Parents. Don't take secondary kids INTO school buildings on the first day

[lordnoobson]

They'll be fine. Really. Car park tops. Or even (gasp) let them go alone.

[Bogeyface]

Ree I am sorry that happened to you and people should have listened. But this thread is about over protective parents, its not about protecting vulnerable children.

Again, I am sorry for what you went through.

[LynetteScavo]

It would have been social suicide to even be dropped off by a car when I was at high school.(Even if it was your boyfriend, because you then got called some very nasty names). There was one boy who arrived and went home by car. He lived in a village, unlike the vast majority of the school, and no bus went to that village. Oh how we laughed at him for years.

But in those days walking 1 or 2 miles to school was normal. Now it seems to be a physical impossibility.

[jellybeans]

I know so many young people ferried about by parents until college or even university age. Tends to be the sheltered middle class kids in general. Mine started walking on their own by year 6. I was nervous but I let them do it. Many of the people who drop their precious DC off are not on their way to work nor live miles away. Causes chaos on the roads around school.

[CouldntGiveAMonkeysToss]

I remember when I started middle school (aged 9) and my controlling mother insisting she was taking me and me insisting that she was not. In the end I managed to convince her that I would not get abducted on the five minute walk to school with my brother and the two other girls from the same street who also attended the school.
The only people whose parents took them to school were driven, there wasn't many and their parents never left the car.
Ds1 starts reception tomorrow, parents are allowed in for the first week, after that it's drop off at the door.

[Morloth]

I think dropping off is fine and when DS1 starts high school his school is on my way to work - don't see it any different to lift sharing.

But he would be mortified NOW if I was to walk him in.

School happens much later here though, he is 10 in year 4 so will be 13 when he starts high school, he can walk or get a lift or get the bus. Up to him.

He has walked to/from school alone from aged 7 so I think he will be able to handle it.

[WelshBlackbird]

My dd is starting at her new school (year 8) tomorrow. I received a call from school today telling me I have to take her to reception by 9am in the morning to meet the Head and fill in some forms. DD is mortified that I would be anywhere near her school.

I have had instructions to make sure I don't stand anywhere near her just in case one of the kids sees us and then remembers her as the kid who has to come to school with her mum!

I would not choose to go with her. She obviously doesn't want me there. Oh well.......I hope I don't have to set foot in the school ever again :)

[Suefla62]

It's common here in the States to drive our kids to school, even in a High School, they even have a special drive in, where you can pull in drop the kids and drive off. I used to drop my daughter on my way to work because we lived eight miles from school.

The rule was you pulled in looked straight ahead and pretended that your child was just someone you had picked up on the side if the road and didn't speak . Worked out beautifully for years until by husband took our daughter to school one day. She came home in the afternoon and stropped in and told me, "don't ever let Daddy take me to school again" turns out that when she had got out of the car he said "bye Honey, have a good day".

[Weathergames]

I drive my 3 to secondary school because it's cheaper than the bus - and they can get up later (they get the bus home). I drop them in school as it's the easiest place to park and on my way to work - I have to wear dark glasses, have music turned right down and pretend not to be associated with them though.

They moan like hell if I am off and they have to get the bus in .

[Iffy2014]

I start at my first new school since training tomorrow (am a secondary teacher). I've always worked in the school I trained in up until now.

I think there's some part of my mother that would still like to come with me to drop me off... I have visions of my Year 7 form group and myself BOTH wrestling our parents away in embarrassment.

My younger brother was quite grateful to have me come along on his move to university several years ago. We went with him to carry boxes from the car, dump them in his halls, along with a few carrier bags of Tesco shopping, then Mum was quite surprised to find herself being collared into the car again by me. She was under the impression she was staying the whole day! He had a freshers' fayre and evening party to get himself sorted for!

We do all laugh now at the memory of him standing near the halls entrance, doing an odd sort of "hold the hand up" wave, whilst looking determindely in another direction, whilst Mum was weeping in the car next to me, wailing, "But he doesn't know where a cash point is! And he says he's going to have a sausage sandwich for his teeeea!! How will he know if it's cooked through properly?!?!"

[HavanaSlife]

Ds 2 starts secondary tomorrow, I wont be walking him!

One of the local schools has closed so most of the children are moving to the school ds2 will be going to.

I have friends who will be walking their year 8s and 9s as its an extra 20 mins walk and you have to cross a main road, even though there are plenty of crossings. Its madness!

[NinjaLeprechaun]

When my daughter was 11/12 I would walk to the bus stop and wait, with her and the other kids, for the bus She was the only child over 5 to have a parent along, but if I didn't do it she would get 'lost' on the quarter-mile-in-a-straight-line walk and 'miss the bus'.
Honestly, I think I was more embarrassed about it than she was.

[Idontseeanysontarans]

Miaow that's what put secondary school does: year 7 starts at the usual time, year 8 half an hour later and the rest of the school half an hour after that.
DS refused to even walk to the bus stop with me this morning when I took his sister to school (dropped her in the playground), he hung around in the garden for 5 minutes then walked down!
Then studiously avoided eye contact when he saw me at the bus stop. I was so tempted to go and give him a big kiss on the cheek and mess up his hair

[ArcheryAnnie]

Reepits very good point. When I was waiting closer to the school that first term I had to call security on some boys who were physically assaulting some girls. The staff at the gate didn't give a shit, and there were few other parents about. Other times I had to call security because of bottles being thrown about, fighting, a random kid I didn't know being harrassed as a "faggot" as he walked home, etc. etc etc. This is a school in a very naice area.

I'm most scared of traffic (which is hellish around here), but that first term was a wake-up call. If you all seriously think the worst thing that can happen to your 11-year-old is a bit of social embarrassment that their parents exist, think again. I'm glad I was at the gate when those girls got attacked.

[CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla]

My mum & dad never dropped me off or picked me up, I made my own way unless I was poorly and had to be picked up. There was one girl who, for four years, had her mum walk her to the bus stop. It was ridiculous, she was very babied. She was bullied a lot too because of how innocent and nieve she was. Kinda sad really but thats what happens when your parents pick you up and drop you off by going into the building. You get bullied so I would never do this. My mum walked me round the corner and left me there.

[ArcheryAnnie]

Bullies are going to bully, Crayola, and if they don't have one excuse they will find another. Blaming it on the mother's actions lets the bullies - the ones who were actually at fault - off the hook.

[ElephantsNeverForgive]

Contract bus here. DH used to wander down to the bus stop with DD1. But we were first stop so no one to see and they messed about and chatted.

Stopped when DD2 started seniors and the bus did one pick up before us.

If I pick up at school (which I have to because bus is incredibly slow and DD2 has to be somewhere else) it's wait in the car on the road. Parents shouldn't be seen.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I'm always a bit envious of parents whose kids don't mind them coming into school-ds just about wants me there for parents evening! he went off today but here it's year 9 they go to high school, actually last year I think he would've struggled and been extremely nervous and I might have been a parent that went it,I doubt it but it's possible. Kids are different they need different things,I try not to form an opinion until I know the whole story.

[ErrolTheDragon]

DH did a dry run with DD in the hols before she started secondary - bus, where to cross the road safely and find entrance. Then on the first day she escorted her friend who hadn't done this to school, so that worked out nicely.

On the rare occasions when we have to pick her up from school, sometimes we wait in the public carpark round the corner, but she doesn't mind me waiting by the gate if I've got the dog with me as she quite likes her classmates cooing over him and he's a valid reason for me to be out of the car.

[VSeth]

There must be something wrong with me because I was never embarrassed to be seen with my parents anywhere.

I hope my DC take after me but suspect that I will be crying at the thought that I am somehow an embarrassment around school and will try to behave my best on parents evening.

[TheLovelyBoots]

My year 7 son wanted me to walk him into the building, but I was shooed away by the head teacher. I gather this is weird.

[ErrolTheDragon]

My DD is fine with us being there for parents' evening, and other school events because then we're supposed to be there. But when we had to go into the town where her school is to the school uniform shop at the start of the hols, it was as quickly in and out as possible, certainly didn't want to go to shoe shops or get a snack there as she reckoned People Might See Us. Thank heaven she goes to school in the next town to ours otherwise she'd never do real-life shopping!

[BBQsAreSooooOverrated]

My dd won't walk with me to school let alone into school. She's just about to start high school. I have to take my ds to the middle school next door but her snd her friends leave 15mins earlier to avoid being seen anywhere near their parents/younger siblings :)

[IrianofWay]

We live 5 minutes from the school. DS2 met his two best friends at our house and they walked in together. Even DD who is in Yr 11 refused to walk with them saying they'd look like total wimps

[capsium]

I was relieved to hear some parents still do walk their DC to school in the first few days. SNs would not be such an issue if people were more tolerant of people having individual strengths and weaknesses.