Parents. Don't take secondary kids INTO school buildings on the first day

[lordnoobson]

They'll be fine. Really. Car park tops. Or even (gasp) let them go alone.

Dd2 started secondary school last year, year 7 go in for the first day without the rest if the school. There are no school buses that day and we live a stupid distance from school so I gave her and two friends a lift.

I dropped them off then watched through cringing hands as parent after parent walked through the school gate. Dd would of been horrified.

Does happen every year. In my school parents are told they are not allowed into the building (apart from reception) and any found wandering are quickly, but nicely, separated from their offspring and taking in the direction of the car park.

I think a lot of parents baby their children to the point that the child actually becomes too dependent and then lacks life skills.

Aw when I was in Y7 my mum insisted on coming with me, and she took pictures the whole way. I thought I'd be kind and let her come with. I was left at the gates though, at my insistence. My future best friend was politely smirking at me the whole way, she was just behind us. Except when my mum stopped to take a snap. Then she'd get ahead of us for a bit.

I was walking to school and back by myself in Y6 but she's always been a bit camera happy....

God, it never occurred to me that any parent wouldn't drop their 11 year old child at a new school in their first day! Is it really not the done thing?! Evidently not by the unanimous response - but they're so little and school is so big! I went to boarding school so totally different experience; parents dropping us off in our rooms right through sixth form, but then obviously saying goodbye is for weeks at a stretch. So I honestly haven't a clue about this kind of thing in a normal school - the DCs are only 2.5 and 4mths though so I've got a while!

Too late!

Our schools went back last Thursday, and DD has told me that yes, some parents of new Y7 children did take their kids in......

Thank goodness I never did that, DD would still be trying to live it down in Yr 10!

When DD was in Y7, one girl was still being driven to school by her over-protective dad very late in the summer term. I know the girl's mum was getting exasperated by her DH, because she didn't want her DD being unable to walk to school.

note - we are talking about TAKING THEM IN. Parking and walking in.

NO! drop and let them go in themselves - all of them will have done some kind of trial day anyway.

Dd started reception today and as there are 90 in each year all in one area no parents are allowed in. She had 3 bags - all not much smaller than her - to carry to her locker. Dh was a bit worried how she would manage but she insisted on carrying them from as soon as they got off the bike all the way through the playground. She was very proud!

We all stand at the gate and remove children from their parents! Or should that be parents from their children?

They don't even get the opportunity to get through the gate, unless there's a very, very good reason.

I don't think my parents even knew where my secondary school was. They certainly never accompanied me there.

I walked to school on my own from the age of six. That was the norm. Oh, for the good old days.

OMG! DD1 is 6 and is already petitioning to walk to school with her friends (it's half a mile away so no chance) and DD2 is starting school this week and has informed me that she wants Daddy to take her for her first day because he won't cry and embarrass her, whilst I (apparently probably) will.

Charming.

At this rate, by the time they are at secondary school they will want their own bedsits!

At DD1's school, it was deeply uncool for your parents to pick up. Even the school coach was seen as a bit naff, compared to public transport. (We did a dry run a few days before she started, so she knew which train station to get off at, and the route for the walk to the school.)

At DD2's school, however, I was the only parent who did not pick up from school on the first day. Even the ones who were walking or using public transport were collected, and did the journey together with their DC. She's in Y9, now, and she's just about got over it.

I certainly meant "taking them in". DD said she saw parent IN the buildings, who were then ushered out.

The girl I mentioned who was driven, could so easily have walked down with DD and her friends, she only lives just along a short way, and the walk to school isn't that far.

DS1(8) and DS4(1) will be starting secondary/primary school at the same time. When DS1 worked this out he asked me rather tearfully how we were going to do the traditional both parents dropping off with photo taking with him and DS4 at the same time. I couldn't convince him that he wouldn't want us there on the first day of year 7 . He was reassured when I pointed out that secondary school starts 30 mins before primary. Somehow I think that he'll be happy to go on his own in 3 years time.

everyone is massively overreacting.

Tis just the first day.

You are all acting exactly the way y8's act towards y7s!

My DS walked to the bus stop alone but his best mates mum walked him to the bus stop and watched him get on and waved until the bus pulled off. She was also there to meet him with a big golfing umbrella when he got off the bus at the end of the day. She couldn't understand why he didn't talk to her for a week.

I will be taking my DS1 on the end of the road the school is in. A combination of roads with no crossings and no bloody common sense means I can't just let him go on his own. I am hoping the shame will galvanise him a bit to want to cross safely and not be so away with the faries.

My ds has aspergers and I'm so proud of him as he got 2 buses to and from his new secondary school today:)
For an 11 yr old who has lived 5 minutes away from his primary school, this is a huge thing for him.
We practiced and practiced and it paid off.
He's loving the independence.

His new school invited parents to lunch today and tea/coffee/cakes and to have a good look around.
My ds was adamant he didn't want me to go ( along with 3 yr old dd ) so I decided to let him enjoy his first day without mummy:)
My boy is growing up.
There's a whole new set of rules in "big school "

I saw this at the school I'm based at, yr7s started at 8.40, so parents hanging around the carpark and reception area. I was a bit surprised by this. But i was more shocked at kicking out time when loads of parents were waiting round the reception area and car park for their little cherubs! I saw one mother holding her 11 yr old sons hand across the car park! Shocking dont do it!

I can see where it comes from though.

At our primary the kids up to and including Y6 are allowed at when a parent is there to collect them, if they are walking home alone a letter must be sent outlining this, they are then released from a different door.

I would be very surprised to hear that parents hadnt done the same at our high school after 6 years of that. I dont the primary helps the kids tbh. I can see the need for security but going from a totally cossetted cotton wool environment to high school where they are expected to have some responsibility is a bit much. I think that Ys 5 & 6 should be left to their own devices a bit more, perhaps even to the point where the school encourages parents to let the kids walk.

I know one (now 23) 19 year old who flatly refused to catch the bus to work when her mums car broke down because she had never done it and simply could not countenance not being taken somewhere as opposed to finding her own way. She had never been anywhere where she wasnt driven by her parents. She got a disciplinary from work for it and her and her mother were both disgusted by it. She is still the same now except her boyfriend is the taxi driver. Last I heard they were planning a move to London, that could be fun :o

DS1 & 2 made it abundantly clear that there was no way I was going anywhere near their secondary school on day 1. Both of them (2 school years apart) made plans to meet up with their mates from primary school and walk down through town together. I have some great pictures of them walking up the road and waving goodbye. It was the last time their uniform ever looked so clean and shiny!

They're grown up now - like in their 30s - and they still remember the ridicule suffered by the friend of theirs whose mother insisted on walking him right up the school drive and then, shock horror, kissing him goodbye on the first day of secondary school.

I also saw parents trying to get to the classrooms this morning as well, luckily staff were there to usher them away! Much to one mummys annoyance! Crazy! Ive only got a 1 yr old, but i dump and run at nursery.

It does make me smile on Day 1 with the yr7's as we do have a lot of parents hovering around as the students are collected. None have ever made it into the building/form rooms etc. We were told to treat the students as if parents weren't there and get them in without fuss.

Dropping off - no issue, but following them on to the site I would have been mortified and feel the same for the Yr 7's now!!

I get to go in as I teach at the same secondary. He comes with me and wanders off from the staff car park :}

I think my year six ds is going to opt to go to another secondary........

I am astounded that parents do this, and that their children let them! Things have obviously changed wildly since my dd2 was in year 7. Two years ago....

Mabelsideswipe my circumstances exactly. Mine comes home partway by himself, but I meet him where the traffic gets to be a nightmare, as he's in his own little world and it terrifies me.

Even if I wanted to see him into school, though (I don't), I wouldn't be allowed, as no parents get past the school gates without an appointment.