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AIBU?

Parents. Don't take secondary kids INTO school buildings on the first day

195 replies

lordnoobson · 02/09/2014 17:17

They'll be fine. Really. Car park tops. Or even (gasp) Hmm let them go alone.

OP posts:
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BobPatandIgglePiggle · 02/09/2014 21:54

We had parents bringing their children into the building today. One wanted to stay, in the classroom for induction.

I teach 16+ in an FE college!

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ReallyTired · 02/09/2014 21:55

Good grief! I had my son walking to school from year 4. My son was mortally embrassed when I got a job at his secondary school. He wouldn't walk with me to work.

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MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 02/09/2014 21:55

At my DCs secondary school, parents are told that they are not allowed on site unless it's for a very good reason such as a visit to the office. They are no account allowed to go to classrooms.

One morning I had a good reason to go, but wasn't allowed to walk with them, wasn't allowed to acknowledge them in any way, and I was told to keep my head down in case any of their friends recognised me!

Mine walked to primary school alone from about Year 4 or 5. I wasn't worried because the only road they had to cross had a lollipop lady. About a year after she retired they told me, and that she hadn't been replaced. So they'd been crossing a busy road unsupervised all that time and I didn't know Blush

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steppemum · 02/09/2014 22:02

wow.
ds started year 7 today, dh went with him on his bike to the station, from there he went on his own on the train, then walked from station to school.

To make it worse, it was only year 7 in today, so no older kids to follow from the station to the school.

We did offer to go on the train if he wanted us to, knowing full well that he wouldn't be seen dead with his parent on the train!

dh met him at the station at the end of the day. Dh will cycle with him this week, and then next week we will wave him out of the door.

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Bogeyface · 02/09/2014 22:06

OT but am I the only person who gets a bit teary when I see the new Y7's walking in on their first day?

They're so tiny and gorgeous and proud in their new uniforms! I remember my first day, I thought I was so grown up, but I was a baby!

DD is just going into Y8 tomorrow and I remember last year how her and her friends strolled off with the "we are grown ups now!" attitude, it was lovely :)

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IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 02/09/2014 22:10

Good god children are so smothered these days! My SIL is the worst for it. When her youngest DD started secondary she said how relieved she was not to have to take her in before work like she did at primary school. That lasted about a week, she has a baby DS and on my day off if he's napping at 3pm she calls to ask if I can nip over to watch him so she can pick her princess DD up. I've suggested that I should pick her up instead, but no, she "likes her mummy to be there" (DN doesn't in fact give a shit, it's SIL who can't bare not to be at her beck and call).

DN is 13 and the school is less than a mile away.

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ArcheryAnnie · 02/09/2014 22:12

Why do all your children not want to be seen with you? I don't crowd DS when he's with his mates, but if we happen to spot other kids he knows when we are out and about, eg at the weekend, he doesn't pretend not to know me, and I usually get a "hi, DS-mum" from them, too.

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RonaldMcDonald · 02/09/2014 22:12

Agreed

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ChillySundays · 02/09/2014 22:16

Bob - I will be going to bed laughing after reading your post!!! Especially since my DS is going for his induction day tomorrow!

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Bogeyface · 02/09/2014 22:16

Archery speaking for mine, its only the school run where they disown me!

If we are out and about its fine, but I think being with your mum on the school run means that your mum is taking you to school even if, as PP's have said, your mum happens to work there!

There is a family at the top of the road where the mum works at the school, I dont think I have ever seen them walk there together! But they are a very happy and loving family where the kids are not at all embarrassed to be seen with their parents at any other time.

Its the "I am not a kid anymore!!!" thing rather than "I have no parents!".

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steppemum · 02/09/2014 22:21

Archery - ds is happy to be seen with me in general, he is not happy to be seen with his mummy bringing him to school because he isn't big enough to go on his own.

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Bogeyface · 02/09/2014 22:21

In fact, that has just reminded me of a meeting I had at school with DS (now 23, then about 12). He has cerebal palsy and some learning issues and we were meeting with the SENCO (as was, not sure what they are called now) to discuss how to make learning more accessible for him. The meeting was at 8:30 am, the time he was due at school. At 8am he goes to leave as normal and I said "Hang on, we have that meeting, I'll take the car so we dont have to leave for 20 minutes"

He looked at me like I had just suggested he eat a bowl of dog sick garnished with turds. He said he would meet me there, when I opened my mouth to say "Why? We might as well go together" he said "You are soooo embarrassing!" and legged it.

Yet at the weekend etc he would always ask to come with me if I was shopping or running errands as he liked spending time with me and would introduce me to his friends if we ran into them!

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BackforGood · 02/09/2014 22:26

What Bogey said - it's not about not wanting to be seen with you, it's about being mortified that they even consider walking to school with you. Just don't.
BravePotato - everyone isn't ever-reacting.
This might be a debate you can have about Reception children, but we are talking about dc going to secondary school here.

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ReallyTired · 02/09/2014 22:28

Its really easy to embrass a young teen. All you have to do is exist! My son is truely horrified that his parents might have one had sex!

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Mintyy · 02/09/2014 22:30

I'm another one amazed at parents taking secondary school aged children right in to school. Its a bit embarrassing for your kids eh?

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70isaLimitNotaTarget · 02/09/2014 22:32

I walked my DC to school on their first day (Secondary) most parents did. But we waited either in the playground or at the gates.

They have to cross a very busy dual carriageway - there's a bridge. I've told my DS if he ever attempts to cross the road rather than the bridge I will wring his neck.

On the days I'm at work, I drop them en-route. On non work days, I drive past the school to the supermarket. DS always wants dropped off 5 minutes away from school to save the embarassment Grin

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starlight1234 · 02/09/2014 22:35

My Ds second day in reception said he could take himself as he knows the way now I took him once...So I am pretty certain he will have no issues walking to school on his own

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Bogeyface · 02/09/2014 22:36

My son is truely horrified that his parents might have one had sex!

My then 14 year old DD said, when I told her I was expecting DC6 "OMG!!!! This is soooo embarrassing. I mean I know people have sex but do you have to tell everyone by getting pregnant?! Have you not heard of condoms?!"

It would have been funny if I wasnt so upset at her not talking to me for months. Funny thing is, she is utterly in love with her (now) 3 year old DSis and her only complaint is that people think that she is DD1's DD when we are out because they always walk together and play together!

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Bogeyface · 02/09/2014 22:39

I walked my DC to school on their first day (Secondary) most parents did. But we waited either in the playground or at the gates

No!!!

Mistake 1 - Not waiting 5 minutes down the road
Mistake 2 - Calling it the playground. At high school it is called "The Yard"
Mistake 3 - Walking him there and not following at a discrete distance so you know he is ok but he doesnt know you are there.
Mistake 4 - Existing on a school day!

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LaQueenOnHerHolibobs · 02/09/2014 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood · 02/09/2014 22:45

I told 15yr old dd about this thread, about 15mins ago, and she hasn't stopped ringing and squirming yet.
She just keeps going "Nooooo" and coming to check if I was winding her up Grin

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Reepits · 02/09/2014 22:47

I would have liked to have been dropped of to school, then maybe that boy who kept trying to force himself on me might have been stopped, but as it happened nobody gave a shit.

Glad all your kids are doing fine and tough, but it's best not to juspdge others really, because let's face it most dint have a fucking clue what other people kids have suffered or are scared of.

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Bogeyface · 02/09/2014 22:49

LQ What ho!

I would agree with you completely but for the fact you gave used "Holibobs" in you new UN. For that alone I am afraid I will have to pretend that I have never heard of you.

Such a waste.....Wink

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BobPatandIgglePiggle · 02/09/2014 22:49

chilly I laughed at the dad today as I genuinely thought he was joking but no, 'darling daughter gets nervous' apparently. No shit sherlock - maybe because you've forgotten to stop babying her!

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BreconBeBuggered · 02/09/2014 22:50

I'm sitting here snivelling like an utter twat because my baybeeee is starting secondary school tomorrow. Really, I am. But there is no way on earth I'd consider doing anything more than ushering him out of the front door in the morning.

MIL is coming round to take pictures of the momentous occasion. I hope she respects DS2's social standing as well.

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