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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I nearly killed myself today

476 replies

PepsiTwirl · 25/08/2014 23:48

Really sorry but put here for traffic.

I put it in mental health a couple of hours ago but noone responded.

I was going to kill myself , but just as I was about to take tablets, my partner walked in.

DP knows I'm having a hard time, but not this hard.

We spoke for abit, and cried together. DP now asleep and need to talk

(I added a symbol to a random thread to make sure name change had worked)

OP posts:
MyPrettyToes · 26/08/2014 00:25

triplets Thanks

Pepsi this may seem a horribly lonely time for you but they are many many lovely people out there who can help you. Tell them. you have done a wonderful thing in writing, take the next step.

Coumarin · 26/08/2014 00:25

Call the Samaritans. Tell them what you have told us.

Read your op out to them if that will help and then take it from there.

You can keep talking for as long as you like. Hours if that's what you want. They once got me through a very difficult night.

They can't stop the way you feel but speaking out loud to a stranger who will listen is very effective. I don't know why but it is.

Just try it. You can hang up and try again as many times as you want to.

You can deal with tomorrow when it comes. Right now, concentrate on the next 10 minutes- half an hour and keep doing that.

Thanks
anonacfr · 26/08/2014 00:25

Try to take one thing at a time- if the big picture is too overwhelming focus on the right now. What can you do next? Posting here was a great idea- keep posting until you feel ready to talk to someone or to go to the a & e.

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 00:26

Haven't woken partner and not going to

OP posts:
Coumarin · 26/08/2014 00:26

That should say 'Concentrate on getting through the next 10 minutes- half an hour and so on.'

Coumarin · 26/08/2014 00:27

Can you keep posting here Pepsi ?
Whatever you want to say, we are listening.

Spartak · 26/08/2014 00:27

Why don't you want to wake him? xx

triplets · 26/08/2014 00:27

Then talk to us about your pain so we can understand Pepsi, tell us about you because we are now all very concerned. Please listen to us, some of us have been where you are now, we do know how you are feeling, so low you can see no other way out. But there is an only you can do it, go wake your dp, please do not sit alone, please wake him now. xx

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 00:27

Thank you everyone here so much

OP posts:
anonacfr · 26/08/2014 00:28

Why not Pepsi?

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 00:29

DP has work soon, won't be fair to wake up

OP posts:
anonacfr · 26/08/2014 00:29

Your well being is more important to him that a bad night's sleep.

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 00:30

I'm in the front room.

Londons burning is on the TV, i watched it as a kid

OP posts:
Septbaby · 26/08/2014 00:30

Stay here and talk, just say whatever you need to say, we all care xxx

Spartak · 26/08/2014 00:30

You are more important than his work right now. Please wake him up.

Coumarin · 26/08/2014 00:30

Which channel is it on? I'm sat up on my own and liked that when I was little too.

anonacfr · 26/08/2014 00:31

If he knew you were sitting alone the way you are right now he would want to be there with you helping you through everything.

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 00:31

London Live.

OP posts:
Spartak · 26/08/2014 00:31

I used to love London's burning Pepsi. I wanted to be a glamourous female firefighter!

deeedeee · 26/08/2014 00:32

I know two people who's partners killed themselves. It has completely and utterly dominated their lives since. They are consumed with guilt, anger and sadness. Neither of them has been able to move on and find new love/ life. Both of them had their lives taken away from them by their partners suicide. You wouldn't just be killing yourself. It's not the easy way out, you wouldn't just slip away and make the pain stop. You'd cause an explosion if pain all around all the people you care about that wouldn't fade quickly. It's not fair. Get medical help. You are mentally ill to be feeling this way. Talk to someone as soon as you can and get help. Killing yourself is not a way to make the pain stop. It is a way to make more pain. You can make the pain stop. Ask for help.

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 00:32

I wanted to be a paramedic

OP posts:
DanielSan · 26/08/2014 00:33

Please please phone someone, or wake your partner up. I know it's a risk, and you feel like you're at the bottom just now, but we're all here thinking about you and hoping for you. I promise, pick up the phone and talk to someone, and you will feel better, even if just a little. This will pass and one day you will be ok. Be brave, we're standing right beside you, please pick up the phone xxxx

Isabeller · 26/08/2014 00:33

It can be really difficult to start a conversation with the Samaritans but it is worth having a go, even if you need to ring more than once to actually get a conversation going.

I have found them incredibly helpful over the years. You could try this

ring 08457 909090

someone will answer and say 'Samaritans, can I help you?'

You could say 'It has been suggested that I ring you up so I am'

then see what they say. If you don't want to carry on you can just say "I'm going to go now' and put the phone down.

If you ring back you will get a different person.

It's just a suggestion but if you can, have a go xx

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 26/08/2014 00:33

I was sexually abused when I was 9

OP posts:
Coumarin · 26/08/2014 00:34

Ah I only have digital here up North.

Have you eaten recently?