To leave 16yo and 12yo DS home alone for a WEEK?

[MsRyanGosling]

Hi!

We are going on holiday next week, 1h40 away from home. DS1 16y, stayed at home earlier this year alone for a full week (had DoE project to do) and he enjoyed the independence. Survived on hob/microwave meals mainly and sandwiches.

Now 12 yo (nearly 13) DS2 is desperate to be allowed to also stay home with DS1 looking after him.

For: Would be in Skype/Text contact daily+ , Both are mature, don't go for socialising (unless online), DS1 could be trusted as proven before, we would be less than 2 hours drive away and would easily come back if necessary

Against : The house may be burgled by masked robbers, the house may burn down, The internet might go down - what would they do then?! It feels 'off' because he is only 12 They might get run over if they go out replenishing food supplies.

Mumsnet Jury?

I left (with qualms) DDs 18 & 16 this summer for a week. It was fine but we do have a friend who lives four doors down who is utter gentle giant but huge and scary looking and the DDs had instructions to call him with any probs and he did a saunter past every evening.

They did party a bit but I called them every day and we came home to a very clean house and not too many empties in the recycling bin and they'd enjoyed it. probably helped that they both had jobs so weren't kicking round bored at home all day.

I wouldn't have left them at 16 & 12 - they'd have fought like cat and dog (they're best mates now!) and I'd have ended up coming home after 48 hours, I'm sure.

No way!

Ds1 is 15 tomorrow and this summer I have left him at home overnight alone. He is ridiculously sensible. Always Been like an old man. But that was with dp an hour away at work (but working overnight) and a friend who he met up with during the day to go to cinema. Friend was a room mate at uni and is essentially an 'uncle' type figure.

He was fine and I imagine next year I would leave him for a weekend.

Ds2 is 12 and just no! Would not leave him with ds1 as its not fair on ds1 and a 12yr old just does not get a choice, they come on holiday end of.

Not a chance.

No.

Wouldn't even consider it.

My DC are 13 and (just turned) 16. They are at home every day on their own together during the hols (I leave for work at 6.30am and get back around 7pm) without incident, and occasional evenings from say 7.30-8 til midnight. Despite that I have never left my elder DC at home for more than a night - he doesn't mind being here on his own for the odd night but not for longer than that- and I'm not sure I'd leave both of them overnight just yet, and certainly not for longer than a night, DC2 just seems too young at 13.

Could a compromise (if they are both really keen to stay on their own) be to leave them for 1-2 nights, as you're not that far away?

It's probably on face book as we speak as party invite to a free house

Don't don't don't.

No, can't believe you are even asking

My eldest two were 17 and sixteen the first time we left them for a week. My friend lives directly opposite and is far more scary than I am judging by the fact that there has never been parties or trouble or mess here but the first time she left hers they had a party and she came home to mess and a heap of teenagers drunk in the garden.

Another no, absolutely not.

No way. Why can't you take both of them on holiday with you?

God no! 16 year old fine for a week with someone on call in an emergency, but I would never leave a 16 year old responsible for a 12 year old for a whole week unless an absolute emergency. Maybe for a weekend if I was in the country.

I find some of the responses here quite interesting. I am old enough to have left school at 15 and when my DPs went on holiday I had to go to work. We had no phone then and they just went off with my DSis. I remember that if there were any problems I had to go to neighbours (there weren't).

I think therefore that leaving the 16yo is fine, however I don't think it's fair on him to leave his younger brother - as others have said, too much responsibility.

A 16 year old looking after his 12 year old brother for a week. no chance!

Overnight yes, not 7 days.

Nope, I wouldn't. At 16 I don't think I was mature enough to look after younger siblings for a week. I would have put my music on loud or gone out and forgotten about them!

Tbh, I would worry so much it wouldn't be worth being on holiday.

And I am pretty relaxed about stuff.

NUFC - I think the culture of leaving teens in those days was completely different (if you were able to leave school at 15 I assume you are late 50s/early 60? Forgive me if I am wrong.)

These days so many teens are more molly-coddled & less independent and with social media etc there does seem to be a tendancy for teens to have parties - or for homes to be gate crashed even if the teen doesn't want to host a party.

When I was 13 I was working regularly at weekends in a restaurant and babysitting, there is no way my 13 year old would be able to legitimately get a proper weekend job now - times have changed and not always for the better.

No way (I have dc of that age if it makes a difference)

We had to call the police from out holidays 300 miles away because my stepson (15) decided to have a party at out house. Local druggies etc all turned up.
He had been warned/threatened to not have party but secret stole a front door key got it cut so he could get in the house.
Just a warning !

Nope, not on your nelly.

My DS, when 15, was left alone for 48 hours and managed to knock himself out by head butting the door frame when playing with a ball
My DD (22) found him when she popped home for something and he ended up in A&E
Up until that point I was quite happy to leave him, now I think twice which is abit ridiculous as he's 16 now

OMG, are you insane? Absolutely NOT.

no
not even now when they are 16 and 14

It would be a no from me too but I might possibly be persuaded if you have friends and family locally who could pop in to see them or have them over for a meal or too.

I think a week is just too long.

I did it at 16. It's the looking after a younger one part that's a no

When I was 13 I was working regularly at weekends in a restaurant

This is a very good point
Nowadays most places won't hire until you're 18