) I didn't benefit at all from being on my own. I still struggle with social interaction and confidence issues which I put down to lack of interaction with a sibling.

poolomoomon · 03/09/2014 21:52

Have one brother. He was born when I was six and to me that gap is too large. When I was in the throws of puberty he was watching cartoons and playing with action men. When I was a child and wanted to play with him he was a toddler and a rowdy one at that, he wasn't able to play properly iykwim. So we never had anything in common and I left home at 16. I didn't recognise him in the street the other week, thought he was a chugger. So yeah, really not close.

I have three DC although last one was most definitely not planned. No plans to ever have another one. They're all close in age, 2.5 years between eldest and youngest. Better that way IMO. They're on a wavelength with one another and all want to play, read and do similar things.

Cric · 03/09/2014 21:52

1 of 3 love it!!!

BunnyLebowski · 03/09/2014 21:53

I'm one of four.

I had a great childhood but as adults we live in 4 different parts of the world and aren't particularly close (see each other once a year at most - the odd phone call in between). No drama just not much in common.

I honestly don't believe that sharing parents/a childhood guarantees friendship in adulthood.

I have a DD and a DS who are almost 6 years apart in age. I don't expect they'll be hugely close when they get older.

TheDalek · 03/09/2014 21:53

I had a happy childhood. I have a twin brother (well, he's younger...by 6mins!) and I technically have two half siblings from my dad (who I have never known, only found out about half siblings as a young adult) and we're quite friendly.

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