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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend kept dds money and used Tesco vouchers

791 replies

jammyjamjam · 03/09/2014 12:24

Hi, ds had inservice yesterday and a friend (a mum from school) offered to take her, her own dd and 2 others to an amusement park, entry fee was 25 pounds. When ds got back in the afternoon, we chatted about the day and it turns out the mum paid for my dd and the 2 other children with Tesco vouchers, ie, she had redeemed her Tesco points to pay for the 4 dcs and then kept 75 pounds form my dd and the 2 other dc. Surely she could have told us that this place took in Tesco vouchers and I could have used my own points and saved the money? I'm grateful that she took dd but surely she should have been upfront about her intention of using vouchers....AIBU?

OP posts:
Lweji · 05/09/2014 14:49

Could you really in all good faith go and ask your friends for £9 cash having spent a £2.50 voucher?

Yes, if I intended to use the voucher for something else that cost £9. In which case it shouldn't matter if it was paid in cash or voucher.

Maybe the friend didn't want to pay for the tickets separately in cash and in vouchers. It could be as simple as that and it's really not of concern for the OP.
It would have been nice if she also benefited, but she didn't, and I don't think the friend had to.

EveDallasRetd · 05/09/2014 14:51

I've just realised it would only take me 2 trips to the Safari Park to make up for the amount I paid out for the yearly membership (if I charged my friends). Nice little earner there Shock

QuintessentiallyQS · 05/09/2014 14:51

At the end of the day, OPs friend spent her day with her child and childs friends in a theme park. Ops child had fun. OP paid what she would have paid if SHE had taken her child to a theme park, possibly less, as she would have paid for herself too?

Lweji · 05/09/2014 14:52

Could I charge her then? I have already paid for my yearly passes, so didn't get them 'free' by virtue of using the park.

in your case, no, because you can have any number of free entrances.
It's an entirely different scenario.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 14:56

The decent thing to do if you had another intended use for a voucher, is to use it for that.

You could honestly say to a friend "I've used a £2.50 tesco voucher for your ticket, that'll be £9 cash please"?

I couldn't.

Lweji · 05/09/2014 14:57

I probably wouldn't either, but I wouldn't be upset if a friend had asked me that.

DamnBamboo · 05/09/2014 14:57

I just love these totally unrelated and completely ridiculous comparisons people keep coming up wiht.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 14:58

Where was the harm to the friend in paying for DD with the tender offered?

That is the right thing to have done.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 14:58

Which might they be bamboo?

whatever5 · 05/09/2014 15:01

I can use these 'free return tickets' to get my friends into the Park. All I would need to do is swap cars with my friend at the bottom of the driveway, giving her the free return ticket that goes with my car registration, whilst I go in with her car using my own yearly passes. Oh and then I'd be given another free return ticket with my friends car registration on that she could use herself another time.

That wouldn't be the same thing at all as you would be selling your friend something that didn't cost you anything and is worthless to you.

WinifredTheLostDenver · 05/09/2014 15:02

Wouldn't you rather give £25 to a friend than to a theme park, though?

If your friend owned a small toy shop next door to a Tesco and both sold a toy for £25, wouldn't you opt to buy from your friend rather than Tesco?

DamnBamboo · 05/09/2014 15:05

Plenty!
I get free entrance to a zoo, I get discounted entrance to a safari park, I get free soft play, I had a two for one ticket etc etc...

Point being is, these things are used for what they are at that time and can't be exchanged for vouchers for other things because it is a different situation entirely.

whatever5 · 05/09/2014 15:10

I just love these totally unrelated and completely ridiculous comparisons people keep coming up with.

Yes they have no logical explanation for why the OP's friend was unreasonable to use vouchers so they think of an unrelated situation which would be wrong and say because that is wrong, OP's friend must be wrong too.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 15:13

Just making sure my cinema example wasn't being maligned bamboo Wink

Winifred - if it was a choice between buying 2 things with the exact same tender, I would within reason give business to a friend.

However, in this exact circumstance, I would have preferred honesty as I would have then got DD a discounted ticked using my vouchers. I think since her name is the same as on the vouchers, it would have been allowed. Was that not an option to me, I would have asked my friend to save her vouchers for herself and asked for the cash provided to buy DD's ticket.

ColdCottage · 05/09/2014 15:15

Are you sure she didn't use the 18 extra on drinks, food, other extras such as fast passes plus think about petrol. How far was this place?

If she had asked for the 25 plus 15 for extras that would be cheeky.

I would probably be a bit miffed as I would have wanted to use my points but she may not have thought of that til later on or crossed her mind to check if you had them.

I'd leave it and just be glad for the days child care and that your DC had a nice day.

DamnBamboo · 05/09/2014 15:19

OP COULDN'T HAVE USED HER POINTS. THIS HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED REPEATEDLY

slithytove · 05/09/2014 15:23

No it hasn't bamboo.

The odeon ones are emailed and you just take the voucher code along with you, no names, no proof of clubcard. If the theme park ones are the same, then anyone could use them.

In addition, all that would need to be done if there was a name, is to give dd the clubcard and the voucher, presumably it's the same surname.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 15:25

Yep, just checked. You get a ticket to print at home. So OP could have certainly used her own vouchers.

slithytove · 05/09/2014 15:26

In fact, according to the t and c s, ops friend was breaking them by using them for someone else, and by charging for them.

whatever5 · 05/09/2014 15:28

Was that not an option to me, I would have asked my friend to save her vouchers for herself and asked for the cash provided to buy DD's ticket.

Why would you prevent your friend, particularly one who was doing you a favour, from transferring vouchers into cash (which is more flexible and doesn't have an expiry date) if it made no difference to you though? That just seems so mean spirited.

DamnBamboo · 05/09/2014 15:28

We aren't talking about the odeon ones, we're talking about the theme park ones.

They are not transferrable and it has been mentioned on several occasions on this thread.

If the DD was to bring her clubcard and voucher, this is different and not about transferring them - it's about the OP being organised enough to sort her shit out and put this in place for her DD. Which she wasn't.

DamnBamboo · 05/09/2014 15:29

Yep, just checked. You get a ticket to print at home. So OP could have certainly used her own vouchers

well we're all agreed on that then. This is not actually what I mean by tranferring them and actually, a child isn't a clubcard holder - so that woudl be interesting, because you would still be trying to transfer them to someone who isn't the clubcard holder. Relative or not.

sillystring · 05/09/2014 15:30

Then why didn't she? Regardless of whether she knew her "friend" was going to use vouchers, she could easily have said "I've got loads of Tesco points and can redeem them for you to take DC to theme park, that'll save me giving you the £25 entrance fee". Now OP can use her Tesco vouchers for something else...a meal at Cafe Rouge or Bella Italia or something similar. The "friend" can't...because she's already used hers up going to the theme park. Now if she wants to go to Bella Italia, she'll have to pay cash...perhaps she can put the £25 the OP gave her towards a nice carbonara. Why aren't people understanding this? The "friend" didn't do anything wrong, she didn't profit, she USED her bloody vouchers up taking a bunch of kids to a theme park!!!

slithytove · 05/09/2014 15:31

They are not transferable from OP friend to OP dd, no. She broke the t and c's (not that I care about that sort of thing)
OP could have certainly used her own on her own child. Had her mate been honest, she would have.
I did just check the theme park ones. Same concept as odeon. Emailed and printed at home.

Whatever - perhaps I am mean spirited. I think OP's friend was in not being honest. This does not feel right to me, and I would have rather been upfront and paid direct for my DD and her expenses.

whatever5 · 05/09/2014 15:32

You get a ticket to print at home. So OP could have certainly used her own vouchers.

I have fours token but they have my name on them which I would presume means that only I can use them. I don't think one adult could present several tokens with different names.

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