To leave 16yo and 12yo DS home alone for a WEEK?

[MsRyanGosling]

Hi!

We are going on holiday next week, 1h40 away from home. DS1 16y, stayed at home earlier this year alone for a full week (had DoE project to do) and he enjoyed the independence. Survived on hob/microwave meals mainly and sandwiches.

Now 12 yo (nearly 13) DS2 is desperate to be allowed to also stay home with DS1 looking after him.

For: Would be in Skype/Text contact daily+ , Both are mature, don't go for socialising (unless online), DS1 could be trusted as proven before, we would be less than 2 hours drive away and would easily come back if necessary

Against : The house may be burgled by masked robbers, the house may burn down, The internet might go down - what would they do then?! It feels 'off' because he is only 12 They might get run over if they go out replenishing food supplies.

Mumsnet Jury?

No way.

For a night, yes, but a week is too much responsibility for a 16 year old. Just my gut feeling.

At 12 no way, it wouldn't be fair on the 16yo either, too much responsibility.

My mum trusted me alone at 16 but if siblings were about she got my gran to stay with us overnight.

This was mostly because I was a selfish cow as a teen and would have buggered off out and left younger siblings to it or fought with them.

I think if your sons are mature and get on well and will look out for each other, it's fine.

Nope because they would spend a week minecrafting in fetid rooms, forgetting to eat well or shower, bleee.

Compromise with letting DS2 stay at home for two days then come back and get him? Would that work?

No, not at 12.

absolutely not.

No.

Does your 12 year old really see your 16 year old, less than 4 years older than them, as an authority figure? I'd be worried that 'don't tell me what to do, you're not my mum!' would kick in, sibling rivalry would break out and they'd ignore instructions.

No, I have left my 16 year old for a weekend without any qualms but I would not leave the thirteen year old as well. Too much responsibility and also restricting what the older one can do in terms of meeting friends etc.

The 16 year old fine, but not the 12 year old.

No way would I do that.

I have an 18yo and a 14 yo and I still wouldn't do it even for a weekend (which would make my life a hell of a lot easier but hey ho). Am considering it for next year's holiday when they will be 19yo and 15yo, but we would be out of the country for that.

I have an almost 16 year old and an almost 12 year old and whilst I might leave them for a day., I would never leave the 12 year old for a week.

My DS1 is 16 & DS2 is 13.

Hell would have to freeze over before I would leave them alone in the house together for one week .

How is it fair on the 16 year old if you allow the younger one to do things that he had to wait for?

I think it is fine for the 16 year old to be left for a week, but definitely not the 12 year old too.

No, I wouldnt do it I'm afraid. I would consider it over night if they had the right sort of personality but not for a whole week.

My initial reaction was 'You have to be fucking kidding'. Why does 16 seem so much younger now than when I was 16

I wouldn't. I think the 12 year old is too young to be left alone and therefore you are leaving the 16 year old looking after him/in charge and IMO the 16 yo is too young for that much responsibility. I'm not entirely sure I'd leave the 16 year old for a whole week without the 12yo, so it's a definite no with.

I think you'll have to put up with the sulking!

Mine would fight!!
In fact they did fight when I left them as teens.
I was in Ibiza with the younger ones and had to get a friend to go round and sort them out!!

We all, as parents, have to go through a couple of years of sulky teen on holiday

'tis a parenting rite of passage, I am afraid

Led how old were yours when you went to Ibiza ?

Absolutely not.

No way would I leave a 12 or 13 year old with my 16 year old however responsible you thing they are, it's too young and it's also unfair to expect the 16 year old to look out for the 12 year old.