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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I nearly killed myself today

476 replies

PepsiTwirl · 25/08/2014 23:48

Really sorry but put here for traffic.

I put it in mental health a couple of hours ago but noone responded.

I was going to kill myself , but just as I was about to take tablets, my partner walked in.

DP knows I'm having a hard time, but not this hard.

We spoke for abit, and cried together. DP now asleep and need to talk

(I added a symbol to a random thread to make sure name change had worked)

OP posts:
triplets · 28/08/2014 00:50

I feel I have become quite fond of you, night night xx

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 28/08/2014 00:52

Night x

OP posts:
Coumarin · 28/08/2014 01:01

Night night lovely. Wishing you a peaceful night.

Sorry if any of my posts have got on your nerves or come across as naggy.

Xx

Italiangreyhound · 28/08/2014 01:21

Dear PepsiTwirl I just saw this thread from you and had to come and say hi and just echo others who have said the past was not your fault.

Please could I also say, please get some help for yourself. I think you said you had had some counselling but counselling varies a lot and maybe the counselling you had was not the best kind for you.

Also, I saw this today and it really moved me.

www.upworthy.com/she-felt-she-didnt-deserve-to-live-then-robin-williams-died-and-everything-changed?g=2&c=ufb1

If it is not helpful, please ignore it.

I really hope you will feel more able to face life soon, you are a brave person. Please be kind to yourself. You have obviously moved a lo of people here and so please do feel valued and cared for and please seek out some similar help in real life. You are worth help.

Please, please do ignore anything I say that is not helpful.

Coughle · 28/08/2014 03:19

Very glad you slept, Pepsi! Wishing you another 12 hours.

I'm glad this thread is helping you. I agree with pp, you do sound stronger. You've come so far already. You will get through this time, you will figure out which direction you want to take to heal and you will have all the support you need to make it happen.

Flowers
oldnewmummy · 28/08/2014 03:29

Hi Pepsi

Still here, but was tied up with work/school run etc.

Hopefully you're asleep now, but we're all still here if you need us.

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 28/08/2014 07:46

Managed to sleep for just under 5 hours last night..

The k you all so much x

OP posts:
DD85 · 28/08/2014 07:50

Glad to hear you got some sleep Pepsi! Xx

wakemewhenitsover · 28/08/2014 08:00

Morning Pepsi. Glad to hear you got some sleep, I also got about 5 hours which is not usually enough for me so will be on go slow today! Do you have any plans for the day? I'll be getting my boys to school and then going to the library. Do you read much? I like to get engrossed in a good book when I need to shut the world out for a while. My son has me reading Harry Potter - I can recommend for escapism x

triplets · 28/08/2014 08:29

Good morning Pepsi, good morning ladies. Yesterdays sun was a brief respite, its misty and drizzling.............I love the summer and see it disappearing too quickly. Its also Thurs morning, after 20 years I still struggle with Thursday mornings as that was when Matthew died in my garden, around 11am. So I shall make myself get up and out, need to anyway as discovered we only have half a loo roll left in the house!! I love reading, have just put my book down. I belong to a book club, we have been going nearly 9 years! This book is my choice, its called Stoner by John Williams. It was recommended to me by a Mnetter and its just one of the most beautifully written books I have ever read. Its the story of William Stoner, it takes you through his whole life, which is largely uneventful..........sounds boring but its so not...........a must read! Whats the weather like in London Pepsi? Going to try to bring my dd up, Camden market sounds good, I am just not very good getting around, not used to the tube! She would I think like the Art galleries, are they free? xx

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 28/08/2014 08:38

Morning everyone.

Most art galleries are free, and they pop up everywhere in London.

Weatger today is abit muggy and wet but not raining at moment, and looks like it may brighten up.

I like reading, i use to read alot, but haven't done in awhile.

Iv got the 'Miranda' book, I love her, silly and funny, so it maybe a funny read...

May start reading that..

Triplets - Matthew is always with you xxx

OP posts:
triplets · 28/08/2014 08:42

Thank you Pepsi, its so nice to see someone write his name.........xx

oldnewmummy · 28/08/2014 09:33

You sound a lot brighter Pepsi.

Nice and sunny here (Oz) today, but due for storms tomorrow. My son has a school excursion and sleepover tomorrow so hope it holds off!

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 28/08/2014 11:01

Iv just got to say, iv seen some MN users be useful to others and some mean to others when there has no need to be...

But you guys honestly saved my life this week.

If I hadn't had you guys in the dark of the night I know I would of killed myself.
I had all the pills ready, had wrote the note

So a huge thank you to all of you that have been so nice to me xxx

OP posts:
MrsMinton · 28/08/2014 11:57

Pepsi I'm so glad you've slept and are here.

Unlabelled · 28/08/2014 12:33

Really happy to see you here Pepsi, on the other side I have had 2 family members commit suicide and I cannot describe to you how devastating it is, to know that someone you love so much felt so alone that they felt it was their only choice is gut wrenchingly painful.

We know that had either of the family members approached any one of us we would have moved heaven and earth to help but we didn't get that opportunity and they obviously felt the couldn't ask.

You're not a burden and no one will benefit from you not being here, in those darkest days when you are rock bottom know that the only way from there is up and that someone will always reach out to you.

I really hope you're able to overcome how you feel and to get the right help to do that. Thanks

Coughle · 28/08/2014 12:47

Really glad to see you have kept going Pepsi.

Actually that doesn't come close to how I feel... Not just glad... Overjoyed, grateful, relieved, and in awe of your courage...

HOORAY! Pepsi is ALIVE.... Still breathing, heart beating, eating and drinking and sleeping... SHE MADE IT.

I'm far away and will never see you or know your real name but I'm very very very pleased you're alive.BrewCakeFlowers

londonrach · 28/08/2014 13:31

So pleased persil that you are the strong woman you are. Xxxx

anonacfr · 28/08/2014 14:02

I've been thinking of you so much this week. I am so glad you were strong enough to reach out and that you found help here.

Now keep strong and look after yourself. You've managed to handle the toughest time. Now you need something to look forward to- a book, a walk, a holiday... Anything that you can plan and enjoy.

triplets · 28/08/2014 14:59

Proud of you, I hope we keep in touch xx

Original poster
PepsiTwirl · 28/08/2014 17:27

Triplets.... xxx

OP posts:
triplets · 28/08/2014 20:29

I Pepsi, just looking in on you, I am in bed in a bad mood with dh............long story! Need some space, there is not a lot in this small house with three 16 yr olds. Nothing on the tv, so going to read. How was your day?xx

Italiangreyhound · 28/08/2014 21:32

PepsiTwirl thinking of you today.

migsymoo · 28/08/2014 21:34

I've been reading this and I'm glad you are feeling better, I've been where you are and is a dark dark place. Much love xx

ritachaher · 28/08/2014 22:43

You have made my week PepsiT! Thank you xxx

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