To leave 16yo and 12yo DS home alone for a WEEK?

[MsRyanGosling]

Hi!

We are going on holiday next week, 1h40 away from home. DS1 16y, stayed at home earlier this year alone for a full week (had DoE project to do) and he enjoyed the independence. Survived on hob/microwave meals mainly and sandwiches.

Now 12 yo (nearly 13) DS2 is desperate to be allowed to also stay home with DS1 looking after him.

For: Would be in Skype/Text contact daily+ , Both are mature, don't go for socialising (unless online), DS1 could be trusted as proven before, we would be less than 2 hours drive away and would easily come back if necessary

Against : The house may be burgled by masked robbers, the house may burn down, The internet might go down - what would they do then?! It feels 'off' because he is only 12 They might get run over if they go out replenishing food supplies.

Mumsnet Jury?

Our house is too old and complicated, crazy stove, complex fish tank, occasionally stupid septic tank, to leave DCs for more than the weekend regardless of any age.

We are miles from a decent shop, bus to mates or cinema, etc. They'd get very bored.

Finally DD2(13) does gymnastics continuously on the lawn and the trampoline, I really don't want our lovely neighbour lumbered with carting her off to A&E the next time she hurts herself.

Week not with stupid iphone!

No way why would you consider it leaving your 16 yr old responsible and then letting your 12 yearold have their way and if anything happened to your 12 year old and they ended up in hospital you could get into serious trouble is it worth it.

I'd think twice about leaving a 16yr old alone tbh, but with the responsibility of another sibling?

Hell no!

No. I don't think I would leave a 16 yo for a whole week either. But defnitely not in charge of a 12 yo.

No. I was the child left home at 13. Boredom kicks in, mind wanders. I rowed with my older sister. (16)

We wasted the money left for food shopping and got drunk.

No too young, I think a week is too long to leave even a 16 year old but add the 12 year old into the mix and there is no way I would do it (I have a 16 and 13 year old btw). I leave mine for 2 days a week now while I am at work but am obviously home to cook and overnight! I don't think the risk is even from the unlikely "big" risks like fire etc but more from the little things like scalding themselves with boiling water, leaving a window/door open when they go out etc. I know you say they don't socialise much but unless you are planning on them both staying home all day every day then there will be times when the 12 year old is out with friends and the 16 year old doesn't have contact details or loses track of time. On the other hand, if they are both stuck at home all day surely they will get cabin fever and drive each other mad? In that scenario, I would probably come home to blood on the carpet!

Why are your children not going on holiday with you? Where are you going that you are not taking them?

Also, if one of their friends got wind of them being alone (and I'm sure at least one or two will know), I'd be worried they might mention it on Facebook.

That could lead to them having to fend off unwanted visitors all week long.

If there was an accident you would be hung drawn and quartered for leaving your 12 yr old In the care of your eldest.

It's your call though.. can't you organise another adult close by to look in/to be contactable if they need it?

I wouldn't. Fine to leave the 16 yo, but I don't think it's fair to leave them with the responsibility of looking after a child. What does the 16 yo think about it?

No, I wouldn't.

Sorry. No.

If I was contemplating this, I think for my own peace of mind, if the oldest child was under 18, the youngest child I was considering leaving would have to be old enough for me to also be happy to leave on their own, IYSWIM.

(You have to read that quite slowly for it to make sense )

No. Not for a week.

Are you mad?

My mum did this to us from when we were 17 and 12, but DSis and I were close friends so no fighting and no me leaving her alone, sensible and could run a house effectively in the way of meals and cleaning etc. We barely noticed our parents had gone! Our family knew we were alone and were on call if need be.

If you're comfortable and your kids won't die/kill eachother, I don't see the problem. It's nobody else's business, really. You have to think if you'd be happy to leave the younger one on their own without the older one, though, so the eldest isn't just a glorified babysitter for you.

No, I wouldn't leave either of them. If they can't go with you then don't go.

No No and no! You an't leave a 16yr old in charge of a 12yr old for a week. It's not fair even if they get on perfectly etc it's too much responsibility.

Firstly it's not " illegal" at all but if anything drew them to the attention of the police/authorities you'd be open to charges of neglect.

Secondly the million to one " what if" would blow your family to bits "choked on a haribo whilst mincrafting in bed" or " electrocuted self plugging in appliance" or "choked on vomit after drinking mums secret gin supply" would be " it's my fault my sibling is dead" .

REally not worth it.

No way.

MrsRuff, it made perfect sense to me the third time I read it

No, absolutely not.

12 too young.

16 not too young to stay alone, but too young for responsibility.

No never, have left all mine for a week or more at a time but the youngest had to be sixteen. It's not fair on the oldest to have to be responsible for his younger brother and I wouldn't imagine that he would be deemed as being a responsible adult should there be a disaster involving your younger one.

No, not for a week - try it for a night or two first?

I would be very wary of 'parties', that sort of thing - I know everyone says 'my child wouldn't invite friends round' but you constantly read of this happening in the newspapers and parents returning to £1000s of damage.

Could you invite a grandparent or relative round to supervise them? I bet they'd hate that .