I am so angry!

[ItWasNotYourFaultButMine]

ok sorry if this is long, but I just need to get this off my chest, and to know if I was being the unreasonable one.

ok so today I went to asda. parked in a normal space as no p&c available. I opened my car door, as wide as it could go, guiding it with my hand and resting it against the car next to me gently, to climb into the back and pull out DD (I only have a 2 door car)

in the middle of this, I hear a very angry woman shout into my car "move your door off my car" - I was about to explain that I hadn't let it hit off her car, but just placed it there instead of opening the door a little bit and chancing a gust of wind coming and slamming it against her car - but I'm a wimp so I just apologised and closed the door and waited for them to pull out of the space.

I was playing with DDs hair, waiting on them leaving, when I heard a massive bang against my car. the passenger had deliberately flung her door open full force and slammed it into my car.

i looked in at her and she just shrugged as if to say "what you gonna do about it?" like i say I'm a wimp, but I got out the car at this point, and checked my car - she has made a massive dent and scratch down the drivers side of the door.

they drove away while I was looking at this and I didn't catch the reg plate.

I just can't stop being angry at this, they deliberately damaged my car, for nothing! but now I'm thinking, should I not have let my car door touch their car? would you have a similar reaction if you seen a car door open and sitting against your car?

Wow! I am genuinely amazed that people are so uptight that they would feel upset at someone resting a car door against theirs.

I am also having a wry smile to myself at the post about not scratching a car on country lanes - typical tourist

I can't believe the posters who think it's ok to risk damaging another vehicle it seems so entitled and bad mannered. Then again, there is no shortage of people who think it's their right to ride roughshod over others when it suits them.

I'm glad, OP, that you won't 'rest' your car door on another, it's rude, it's wrong and the majority of car owners will tell you straight if they catch you.

Nydj Do you seriously believe that having a child makes you so special that you can damage other people's property? So yes I bloody well would be going nuclear and demanding insurance details. It's not just the resting on car paintwork that does the damage, it's the up and down motion of the whole car whilst you faff about buckling your little darling in without a care in the world about my immaculate paint.

Wow! I am genuinely amazed that people are so uptight that they would feel upset at someone resting a car door against theirs.

Wow! I am genuinely amazed that people are so self-centred they don't give a fuck about other people's property.

Actually, I'm not. The number of scratches, dents and dings in my car door remind me every time I see them.

I am and that people are genuinely so uptight about a car. At no point has anyone said they don't care if they damage someone else's car, in fact quite a few times people have said that they do it in order to prevent any damage. If i can hold the door open and cushion it with my hand to prevent contact I will but if that isn't possible I might rest the door on another car and in 20odd years of driving I have never ever damaged another car - the fact that people are so precious about an object makes me sad. Also the fact that people think its ok to park across 2 spaces or park on the end of a row so the can park across the line just so that no one is able to get near their car is frankly a bit bloody precious!

I wonder how many people have actually had their car damaged by someone resting (not slamming) their car door on another because I've never met anyone. And I haven't actually read about any on here (although to be fair I haven't read the whole thread)

Wow you people must live such stressful lives worrying about your pristine paintwork. I couldn't give a shiny shite if anyone leans a car door against mine, I couldn't give two shits about tiny scratches on my car, and if I need to I will carefully place my car door against another to get awkward things/people in and out of my (five door) car. And if someone had a go at me I would think they were insane.

It's a car, it gets wet and dirty and scratched over time. If I couldn't cope with that I'd keep it at home under a blanket and take it for gentle drives on a Sunday!

Owl - I guess that is where we won't agree, i see no evidence of self centred behaviour on here with the exception of people taking up extra parking spaces so that their inanimate object doesn't risk getting damaged. As I have said in my last post, all the posts I have read indicate that people are taking care to make sure other peoples cars don't get damaged. If your car is genuinely that damaged maybe you need to park better? I haven't (and don't know anyone else who has) had their car damaged in a car park.

It is perfectly possible to use a car park without damaging property if people park properly and behave cooperatively rather than aggressively and defensively which is what seems to have happened to the poor OP.

OP- YANBU at all. Report to police- criminal damage- and call Asda for the CCTV for insurance claim.

I wonder how many people have actually had their car damaged by someone resting (not slamming) their car door on another because I've never met anyone. And I haven't actually read about any on here (although to be fair I haven't read the whole thread)

I suppose we wouldn't have any statistical information of that nature seeing as what usually happens is 'apparently precious' car owner comes back to car after shopping trip and sees a scratch or ding on their car and no car next to them because the person who has caused the damage has long since driven off. We therefore have no way of knowing whether it was a careless bang of their door into your wing, a gust of wind blowing their door into your car or a person but has decided it's okay to rest their car door on your car.

I am one of these precious car owners and I am precious about my car due to the cost of putting things right or incurring charges for numerous dings when I return the car at the end of the lease period. I am not precious about innocent young children being a bit over enthusiastic when opening car doors into mine because they haven't done it deliberately. I am not precious about damage that I have caused myself because that is my own doing. I am precious about grown adults who are careless or knowingly rest their car door against my car creating a risk of scratches and dings. Grown adults should know better than to go around behaving in a way that risks damaging other people's property just because it makes things convenient for themselves.

And for the record: I don't ever park over the lines or across two spaces. I always try to centre my car in the middle of the space.

I am not precious about innocent young children being a bit over enthusiastic when opening car doors into mine because they haven't done it deliberately. I am not precious about damage that I have caused myself because that is my own doing. I am precious about grown adults who are careless or knowingly rest their car door against my car creating a risk of scratches and dings.

And this is exactly why I do rest the door on another car occasionally - because there is far less risk of another car getting damaged than when a door is left to blow around in the wind or kids are given free rein to move the door around as they get out. So rather than being careless or convenient it is totally the opposite.

The comment about parking spaces was in reference to a few posters on here who have said that is what they do to avoid the risk of damage.

Where has anyone said they make sure to take up extra space (apart from those who said they try to park on the end) to avoid dings and scratches? If there was a post I missed it.

Yes but if a parent didn't hold the door for a child I would not blame the child because the child is innocent and doesn't know any better. A parent should hold the door for their child so that it doesn't touch the neighbouring car at all, but I wouldn't hold a young child responsible for his parents inability to consider other people's property.

i see no evidence of self centred behaviour on here

Oh, I must have imagined the "I'm going to rest my car door on yours so that it's easier for me" attitude.

Annie - there were a few earlier on in the thread who said that they would park on the end so that they could park over the lines or park across two spaces at the end of the car park.
Miss - But people are trying to be responsible and considerate. Until I read this thread it would never have crossed my mind that anyone could find anything to be upset about in that. People are doing it when there is no sensible alternative and the chances of damaging a neighbouring car are so minimal that it seems to me to be a sensible and considerate option. But then again people are surprising - I wouldn't have thought that hanging your underwear on a washing line was anyone else's business but apparently this is a crime against the community - you live and learn!
Off topic I know, but an example of how people have different and surprising views on things that seem to be totally harmless to others.

I haven't (and don't know anyone else who has) had their car damaged in a car park.

Well, I don't know anyone who hasn't! Mine has been damaged multiple times by careless, self centred twats.

Owl - at no point has anyone said that - that I have seen anyway.

I don't spend any time worrying about it but it pisses me off when it happens.

Owl - at no point has anyone said that - that I have seen anyway.

Everyone who said they would rest their car door against another in order to access their's has said it.

Perhaps you are very unlucky? Of the last 3 cars I have owned (going back about 12 years) 2 have been damaged - one by my son flinging his jumper around in our own drive and catching the door (tiny scratch), the other damaged twice;once by my husband reversing a motorbike into it (how can you not see a car directly behind you?!) and then by my (then) 18 month old 'washing' it with a rock - all in our front drive. No damage from car parks - ever.
As I say, you live and learn. I would never have thought that by trying to protect someones car from being damaged they would be upset, but I guess if we all thought the same way a) life would be boring and b) there would be no need for AIBU!

Annie I asked if anyone did, but it wasn't a direct question to anyone and I don't think anyone has admitted they do. which is great because its selfish

No they haven't said that Owl - I think you may be projecting your own views about people who do this rather than reading what has been said.

If you read the posts people are saying that they are trying to minimise any damage in a situation where potential damage could happen. I admit I haven't read the whole thread but this is certainly the case for the pages I have read - and as one of those posters you refer to I can say with certainty that I haven't said that.

Sure I will rest my car door on someone else's so that it is easier for me. I'm fine with other people doing that to my car too. I don't think it's self centred.

I stand corrected