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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if you enjoyed your own family set up?

110 replies

burgatroyd · 03/09/2014 21:34

As part of my 'shall I stop at two' conundrum (see are teenagers more expensive?) I'm curious about whether you benefitted from coming from a large or small family.

Perhaps you were a lonely only or enjoyed being a single child.
Or you felt lost amongst a brood or liked having two or more siblings.
Are you closer to your brother or sister?
Step or half siblings?

Are you close or distant now to siblings and has this influenced your own family planning?

Thanks!

OP posts:

littlepeas · 04/09/2014 11:44

I am the eldest of 2 girls - dsis is 2.5 years younger. We didn't do much together as kids, but are fairly close now - we weren't to encouraged to do much as a family, so I think it was down to my parents more than anything else. We both felt like the other was favoured.

I have 3 - 2 boys and a girl (girl in the middle) - we considered a 4th, but will be stopping at 3. I wanted a bit more of a gang than the family I grew up in, but not loads more! Dsis and I both would have liked another sibling - she doesn't have dc yet, but also wants 3.

My dh is youngest of 3 - he definitely wanted 3dc and his eldest sister has 3 as well, but his middle sister has 2 and feels hard done by as the middle child. There are so many more factors than number of dc.

cherrybombxo · 04/09/2014 11:47

I'm 24 and my DB has just turned 18. It was difficult when we were kids because of the age gap but we became pretty close when he was about 14/15 and now he's my best friend. My parents were at their wits end because they could never keep us both entertained with the same activity at the same time because one of us was too old/young for it and when I was a teenager, he was a bratty, annoying little boy who copied me, stole my stuff, broke things for no reason and trashed my room while I was out. I HATED him.

DP is an only child because of his mum's health problems. She nearly died carrying him and was told not to have another because it wouldn't end well. He says that he doesn't feel like he missed out on anything, he has two cousins that he saw a lot when they were growing up.

Fanfeckintastic · 04/09/2014 11:55

I was an only child and hated it then but detest it now, lost my mother just days after I had DD and my dad has his own long term partner and life but we get on, stressful being his next of kin when he hada stroke and I had no support etc.

DD is an only child and I really hope one day I can give her a sibling

Andcake · 04/09/2014 11:57

One 18 month younger brother - dont particularly like him at time. See each other a few times a year but on'y with our parents ifykwim - I would have loved more brothers and sisters and used to beg my mum. Very few fond memories of him just of being an annoying arrogant kid - who I still think my parents like/love more.
However I would have liked a big family but due to infertility have one
Db has none!

however · 04/09/2014 11:57

I'm one of 3. It was OK. I wasn't (and am still not) particularly close to my brothers. But it was what it was. I had a good childhood. Nice parents, good friends. Family area where we all played out on the street.

dinkystinky · 04/09/2014 11:57

older one of 2 - think life would have been better/my mum would have been less intense if she had more children. I'm close to my sister who is 3 years younger than me.

I have 3 kids - nearly 3 years between no 1 and 2, just over 4 years between no 2 and 3. I love having 3 boys and hope they will be close when they get older (1 and 2 are close now and 2 acts as a bridge to no 3 who he is very loving with)

JuniorMumber · 04/09/2014 12:03

I have 1 DD and feel complete just with her, but I feel pressure to have another for her sake. Who's to say they would even get on though. So many what ifs.

CustardFromATin · 04/09/2014 12:20

One of four, though only three of us are here now.

We're the sort of tight knit that squabbles a lot, but wouldn't change it. When we lost my brother and as my parents get older, and relationships come and go, my family are my bedrock and my best support network, even if they aren't my best friends to call for a chat.

We have 3 DCs and would love a fourth, but are with three under 5 it's challenging enough and I do already see that it's hard to give enough attention all round, and we worry that with 4 we could have an ok life but not support a child who turned out to have issues, or a special talent, for example.

MyBaby1day · 06/09/2014 01:54

I DID!!, I'm an only child and bloody loved it!!

CatThiefKeith · 06/09/2014 07:54

I was an only til I was 12. My parents and I were a very close unit and I was never lonely (although I was a bit precocious)

Dm had dsis while we lived in another country, and I ended up coming back for 2 weeks alone to be bridesmaid, then it was decided I should stay in the UK and go to secondary school and live with my dgm until they sold their business and returned home.

It took a year. I can see now why they thought it was a good idea, however it screwed me up for years and my relationship with dsis was nonexistent for years. We are better now we have children in common, but the relationship is still quite fragile, and we aren't particularly close.

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