Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 8 9 10 11 12 13

Original poster

I am so angry!

314 replies

ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 02/09/2014 23:47

ok sorry if this is long, but I just need to get this off my chest, and to know if I was being the unreasonable one.

ok so today I went to asda. parked in a normal space as no p&c available. I opened my car door, as wide as it could go, guiding it with my hand and resting it against the car next to me gently, to climb into the back and pull out DD (I only have a 2 door car)

in the middle of this, I hear a very angry woman shout into my car "move your door off my car" - I was about to explain that I hadn't let it hit off her car, but just placed it there instead of opening the door a little bit and chancing a gust of wind coming and slamming it against her car - but I'm a wimp so I just apologised and closed the door and waited for them to pull out of the space.

I was playing with DDs hair, waiting on them leaving, when I heard a massive bang against my car. the passenger had deliberately flung her door open full force and slammed it into my car.

i looked in at her and she just shrugged as if to say "what you gonna do about it?" like i say I'm a wimp, but I got out the car at this point, and checked my car - she has made a massive dent and scratch down the drivers side of the door.

they drove away while I was looking at this and I didn't catch the reg plate.

I just can't stop being angry at this, they deliberately damaged my car, for nothing! but now I'm thinking, should I not have let my car door touch their car? would you have a similar reaction if you seen a car door open and sitting against your car?

OP posts:

Surfsup1 · 04/09/2014 11:55

there not their

hmc · 04/09/2014 11:58

"But has it occurred to those of you who think it's unlikely that it's not actually your call to make regarding other people's property? Nor is it your right to decide that someone else is being "precious" about the risk and that the bumps and scrapes you inflict are just part of owning a car."

This!

I don't think the casual car door resters are being especially inconsiderate as such, but they are being spectacularly arrogant. As this poster has said, it's not your call to make!

I hope that some of you will have the good grace to moderate your behaviour. I was on a thread about using mobiles phones in the cinema on here a while back - the majority opinion was that to do so really puts a lot of people out because the light the phone gives out is distracting. I was in the minority camp - if people want to check their mobile phone during a movie it really doesn't bother me.....However, since that thread - now that I am aware that this is a bugbear to other people, rather than dismissing them as weird or precious, I make sure I don't check the time on my mobile during the film....because that's basic consideration for others.

carriemeatsix · 04/09/2014 12:07

I am so surprised at the amount of people that are absolutely appalled at the the thought of another car touching theirs! OP you were in no way unreasonable and that other woman is clearly a psycho!

gotthemoononastick · 04/09/2014 12:15

We avoid parking next to any huge 4by4 vehicles,because sure as eggs out of hand little tykes fling doors open on to other cars.

Mummy of course oblivious or couldn't give a fig and will tell you damage is unavoidable in London!

Why do you have to hold your the door for them to get out?Teach respect for other's property and TELL them to wait!

Sorry OP a bit of a sideline.

Mondaybaby · 04/09/2014 12:15

OP - How horrible and upsetting for you. I hope you are ok and you can try not to take this incident personally. The other car woman and passenger were total scum who have no sense of right or wrong. I suspect it will make you feel better if you report this incident to the police and try to get some cctv. You may feel worse if you feel that you have just let them get away with it.
YADNBU

LittleBearPad · 04/09/2014 12:19

I'm intrigued Sister. You're driving along. An aggregate lorry pulls in front of you. Would you stop to protect your car?

MrsCosmopilite · 04/09/2014 12:28

I don't get why people are so precious about one car door touching another. If it's just resting there and has been carefully opened, so what?
However, deliberately flinging a door open to cause damage is different.
I hope ASDA have the footage and CCTV picked up their registration.

AnnieLobeseder · 04/09/2014 12:38

It doesn't matter if you understand or not, MrsCosmopilite. What matters is whether you're prepared to respect other people's wishes regarding their own property or whether you're so astounding arrogant in your own belief that you're right that you completely disregard and dismiss those wishes as precious and irrelevant and do what you want anyway.

petalunicorn · 04/09/2014 12:41

I often park in a car park with small spaces. I have a small (3 door) car, because it is old it is smaller than a modern small car. When I returned to it earlier this week someone with an even older car had parked next to me. I could stroll between the spaces and easily pop myself and all my stuff in the long door. People have these problems because modern cars are stupidly big. Get smaller cars people!

MissPenelopeLumawoo · 04/09/2014 12:42

I'm just not sure if it'll be that easily identifiable on CCTV, and the passenger could just say it was an accident.

Even if it was an accident, they would still be liable to pay for the damage to your car. That is what insurance is for!

SistersOfPercy · 04/09/2014 12:55

Oh Bear, you are just being obtuse now aren't you....

LittleBearPad · 04/09/2014 12:55

No I'm pushing your inane comments to their logical end.

Want some to dunk that in.

treaclesoda · 04/09/2014 13:05

I've already said further up thread that I don't rest my doors up against other cars but I actually prefer it if someone rests their door against my car than if they just leave it swinging. The reason I don't do it myself is because I know how irate some people get about anyone touching their car, not because I think it's the safer option.

Which leads me to another question. When pp have said that it is arrogant to think that someone else won't mind you touching their car, is it not equally arrogant to leave the door where it might accidentally damage another car? If I see someone rest their car against my door I'm thinking 'thank goodness they're careful' and if I see someone just leaving the door swinging I'm thinking 'you selfish beggar, you don't give a toss about anyone's car but your own'.

Is my annoyance less valid?

treaclesoda · 04/09/2014 13:06

and I'm aware of the irony of that, since I have just said that I do the balancing thing too, not the touching thing.

SistersOfPercy · 04/09/2014 13:10

Oh bear, if I'd realised a dozen comments ago that I needed to put it in very simple terms for you I would have done.

Stone chips - unavoidable
Door bangs - Avoidable

Got it?

Bouttimeforwine · 04/09/2014 13:12

YWBU for resting your door against hers. That would annoy me big time, however she should not have retaliated as she did.

So whilst you are not completely blameless, YANBU.

ebwy · 04/09/2014 13:32

based on this thread I'm going to start carrying one of those chunky foam things sold to stop doors slamming on little fingers... sounds like we'll need it!

(got it free a couple of years ago, never used it yet)

treaclesoda · 04/09/2014 13:35

it would also be helpful if car parks were designed with spaces that are actually big enough to fit cars in. There are two multi storeys in my nearest town. One was built about 35 years ago and has huge spaces and plenty of room. The other was built more recently and the spaces are tiny. Which is doubly strange as cars seem bigger

mamalino · 04/09/2014 13:48

Why can't parking spaces be slanted as in other countries? Well I know why, they want to maximise space, but I bet it has a knock on effect on insurance premiums.

SistersOfPercy · 04/09/2014 14:13

Treacle, in a thread a few weeks back someone said a modern Focus is around the same size as a 1970's Volvo, can't recall which model though.

If anything the trend is heading for smaller cars, supermini's are the in thing with low tax and insurance, and obviously they are much easier to fit into the smaller spaces.

We have experience of both, I drive a very small car, DH a huge 4x4. When we go out in either we look for protected spaces, end spaces or spaces by hatched areas where we can park over slightly giving more room. More often than not we head for the very back of the car park where there are much fewer vehicles. Certainly in these parts the main supermarkets have car parks that are big enough to have very quiet areas at the back.

I don't much enjoy spending weekends touching up chips from other peoples doors or trying to T Cut paint from my white car where someone else's door has rubbed up against it. I look after my car and I looked after the 15 year old heap I had before it.

I'm happy to accept that in everyday driving I'm going to get stone chips etc, thats part of life and acceptable and is one of those things, but someone 'resting' a door is doing that despite knowing that there is a good chance the owner of that car won't be happy about it. It's an avoidable mark/chip/crease/dent whereas a stone chip isn't and that is the difference.

Original poster

ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 04/09/2014 14:17

thanks again everyone for taking the time to comment. I think I am going to go ahead and report it - despite maybe not being blameless, I truly had the best of intentions and really didn't think my door could damage another car just by touching it.

whereas what they did was just outright malicious. I'm sure even all of you who say you would be angry at my door touching yours wouldn't react in such a way and set out to deliberately damage their car.

OP posts:

treaclesoda · 04/09/2014 14:24

sisters does that mean that a medium sized car is now the size of what was then a big car?

I'm not going on anything other than gut feeling, I don't have any real basis for thinking cars seem bigger other than that they just do

SistersOfPercy · 04/09/2014 14:36

I wish I could remember which model Volvo it was Treacle, it was on one of those P&C Spaces threads gulp
Spaces are smaller, mostly because planning laws dictate how many spaces there has to be for an application so sometimes they are shoehorned in but I think our perception of sizes is a bit skewed as well. When DH bought his Jeep I was amazed to find it wasn't actually much bigger than the Honda we'd got rid of, but it looked enormous.

Itwasnotyourfault, I don't think anyone on here would condone her behaviour. Very weird to be so protective of her vehicle one moment yet use it to cause damage (and to damage her own in the process) in the next.

trixymalixy · 04/09/2014 14:57

Cars in general have got bigger because of all the safety features like side impact protection etc.

MyFairyKing · 04/09/2014 15:28

Sisters "You make assumptions fairy.I have eds hypermobility and a severe scoliosis. I also have periods on crutches. I manage to walk that far."

Well, bully for you that you can walk that far. I can't.

Btw I made no assumptions, so don't try that one, you said yourself that you manage to walk that far.

Flip

1 2 ··· 8 9 10 11 12 13

Swipe left for the next trending thread