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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that some people genuinely do live a charmed life?

111 replies

lallywag · 17/08/2014 23:07

I know a couple of women that do genuinely seem to lead a charmed life. I know everyone has their own issues and problems, but they don't seem to have the obstacles that many others have, and do just seem to sail through life with constant good fortune.

I know that some people say that there is no such thing as a charmed life but I do think that some people have it easier than others.

OP posts:

ThePearShapedToad · 17/08/2014 23:09

You never know what goes on behind doors... And....

So?? Some people have better lives than others, some have sadly worse lives than others. It's the way the world works. If you want us all to live identically shit lives then go live in communist Korea

Jealous much of someone op?!

Tikimon · 17/08/2014 23:10

No, some people pretend better than others and keep a positive attitude. But everyone is fighting their own battles behind the scenes.

Yes, there's obviously extreme examples between say someone like Colleen Stan and a person in a happy marriage. But generally, everyone has their own demons they have to contend with.

7Days · 17/08/2014 23:10

Well of course some people do have it better than others. That's a given

But over the course of a lifetime everyone will experience hardships and grief

A lot of people have a good mental attitude though. they look on the brightside and don't tend to complain. About the ordinary grumbles and grievances, I mean here. I'd love to be one of them

theeternalstudent · 17/08/2014 23:17

Yes I do think that some people life a charmed life.

For some there problems begin in-utero, long before they are born.

Most people will however have some hardships and loss in their life time. However, if they've had a better start in life they tend to be better able and skilled to deal with life's adversities.

blueshoes · 17/08/2014 23:19

Were these people with charmed lives born into a privileged background? Wealth can certainly help to smooth things over.

NutcrackerFairy · 17/08/2014 23:19

OP I agree with you.

Of course everyone has some issues...

But I do know one or two people seem to have a life of smooth sailing... and I think they would agree with me.

My DB is a case in point. Reasonably intelligent but never studied particularly hard at school. However easily got into the university course he wanted then entered a highly paid career in an area he has always found interesting and stimulating and he doesn't ever consider as being hard work.

He has a lovely wife who worships the ground he walks on. They decided to have children and now have three who are gorgeous, happy and healthy. No fertility worries or struggles, each conceived when they decided they were ready for the next.

DB is pretty good looking too and has the face and body of a 25 year old at nearly 40 years old... and no, he doesn't even have to exercise to achieve this!

I am jealous of him really...!

Original poster

lallywag · 17/08/2014 23:22

The two that I would class as leading a very charmed life are both from quite well off backgrounds; one is from a wealthy family and has married a wealthy man. The other isn't from a hugely wealthy background, but they are comfortable, but her parents and family are all close and very doting, and she too has married a wealthy man.

OP posts:

HauntedNoddyCar · 17/08/2014 23:24

You might think you know them but you might not know everything.

On the surface you'd probably think my life is lovely (and it is) but there's some horrors in there I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

And if they haven't had the bad stuff yet then who knows what's coming down the line.

Make the most of what you have and don't waste your time looking at other people's public lives.

ThePearShapedToad · 17/08/2014 23:25

Well why don't you just concentrate on making your life more charmed op rather than fretting about the unfairness of the world (!)

WaxingGibbon · 17/08/2014 23:26

Yes of course some people in life have it easier than others.

OP is there anything going on for you at the moment that has inspired you to start this particular thread, at this particular time?

ReallyTired · 17/08/2014 23:26

Luck is all relative. Most of lead a charmed life compared to the starving people into Sudan/ Syria/

Lots of religions attempt to come up with reasons why some people suffer more than others. Inevitably people get upset and this causes wars/ more suffering.

bakingaddict · 17/08/2014 23:27

How has life panned out for you? Are you not content with your own life. While I dont have a charmed life it is a comfortable one. Of course more money would be good and to fly first class and to spend 100s on a night in somewhere live the Savoy and Claridges but I still get to go on holidays just they are within my budget.

I think it helps to have friends with similar situations if I had millionaire friends then maybe id always compare myself unfavourably against them

bakingaddict · 17/08/2014 23:27

Like not live

sillymillyb · 17/08/2014 23:30

I knew someone who had a totally charmed life, he was great looking, interesting and respected career, loving family and no money worries at all.

The problem was, that when a great big shitting horrible thing happened to him (made national papers type event) he was so totally Ill equipped to deal with it, because he hadn't had the experience of little hardships to learn from. He reacted much worse than others in his circle, because he just didn't have the skills to deal with it. It was horrible to see.

I have had a hard life, but I have an inner strength that comforts me. I KNOW I will be ok, because I have already been through more than most and I still laugh, I still find pleasure in things. I don't think id want to be charmed, because there is further to fall if you see what I mean?

lornemalvo · 17/08/2014 23:31

I think it is maybe to do with a person's outlook. I feel like I lead a charmed life. I'm always thinking about how lucky I am but there are many who would probably be appalled to live my life. I like my lifestyle (sahm to 3 lovely preschoolers I get to spend a lot of time with - many would think this a boring life), my husband (he wouldn't have enough money for some), our house and its low costs (wouldn't be big enough for many), my other family, my friends, the way we spend our time (wouldn't be exciting enough for some) etc. So somebody else could live my exact life and hate it whereas I feel like everything is going really well.

revealall · 17/08/2014 23:35

I think some people will have a 'charmed life' in the same way that some people do get dealt a bad hand.

For example some people sail through without health problems and no family illness or unexpected deaths. They have to have better lives than those who find themselves losing close family and/ or friends or have longer term illness themselves.
Amongst my friends there doesn't seem to be any reason why one lost most of her family before they she turned 50, another who lost their husband and others who's main friends and family are all still doing well.
So YANBU.

OhOneOhTwoOhThree · 17/08/2014 23:37

I used to think that until:

(a) I got to know one or two of the people who I thought led a charmed life a bit better and realised that although on the surface their lives looked pretty good, actually they weren't;

and,

(b) someone told me that I had a charmed life. It might look like that, but I guarantee that the reality is very different.

Spinaroo · 17/08/2014 23:41

Lots of people have what is considered a charmed life- it Is all relative.

I don't know if I would say I had a charmed life but I have has few hardships- I have seen friends go through breakup and illness, job loss and bereavements and I recognise that I very fortunate in that I have not had to encounter these things - yet!!- because I have no doubt that I will have to face somwthing some day. In the meantime, I thank God every day for the fortune I have and look to him and those whom I have witnessed facing these things for the strength I will need if and when it is my turn.

FacebookWillEatItself · 17/08/2014 23:43

Of course some people are exceptionally lucky to be happy, well off, successful, have beautiful/clever children, devoted partners etc., etc, but never make the mistake of thinking that what you see on the outside represents the whole truth of what goes on on the inside.

Some people are very, very good at making everyone think their lives are all tickedyboo when actually they are struggling with stuff we may never know about.

Username12345 · 17/08/2014 23:44

Don't really get all the hostility from ThePearShapedToad

I think OP has made a valid observation.
I know there are people who will poo-poo the idea of a person having a good life with sayings like, the grass isn't always greener or you never know what happens behind closed door. But there probably are people who get everything given to them, have a wonderful life, never worry about anything, never suffer disease or problems in their families.

I wouldn't begrudge anyone that. Good for them.

AlleyCat11 · 18/08/2014 00:11

I don't think folk are pretending... I have a friend who is highly strung (suffers from anxiety & paranoia) that constantly accuses me of faking my sunny outlook. I'm happy & have a good life. That's all there is really...
My mother often says that she has a charmed life. She's happily married, has two loving kids, works for nice people. Plenty of money, good health, travels the world. I think in her day there wasn't the pressure of "having it all".

OhMyArsingGodInABox · 18/08/2014 00:15

I have a charmed life. I have plenty of money, nice bug house, devoted husband, adorable children, good job that I enjoy, lots of friends and hobbies.

I've also been through depression, drugs, alcohol, homelessness, debt, divorce, redundancy and assault. If I were a different type of person I could consider myself very unlucky.

It's often just down to simple perception, your own and other peoples.

Life is just life. No one is really charmed or really unlucky IMO.

OhMyArsingGodInABox · 18/08/2014 00:16

Haha at bug house. This phone is a pain. Curse my bad luck.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/08/2014 00:19

Like Arsing I consider my life charmed. That is not to say there haven't been issues but I am certainly a glass half-full type and I also recognise that compared to most women in history and geography, I am bloody lucky. Anything could happen tomorrow, though.

The rule is you should never compare the inside of your life with the outside of someone else's.

Darkandstormynight · 18/08/2014 00:32

Some make better choices that makes their lives easier.

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