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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I am so angry!

314 replies

ItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 02/09/2014 23:47

ok sorry if this is long, but I just need to get this off my chest, and to know if I was being the unreasonable one.

ok so today I went to asda. parked in a normal space as no p&c available. I opened my car door, as wide as it could go, guiding it with my hand and resting it against the car next to me gently, to climb into the back and pull out DD (I only have a 2 door car)

in the middle of this, I hear a very angry woman shout into my car "move your door off my car" - I was about to explain that I hadn't let it hit off her car, but just placed it there instead of opening the door a little bit and chancing a gust of wind coming and slamming it against her car - but I'm a wimp so I just apologised and closed the door and waited for them to pull out of the space.

I was playing with DDs hair, waiting on them leaving, when I heard a massive bang against my car. the passenger had deliberately flung her door open full force and slammed it into my car.

i looked in at her and she just shrugged as if to say "what you gonna do about it?" like i say I'm a wimp, but I got out the car at this point, and checked my car - she has made a massive dent and scratch down the drivers side of the door.

they drove away while I was looking at this and I didn't catch the reg plate.

I just can't stop being angry at this, they deliberately damaged my car, for nothing! but now I'm thinking, should I not have let my car door touch their car? would you have a similar reaction if you seen a car door open and sitting against your car?

OP posts:

WaywardOn3 · 04/09/2014 00:18

I'm starting to think that the woman who put the one and only dent in my nice shiny new month old car is on here.

She was such an entitled cow bag too spouting on about it just being a car and not important before storming off to do her shop.

Well it may just be a car but the way you present yourself, your car and your house are a direct indicator of you as a person and your attitude to life in general.

You/car/house etc. look dirty or not very well cared for indicates a lazy slob who really doesn't give a shit... I try not to park near these people as they obviously don't car about their own car so why would they care about mine.

Sometimes this sort if person parks near you after you've painstakingly chosen a space as the entitled cow did. So you can't blame us 'precious' people if we're annoyed when we come back to find some car door 'resting' more like potentially rubbing against our cars. I also avoid parking near 3 door cars as this is the sort of problem that type of car has and is why I refuse to buy one.

She's paying for the damage as I'm a mean bitch who actually gives a shit about my property and I chased her for payment hopefully it will teach her not to treat other peoples possessions as badly as she does her own... I won't hold my breath on that though

WillWorkForMoney · 04/09/2014 07:29

Can I ask, if the woman who dented the car was a passenger, how would a police report work out? Would it be the driver who has to pay up? (If they can track them down)

CelticPromise · 04/09/2014 07:45

How is the resting just as likely to cause damage? And the woman who is paying for this damage Wayward was she a basher or a rester? And wow what a weird way to think of people. I used to drive the most battered and unloved looking car ever. Then I got a new one. My personality didn't change.

Tabby1963 · 04/09/2014 08:10

Pugaboo you are missing the point I think. If you choose to travel at a high speed and get chipped paint on your car from stones then that is your choice. You don't get to choose to risk scratching my car door by touching it with yours when you get out of your car. That displays a rude, ignorant and entitled attitude.

twoandtwo that's a good idea, and considerate.

celtic I agree, people who cannot use a car park without damaging another car should not use one.

comito yes, it's pretty depressing, actually.

Wayward sorry to hear of your experience. It doesn't surprise me having read some of the selfish posters attitudes on this thread though.

CelticPromise · 04/09/2014 08:31

I think we have a different view of risk. I think that by parking in a public car park, where the cars are side by side, you do accept a risk that doors will touch your car, in the same way you accept a risk that you will be jostled walking down a busy street. Some spaces are so narrow that you actually have no choice, especially if someone has parked a huge car next to you.

I'm giving up on this thread, and hoping I never come across any of you people in a car park!

Beeyump · 04/09/2014 08:55

'entitled cow bag'... Blah blah blah.

picnicbasketcase · 04/09/2014 09:10

Agree with Gobblers, dollius and Celtic. It wouldn't bother me in the least if someone very carefully rested their door against my car, or put their hand in the way to prevent a bigger hit. Certainly wouldn't call anyone a cunt for doing so, or deliberately damage their property over such a trifling matter.

I really hope you can find whoever did this, OP, or at the very least that they've damaged their car more than yours in their moment of insane twattitude.

AnnieLobeseder · 04/09/2014 09:10

Maybe resting car doors causes damage. Maybe it doesn't. But has it occurred to those of you who think it's unlikely that it's not actually your call to make regarding other people's property? Nor is it your right to decide that someone else is being "precious" about the risk and that the bumps and scrapes you inflict are just part of owning a car.

I hope you will all consider next time you merrily rest your door one someone else's car that they have every right to be pissed off if you do so, no matter how harmless you may have decided the practice is.

AnnieLobeseder · 04/09/2014 09:12

Celtic accepting that someone's door/handbag/large arse will accidentally touch your car in a car park is very different from objecting to people deliberately touching your car with their door when it's so easily avoided.

CelticPromise · 04/09/2014 09:19

But those of us who havesaid we do it, do it precisely to avoid damage! When the alternative is to take the risk of it bashing the car. We don't do it as a matter of course. Have you never squeezed into your driver's door next to a closely parked car? How do you do that without the dreaded TOUCH? Isn't this why car doors have the edging on them?

AnnieLobeseder · 04/09/2014 09:22

I put my hand between my door and the other car.

AnnieLobeseder · 04/09/2014 09:23

And sadly, most modern cars don't have edging, which is a great shame.

Surfsup1 · 04/09/2014 09:47

OK, new business idea (and if any of you make your millions I want a cut!).
How about either a magnet with a foam pad that you pop onto your car door if you need to rest it on someone else's car? Alternatively a foam horseshoe shaped clip that does around the edge of your door, thereby protecting both doors?

Surfsup1 · 04/09/2014 09:51

Celtic accepting that someone's door/handbag/large arse will accidentally touch your car in a car park is very different from objecting to people deliberately touching your car with their door when it's so easily avoided.

Surely there are occasions when you mitigate the risk of an accidental door swing (on a hill, in high wind, when manoeuvring large objects) by carefully placing the door. I agree it's best to avoid the door-touch scenario, but sometimes it's the lesser of two evils.

Missunreasonable · 04/09/2014 09:56

Wondering if the resting will be getting more common with all the obesity

I did wonder whether this is part of the problem and is why some posters never need to rest their door on another car whilst other posters seem to need to do it fairly regularly.

mamalino · 04/09/2014 09:59

Surfsup1, read earlier on, I suggested this and also offered to give away a percentage but it has already been done.....like most of my wonderful ideas whilst mumsnetting

Surfsup1 · 04/09/2014 10:05

Bugger! Ah well Mamalino I don't think I'd buy one anyway!
If I was worried I might pop a coat or towel between the doors as a buffer.
I've done that before (too many damn Ferraris around here )

Lucked · 04/09/2014 10:18

I have been shouted at for this too, bunch of precious weirdos. Do you ever drive your car on gravel or on the motorway because it's debris at high speed that cause little scratches.

I now have a muslin on the floor on the back seat which I pop between the cars so no direct contact and people can see I am taking extra care of their precious cars even though I have never ever scratched a neighbouring car in all my years.

AnnieLobeseder · 04/09/2014 10:19

Well, my arse is enormous and the reason why I often need to crush my poor fingers in order to not damage anyone else's car as I squeeze out.

mamalino · 04/09/2014 10:23

Maybe those of us with enormous arses could use them as a cushion to rest their own door on whilst they are open? Seriously though, anyone regularly getting a car seat out of a three door car should be prepared for their back to be fucked in future years. It's not good. I am bitter as I now have an enormous arse AND a fucked up back.

SistersOfPercy · 04/09/2014 10:28

Do you ever drive your car on gravel or on the motorway because it's debris at high speed that cause little scratches.

Did you RTFT? Specifically the bit cited over and over and over again from several different posters that say....

If you choose to travel at a high speed and get chipped paint on your car from stones then that is your choice. You don't get to choose to risk scratching my car door by touching it with yours when you get out of your car. That displays a rude, ignorant and entitled attitude.

Surfsup1 · 04/09/2014 10:51

My only thing is, that I've never seen or heard of a car door being scratched or chipped when someone carefully places their food against it. Car paint is pretty tough stuff. I have, however, seen lots of chips caused by accident bumps when someone had the door on their bum and tripped backwards or accidental nudged it.
Surely the placement option is better/safer if not perfect?

LittleBearPad · 04/09/2014 10:53

Well not really Sisters. Ever driven behind an aggregate lorry or a lorry spreading grit. No need to drive fast for your car to get hit by tiny stones.

SistersOfPercy · 04/09/2014 11:24

Spectacularly missing the point there Bear....

The point being that driving a car under those circumstances is your choice, therefore you accept the consequences of chips.

It's not your choice whether someone rests their car door on your car.

Surfsup1 · 04/09/2014 11:54

So it's really a just a different way of perceiving the lean. I would be grateful that someone had been careful and gently placed their door their rather than risk a bang whereas others would be angry even though the risk is extremely low?

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