To think that some people genuinely do live a charmed life?

[lallywag]

I know a couple of women that do genuinely seem to lead a charmed life. I know everyone has their own issues and problems, but they don't seem to have the obstacles that many others have, and do just seem to sail through life with constant good fortune.

I know that some people say that there is no such thing as a charmed life but I do think that some people have it easier than others.

You might have a charmed life, whatever that means, it will mean different things to different people.

And it could all come crashing down tomorrow.

Life is so unpredictable, after all

Best to be grateful for the good things you have going for you in life than looking with envy at another,s....

OP, do you mean that some people actually have some sort of magic talisman which protects them and makes things generally go in their favour?

If so how do you imagine they came by such a thing?

Or are you just making the tautologous statement that luck is random and therefore not evenly distributed?

I am lucky in that I am very happy with my DH, have a lovely home and a lovely DS, and pretty good health, no money worries and am content. To an outsider they may think I am charmed or that Ihave a boring life , who knows but I am really happy right now and glad about it.

How would you know everything about their private lives? People show a different face to the world, particularly on social media. Try not to compare yourself to other people.

My very expensive mobile phone which I only bought in December 2013 was stolen on Friday. I was bloody annoyed and changing passwords and dealing with insurers was a nuisance.

However it did occur to me that my phone being stolen is the worst thing that has happened to me in a very, very long time and if I had to make up a list of awful things that have happened and adversities and struggles it would be on it , because, yes, I think I have up to now had a charmed life and there would be little else on my list.

What has made it charmed is being white, born middle-class (but not in a conventional family) being very bright at school, going to a good university in the days when only a minority did (my profession now has far more graduates than it needs) but it was free and one got a grant.

Working hard to exploit the advantages I had has helped too of course.

I enjoy excellent health and I have a lovely husband and son and a small, but much loved group of friends. So yes, my life probably would be seen as charmed.

I think that some people do have a charmed life but thats because it doesnt occur to them that life should be any other way.

A (now ex) friend of my sisters has always just strolled into amazing jobs and despite monumentally fucking up has then just strolled into the next one. The same with friendships and her marriages, they always provide her with things that she wants. I think that she genuinely believes that she deserves the best of everything and that self belief transfers to people she encounters. She gets the good jobs because why on earth would be be going for them and bigging herself up is she wasnt able to do them?

She is currently on marriage 3 to yet another stonkingly rich and handsome man, who no doubt she will treat appallingly and leave for the next one. She did this to my sister in her friendship (and many other people too) and yet somehow it never bites her on the ass.

sillymilly I know someone like that. Life had always been good, partly through luck, partly through hard work. She met her now DH when she was 15 and has been married for over 20 years, 2 DD's, both make good money. Charmed.

Then something bad happened and she didnt know how to cope, she totally fell apart. It was a parental bereavement, terribly sad but nothing unexpected for anyone. But because she had never had to deal with anything worse than being ill or the car breaking down, it hit her far harder than it did her brother who had had a more "normal" life with downs as well as ups.

I hate that my life has had more downs than ups, but it means that I am far better equipped to deal with lifes inevitable pain and tragedies.

YANBU

I know someone living a very charmed life but she just doesn't see it.

She married an older man who owned a house already so he sold it to buy her her perfect home. A 4 bed detached new build.

Her DH works hard and earns well so she gets everything she wants, her home is beautiful and if she's bored of anything he'll get it decorated professionally straight away for her. She drives a brand new car, has her hair done regularly, has laser treatment to keep her skin lovely and expensive veneers when she chipped a tooth, the DCs have brand new, designer clothes whenever they want. No health issues, great marriage, lovely kids etc.

But because she chooses to work 12 hrs a week and that money is 'hers', when it runs out at the end of the month she moans she's skint. She forgets that all the bills are being paid by her DH so she's never truly known what skint is.

I had to laugh when she uttered the words "the credit crunch has hit me hard" because she had to fill her car with petrol and didn't realise how much it cost.

There's charmed as in never having to lift a finger and all of life's riches flow to you.

Then there's charmed as in I know how fucking lucky I am.

I know how lucky I am because in 2008 I came very close indeed to losing everything.

Oh, and one of my favourite sayings!

The harder I work, the luckier I get.

Some are born to sweet delight

And some are born to endless night.

Totally agree op.

Absolutely I agree with you OP - and conversely, some people seem to have more than their fair share of bad luck too. One friend of mine had a stroke at 50 from which she will never fully recover, and which confined her to a wheelchair and robbed her of her speech for several years, suddenly lost her young daughter to cancer two years after that, and now is forced to watch her husband slip away with early onset dementia.

I don't believe that her family is cursed - I think life just happens to people, and some people are relatively lucky and some are unlucky, but to claim that the good luck is evenly distributed everywhere is a bit blinkered.

I do think perception is a massive part of it. I've been massively unlucky in that both my ds and DM have had extreme life threatening ill-health, both involving very low survival odds. I've gone through some seriously bleak moments over the last few years. But both appear to have beaten the odds, which I think makes me enormously lucky. Add to which I now have 3 healthy kids, a fabulous dh, financial security and beautiful house. Lots of friends/acquaintances over the last few years will at various points have been thinking 'thank god I'm not Zoe', but equally now may look at me and think 'lucky sod, she has it all'. Charmed life? Yes and no!

I do think perception is a massive part of it. I've been massively unlucky in that both my ds and DM have had extreme life threatening ill-health, both involving very low survival odds. I've gone through some seriously bleak moments over the last few years. But both appear to have beaten the odds, which I think makes me enormously lucky. Add to which I now have 3 healthy kids, a fabulous dh, financial security and beautiful house. Lots of friends/acquaintances over the last few years will at various points have been thinking 'thank god I'm not Zoe', but equally now may look at me and think 'lucky sod, she has it all'. Charmed life? Yes and no!

I think to an extent I agree.

In the course of life, I think most people will have their shares of ups and downs.

But I have a few friends for whom everything just falls into place. And others who have just battled and battled.

Some things, like infertility or accidents or ill health are just bad luck. And sometimes lots of bad things happen to one person. It does seem very unfair at times.

I though I had a charmed life until my DH told me on Saturday that he was shagging a colleague. I am now sofa-surfing for the foreseeable future and dependent on the kindness of friends and family.

There is a luck in everyone's life be it good or bad.

My aunt and her family have had tragedy after tragedy ( awful illnesses and medical negligence in children and ILs and child suicide and child deformity) I honestly don't know how she copes but she has an inner strength and is wonderful. She is the first to admit that she would rather have had a charmed life though.

I think that if you're born in a place where you get food, education, a roof over your head and freedom of your beliefs, then you lead a charmed life compared to a significant percentage of the planet's population. I know that if something shitty is happening to you, sparing a thought to remember that clean water is a real luxury to many might not help though!

seameadows So sorry you are going through such a terrible thing.

I tend to think more about the poor people who seem to have more than a fair share of bad things as being not cursed but so so unlucky. The Kennedy family for example. I know these people were all very privileged etc in the grand scheme of things but so many early deaths in unusually tragic circs.

I don't know. I know I feel lucky despite a few serious curve balls. I am lucky compared to many. As many posters are saying, never compare.

Oh God seameadows, I am so sorry.

Hmmm...I don't know. There are people who do seem to just fall into luck. I think perception and resilience play big parts though.

I feel I live a charmed life, but I just forget about the bad things. I remember reading about someone like that (for some reason my mind insists it was Frank Sinatra) who talked all the time about his luck, instant success, etc. Really, he'd stumbled and struggled many times along the way, but he told the story of his charmed life so often it became true.

I think attitude might have a lot to do with it.

Maybe these women are positive types, don't complain, have smiles on their faces, so don't on the surface appear to be troubled by much?

I sometimes feel like I have a charmed life - amazing husband, good job I enjoy, a wonderful boy I had no trouble conceiving.

Of course I could look at it another way and feel cursed for having medical problems and sleep deprivation and a husband who works really long hours and a tantrumming toddler...

I think very few people do lead a charmed life compared to their direct contemporaries. You can only ever see the outside of someones life never the inside and never the complete person. If you think about the statistics (1 in 4 suffer mental health problems at some point, 1 in 3 will get cancer, 1 in 6 suffer fertility problems, 1 in 3 marriages breakdown, etc) the chances of someone getting through 70+ years without a period of distress is pretty small.
Also we never know what people really mean when they say certain things. For example, I know a very high flying woman who looks to have the ultimate charmed life. She is unbelievably clever, ridiculously highly paid, is about to give up work for 6 months as she wants a break, owns her house at 40, drives very flash sports car, etc. She is generous to a fault and much loved by her friends and family. She doesn't have kids or any serious relationship and always says it is by choice as she never really wanted that life. I also know as we have a very old friend in common that she has suffered horrific gynae and psychological problems as the result of a terrible sexual assault. I've never breathed a word and I completely respect her for being able to come back to any semblance of life after what happened, let alone the huge success she has made. However, there is nothing charmed about it.

I have a friend who appears to have a charmed life.... Massive house, lots of money.... The cracks are appearing.... feel sorry for her tbh.