Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

791 replies

jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 12:24

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

OP posts:
Bouttimeforwine · 05/09/2014 17:25

As far as the Tesco hudl is concerned, if I wanted to buy one, I would be more than happy for a friend to buy one with her tesco vouchers and I would reimburse her full price. I would be buying it anyway at that price. Why not be a good friend and give her more flexibility with her vouchers? It's no skin off my nose and I've done her a favour. I'd even suggest it, as it makes good sense. I'm in the same position as I would have been paying cash and she is not so limited as to what she can buy. She wouldn't have profited from me though and I wouldn't expect a discount.

vrocket · 05/09/2014 17:36

I also wonder why she keeps ignoring requests to tell which theme park it was.
My own theory on this is that we would find out the 'at the door' cost was more than 25. By all accounts it seems the trip was pre-booked and therefore would have had a discount attached to it already , whereas OP only handed out the money on the day. Therefore going by her logic (she wanted her cash used at the gate, not vouchers) then her DD wouldn't have had enough to get in!

ilovehotsauce · 05/09/2014 17:41

She looked after your child for the day.

Dd (I assume) had a great time.

Why does it matter. ....she could of had tesco vouchers but no actual cash to pay for petrol food and drinks.

I think she did a nice thing and your being petty.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 17:43

Bout time - if the hudl cost £100 cash and the friend only had to pay £25 worth of vouchers, would you pay her £100 cash? Would you be happy in terms of returns in case of a fault not being able to get a cash refund?

Bouttimeforwine · 05/09/2014 17:55

Yes, of course I'd be happy to pay her full price. Why wouldn't I? They'd replace it in case of a fault. I'd be paying it anyway. Why wouldn't you?

slithytove · 05/09/2014 18:00

No I wouldn't. Id like a few friends like you and others on this thread though, id love to trade my cc vouchers for cash worth 4x face value! Certainly can't get that for them on ebay

EveDallasRetd · 05/09/2014 18:00

I also wonder why she keeps ignoring requests to tell which theme park it was

OP said she wasn't coming back at 1227 today. All this is now is people chatting. No point in asking OP questions at this stage.

WinifredTheLostDenver · 05/09/2014 18:02

Also, it's perfectly reasonable not to provide further identifying detail like that.

Bouttimeforwine · 05/09/2014 18:05

But why wouldn't you do that for a friend though. Isn't that what friendship is? Helping each other out? Either she could help me out by giving me a discount (and losing her own benefit) or I could help her out by giving her the cash with no detriment to myself. The second option no one loses out and one gains. If she gave me a discount, she loses out. The second option is the most logical and sensible option.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 18:08

Because I could do it cheaper elsewhere by buying vouchers on ebay. If it could be done so it benefited both of us (she gets cash, I pay the minimum possible) I would do that.

But if I can buy a £25 voucher for £50 on ebay, why would I give someone else £100? No matter how good a friend.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 18:10

I'm not well off enough to have friendships like that unfortunately. And this hudl example, for me still depends on honesty and both parties making the decision, not just the person with the vouchers.

vrocket · 05/09/2014 18:12

Winifred, I don't see how that could POSSIBLY be seen as an identifying detail? I have been to Alton Towers, Thorpe Park and Chessington. So on that basis please give me an identifying detail about me? People drive, take trains etc. Unless you lived in said theme park, or people are telepathic, how would they know anything about you based on what theme park your dd went to?

And slithytove, I'd fathom a guess your attitude is exactly WHY you don't have friends like that TBH.

EveDallasRetd · 05/09/2014 18:16

Not necessary vrocket. There is no need for personal attacks (even passive aggressive ones) on posters simply because they do not agree with you.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 18:16

It's never come up in conversation rocket - except of course when I have used my own vouchers to treat friends to days out at the discounted rate. But I guess in your eyes that makes me mean or a bad friend! Should I have charged them ticket value to be a really good friend?

WinifredTheLostDenver · 05/09/2014 18:18

I wouldn't post something like that as many people who know me already might know that my dd had been to chessington the other day with a friend's mum and another friend.

DoJo · 05/09/2014 18:19

Id like a few friends like you and others on this thread though, id love to trade my cc vouchers for cash worth 4x face value!

I dare say you would! That's the beauty of those of us who don't think this is a problem - not only would we not fall out with a friend who had done what the OP's friend did, but we would be happy to do the same for a friend who wanted to make such an exchange should the opportunity arise.

Unfortunately, given the fact that those of us who share this viewpoint have been called 'dishonest', 'sneaky', 'money-grabbing' and 'pretty shitty' amongst other rather unpleasant terms, it seems that the reciprocal nature of this kind of arrangement would probably never be implemented because those who would be rubbing their hands in glee at such an exchange would have already abandoned the friendship due to their belief in that we are morally reprehensible.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 18:19

In fairness, I would not do it.

I COULD NEVER spend a £25 voucher on something worth £100 and charge a friend the £100. If I felt it was unfair, I would just not use my voucher.

I don't think that makes me mean or selfish or a bad friend or anything. But I have little money, wouldn't take extra off friends, and have a need to keep finances square.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 18:21

X post dojo - even if a friend was happy with it, I wouldn't take the cash off them. I'd rather not enter into the transaction to begin with even if I would be the one benefiting.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 18:22

By something worth, I mean the retail cost.

vrocket · 05/09/2014 18:24

Point taken Eve.
That was a personal attack, slithytove, for which I appologise.
I still don't understand your POV though, because the way it seems to me is that as friend pre-booked with CC points, which undoubtedly would have given her a discount on the at the gate price.
The fact OP only handed her money over on the day, means that if she didn't want her friend to use vouchers then she would have had to paid more (gate price), which her DD wouldn't have been able to afford, having only been given cash value of CC discount price.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 18:27

She paid the gate price as far as we know. It's not been confirmed.

But clubcard boost means a voucher for 1/4 gate gets a full price entry ticket.

So OP friend got the discount, OP didn't. There was no difference in what OP paid.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 18:28

Oh apology accepted, I know I'm lovely so it's all good Grin

slithytove · 05/09/2014 18:29

Because bear in mind had this been me, and I was taking your DC - I'd have said "oh I'm using vouchers, I can get an entrance ticket for £6.25 - if you are ok with that it's much cheaper. Otherwise it's £25" so really by having me as a friend you would have saved money!

Bouttimeforwine · 05/09/2014 18:35

slithy I wouldn't do it if I lost out ie buying them on ebay - but I wouldn't dare do that I case it was a con.
But I wouldn't be losing out just giving the cash for something I was going to buy anyway. My position would be just the same. But equally unless I felt like treating people, which of course I do sometimes, I wouldn't waste my vouchers by just giving them away for the face or slightly higher value. I would be losing out then because I could buy something else for the higher value. I do see vouchers as cash but for the higher value as that is what they are worth to me. I'm not well off enough to just give them away willynilly either, unless I specifically want to treat them Grin

whatever5 · 05/09/2014 18:39

The amount written on the tokens is pretty meaningless and is just a marketing tactic really. If you can usually swap them for 4x what is written on the tokens then clearly the amount written on them doesn't tell you what they are worth. Only a fool would buy them on e bay considering that there is a good chance that you won't be able to use them.