Parents. Don't take secondary kids INTO school buildings on the first day

[lordnoobson]

They'll be fine. Really. Car park tops. Or even (gasp) let them go alone.

[Windmillsinthesand]

Until you have a child with difficulties you don't realise what they miss out on....I watched all the yr7 walking to school but I still have to take mine to the door and onto his LSA,I wish he could manage on his own but he can't so I manage for him. Somedays I hate autism.

[JaffacakesAreBiscuits]

it's incredibly smug and patronising to suggest that only children with SN would want to be dropped at school on their first day. Has it occurred to any of the self righteous parent judgers that your children might actually be too scared to admit that they're apprehensive? Mine was. He wouldn't admit to my ex that he's apprehensive about the long bus journey (8.5 miles) with currently no friends so doing it alone and then having to be sure he won't be late and get a detention because he would just be told to get a grip and grow up.

I do agree that walking into the actual school building seems a bit much, but really, accompanying on long journeys especially if they're by public transport for a few days until they gain their confidence is really that bad is it?

some people seem to have forgotten that these are still only eleven year olds, some bearly just eleven year olds. But let's throw them out into the world whether they want some support or not, and judge anyone who doesn't follow that script (and the children who dare to want the support). I only hope your children are really as confident as you think they are.

[mummytime]

Umm for the first day (only year 7 in) parents are invited to a coffee morning in school - so yes I went into school with her (even took her in by the door she is allowed to use rather than the parents door). Then shuffled off to coffee - no problem.

Today (first proper day), I chucked her out of the car with her sister, luckily they had their first lessons today in next door classrooms - so she will have found her way.

[sashh]

A friend's son attends a uni in the ext town so lives at home to save money. She asked me to give 'them' a lift for enrollment and I agreed but on condition that we would sit and have coffee while her ds did the enrollment himself.

We got chatting to another couple of parents who had doe the same, but there were a lot of students who were accompanied in to the actual building by a parent.

It was on a weekend and those living in halls would have been moving in so I can understand a lot of parents being around, but it seemed strange to me that they were actually going to the enrollment.

[deakymom]

i only go at three to embarrass the hell out of her YOOOO HOOO MOMS OVER HEEERREEEE!!

[lordnoobson]

to reiterate - drop your kids if you like. Dont park the bloody car and walk up to school with them

[SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker]

..and yet somehow my 18 year old is confident enough to be going to Uni 2,000 miles away and flying internationally (not just to France, another continent 22 hours of flying with changes) by himself while still at school... all this and he still had a bottle at three and sometimes his mother walked into school with him.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Lord-but some kids need walking in.

[lordnoobson]

No they don't. They are 11

[Dayshiftdoris]

So it's ok - if the have SNs

How do you know?

Do I have to wear a special T-Shirt to alert people so they don't judge my parenting?

[Dwerf]

Errol Oh the exhaustion meltdown! My dd3 had one last night, wailing "I'm not tired!" at half past nine, despite the bags under her eyes and the fact she'd been yawning for an hour. Her school journey has increased from five minutes to 40 so I expected this.

[capsium]

lord As I have said before, on this thread, SNs would not be such and issue if people were more flexible and tolerant of others.

My DC has had some SEN and has progressed fantastically in terms of independence. However 'fitting in' is made more more difficult if people are going to scrutinize every little individual difference.

Why not give parents and children the benefit of the doubt? Does it really matter that much, in the scheme of things, if some individuals take a tinybit longer than others to grasp some life skills? Do you have to draw attention to it? Odds on very soon many will be going into school by themselves like the rest.

[ArcheryAnnie]

Eh, all this "my child is desperate to be independent and was walking by themselves to school at 6" stuff looks suspiciously like just another form of competitive parenting, IMO.

[369thegoosedrankwine]

Here we have to let them go in the gate alone at juniors y3 and leave them to it. Day 3 and ds has been begging to just get out of the car around the corner and go down the road alone.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Lord-how on earth would you know if they need walking in? You know every eleven year old, do you? Or are you suggesting that all eleven year olds are the same and have the same emotional needs? If you don't want to walk your kids in then don't but please don't sneer at others who need to as it makes them feel shit and parenting is hard enough as it is.

[BigBoobiedBertha]

Lord doesn't make me feel shit for walking my son when he was 11. If she doesn't have the wit or the imagination to realise that not all 11 year olds are the same, that not everybody develops at the same rate or has the same needs then I feel sorry for her. Her sneering says a lot more about her than the parents who do what they can, knowing what their child is capable of. I just hope she hasn't passed on her sneering attitude to her children and that they are more tolerant of those who are different and may need some extra help for whatever reason.

For the record, I went in with DS1 because he needed it. I won't be going in with DS2 because even though he has a year to go before he starts secondary, I know he won't need me to do that.

[Bramshott]

I think there's some projecting going on here. Schools are not all scary places where to be seen in the company of a parent is instant social death.

FWIW I am a fairly laid-back parent and my DDs have been going on the school bus since Reception. I did drop DD1 at school on her first day of Y7 this week, and walked her into the grounds (although not to the actual place she was going to, just set her off in the right direction), I collected her later from a road nearby where she walked to. Today she's gone on the bus as she will do every other day. She wanted me to take her in and collect her on the first day, and her opinion carries MUCH more sway with me than some people on the internet. I was not the only parent there, and DD hasn't mentioned that anyone found it odd that I took her in.

[ArcheryAnnie]

Met DS halfway as usual, this time (for the first time) got a group of year 10s walking behind us calling "oh mummy!" in mimsy tones. Talked to DS about it. He doesn't care, but I do.

All of you here who are all "kids need to be independent, shouldn't be walking with their parents anywhere near the school, what feeble mollycoddled weaklings if they do" - if you've expressed this opinion anywhere near your own kids, I hold you responsible for this nastiness today.

DS would still like to be met. I would still like to meet him. It's a nice break in my working day, and we often choose what to eat for dinner 9and buy the ingredients) on the way home.